Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

The Painted Hills (1993)

Jim Mallon: Gypsy

Quotes 

• Gypsy : Tonight on "The Advocates," our debate will be about the woman from today's short. Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot will argue over whether she's more attractive sloppy, or clean Representing sloppy will be Crow. Representing clean will be Servo. I will be your moderator. The outcome will be decided by Joel Robinson. I now turn the floor over to Crow.

  Crow T. Robot : Thank you Gypsy. I like her sloppy. While her well-groomed - in other words, square - classmates were listening to Pat Boone and Patti Page, she was at the local jazz club, groovin' to Miles, Monk, and Coltrane. While her classmates were struggling to make it through an issue of Reader's Digest, she was the only woman on campus who can freely quote Henry Miller. She may be sloppy, but she fits deeply into my idea of paradise. Thank You.

  Gypsy : Tom Servo,

  Tom Servo : Thank you, Gypsy. I like her clean, 'cause it just shows that she wants to change the system from within. Sure she's a seething cauldron of passion, but she wears clean underpants, and she knows where her shirt is in the morning. Call her what you will - a Scoop Jackson Democrat or a Jacob Javits Republican - either way, she's the stuff that dreams are made of. Thank you,

  Gypsy : And now Joel Robinson will render his verdict.

  Joel Robinson : Well, thank you, Gypsy. Uh, both of these issues are complex, and there are no easy answers, but Crow is right.

  Crow T. Robot : Woo-hoo! I'm right, I'm right!

  Tom Servo : Wait a minute, Joel! Now, the whole subject of cleanliness and grooming is very important to me, and I know a much more effective way to resolve this issue.

  Joel Robinson : Well, how's that?

  Tom Servo : A spitting contest!

  [Spits on Joel and he and Crow try to spit each other behind Gypsy] 

  Gypsy : Wait! wait! Hey, knock it off! Hey!