The Simpsons (TV Series)

The PTA Disbands (1995)

Hank Azaria: Principal Valiant, First Surrendering Man, Brigade Leader, Kirk Van Houten, Chess Player #1, Long-Haired Teacher, Superintendent Chalmers, Professor Frink, Moe Szyslak, Snake

Quotes 

• Moe Szyslak : [subbing for Mrs. Krabappel]  Okay, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". No, say "present". Anita Bath?

  [the class laughs] 

  Moe Szyslak : All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?

  [the class laughs again] 

  Moe Szyslak : All right, fine. Fine, uh... Maya Buttreeks.

  [the class laughs] 

  Moe Szyslak : Hey, hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh... Oh, I get it. I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!

  [Moe runs out of the room sobbing] 

• [Bart is at a bank where Superintendent Chalmers is a customer] 

  Bart : [chuckles; altering his voice]  "Whaddya mean, the bank is out of money?"! "Insolvent?"! "You only have enough cash for the next three customers?"!

  [the customers get angry and bang on the tellers' windows for an explanation] 

  Bank Manager : [ala Jimmy Stewart]  N-now-now, just wait just a second here! No, no... I don't have your money here! It's at Bill's house, and-and-and Fred's house!

  Moe Szyslak : Hey, what the hell you doing with my money in your house, Fred?

  [the customers get into a fight amongst each other. Bart walks away, laughing] 

• [Teaching a kindergarten class, Professor Frink is pushing a wheeled toy resembling a vacuum cleaner back and forth] 

  Professor Frink : Wahey! So, the compression and expansion of the longitudinal waves cause the radic oscillation - you can see it there - of the neighbouring particles.

  [a kid raises his hand] 

  Professor Frink : Yes, what is it? What? What is it?

  Kindergarten kid : Can I play with it?

  Professor Frink : No, you can't play with it. You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do.

  [laughs]