It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad (2006)

Rob McElhenney: Mac

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mac : What in the hell is a MySpace page?

  Dee Reynolds : It's like that friends forum.

  Dennis Reynolds : Dude, these things are actually pretty awesome. You create a profile, and then you put your picture on there, and then other people send you pictures of themselves and they want to be your friend.

  Mac : Wow, so that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. You guys are losers.

  Dennis Reynolds : How are we losers, dude?

  Mac : Well, maybe it boils down to this, smart guy: computers are for losers.

  Dennis Reynolds : And you're drinking a beer at 8 o'clock in the morning.

  Mac : Whatever, dude, irrelevant.

• Mac : Charlie, this is our opportunity to prove to people that we are to be respected. No one is more respected than dudes in prison right?

  Charlie Kelly : Yeah.

  Mac : And what are dudes in prison?

  Charlie Kelly : Hard?

  Mac : Right; this is our chance to get hard.

  Charlie Kelly : OK OK i just don't know if this is the best way to get hard.

  Mac : Of course it is, this is totally hard. Look you want to get hard don't you?

  Charlie Kelly : I want to get hard. I want to get very very hard.

  Mac : Alright, do you want to shove heroin into your ass?

  Charlie Kelly : Dude I don't want to shove anything in my ass.

  Mac : Alright this is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are and not have to shove anything into our asses.

  Frank Reynolds : What in Gods name are you two talking about?

  Mac : Frank we're in.

  Frank Reynolds : Great!

  [Fires Gun] 

• Charlie Kelly : Oh, this is such bullshit. So you guys have two dads and I don't even have one!

  Mac : Yeah, that is bullshit, we don't even have one.

  Charlie Kelly : What are you talking about? You have a father!

  Mac : Yeah, but he's in prison, Charlie, and he's been there my whole life. It doesn't count.

• Mac : Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?

  Charlie Kelly : Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!

  Mac : All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!

• Dennis Reynolds : It's 8 o'clock in the morning and you're drinking a beer.

  Mac : Hey, that's how we roll. Go with it.