The Simpsons (TV Series)
The PTA Disbands (1995)
Hank Azaria: Principal Valiant, First Surrendering Man, Brigade Leader, Kirk Van Houten, Chess Player #1, Long-Haired Teacher, Superintendent Chalmers, Professor Frink, Moe Szyslak, Snake
Quotes
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Moe Szyslak : [subbing for Mrs. Krabappel] Okay, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". No, say "present". Anita Bath?
[the class laughs]
Moe Szyslak : All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
[the class laughs again]
Moe Szyslak : All right, fine. Fine, uh... Maya Buttreeks.
[the class laughs]
Moe Szyslak : Hey, hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh... Oh, I get it. I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!
[Moe runs out of the room sobbing]
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[Bart is at a bank where Superintendent Chalmers is a customer]
Bart : [chuckles; altering his voice] "Whaddya mean, the bank is out of money?"! "Insolvent?"! "You only have enough cash for the next three customers?"!
[the customers get angry and bang on the tellers' windows for an explanation]
Bank Manager : [ala Jimmy Stewart] N-now-now, just wait just a second here! No, no... I don't have your money here! It's at Bill's house, and-and-and Fred's house!
Moe Szyslak : Hey, what the hell you doing with my money in your house, Fred?
[the customers get into a fight amongst each other. Bart walks away, laughing]
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[Teaching a kindergarten class, Professor Frink is pushing a wheeled toy resembling a vacuum cleaner back and forth]
Professor Frink : Wahey! So, the compression and expansion of the longitudinal waves cause the radic oscillation - you can see it there - of the neighbouring particles.
[a kid raises his hand]
Professor Frink : Yes, what is it? What? What is it?
Kindergarten kid : Can I play with it?
Professor Frink : No, you can't play with it. You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do.
[laughs]