The Batman (TV Series)

Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind (2006)

Jeff Bennett: D.A.V.E.

Quotes 

• Batman : Impressive. You have all the answers, D.A.V.E., except one. Every great supervillain, as well as a superhero, has an origin too. What's yours?

  D.A.V.E. : My origin? I... I... fell into a chemical bath.

  Batman : That's Joker.

  D.A.V.E. : A cryogenic mishap. No, no. I... I lost my family fortune.

  Batman : Freeze. Penguin.

  D.A.V.E. : I was a mad psychiatrist using Arkham as my cover.

  Batman : That's Professor Strange, your creator. You can't remember your origin because it doesn't exist. You're a computer program.

• [approaching a password-protected door] 

  D.A.V.E. : A million possible security codes. Let's try them all.

  [begins typing very quickly and the door opens] 

• [Dave has just completed his new body] 

  Scientist : Wh... What are you?

  D.A.V.E. : Not "what." "Who."

  [the scientist stares in fear] 

  D.A.V.E. : I like your coat.

• [Batman returns to the Batcave to find D.A.V.E] 

  D.A.V.E. : Welcome home... Bruce.

  Batman : You should have told me you were stopping by. The place is a mess.

  D.A.V.E. : Humor. Often used as a coping mechanism in high-stress situations.

• [after knocking out several security guards] 

  D.A.V.E. : Estimated lack of conciousness, 10 minutes, 34 seconds. Estimated completion of data aquisition, 9 minutes, 15 seconds.

• D.A.V.E. : You would probably like your tracking device back? Another predictable move.

  Batman : Then my next move won't suprise you, either.

  [they fight] 

  D.A.V.E. : Not only am I smarter than you, Batman, I am faster and stronger!

• [on a jumbotron above the city] 

  D.A.V.E. : Hello again, Gotham. Now that the preparations are complete, on with the crime itself... involving all of Gotham's major banks.

  [begins hacking bank servers] 

  D.A.V.E. : Now, most great crimes are based on the foundation of monetary gain. Diamonds, gold, art, etc. But pilfering meer money is so passe these days. That is, unless one steals EVERYONE's money.

  [drains the accounts of all the citizens of Gotham] 

  D.A.V.E. : Voila. I'm rich, you're not.

• D.A.V.E. : [still on the jumbotron]  The ultimate crime should induce mass hysteria.

  [shuts down the power grid] 

  D.A.V.E. : Because fear is the felon's friend.

  [several car accidents ensew immediatly] 

  D.A.V.E. : Oh, and what crime is complete without the personal touch...

  [the city lights illuminate his name] 

  D.A.V.E. : My calling card! And there you have it, Gotham. The ultimate crime!