Quotes
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Sgt. Jay Landsman : [Landsman knocks on Rawls' door] Major, sir?
Maj. William A. Rawls : Yeah.
Sgt. Jay Landsman : I been thinkin'. It's a clear violation of the general orders, I know, but...
[Rawls motions for Landsman to sit]
Sgt. Jay Landsman : Last night, I'm at home, I'm sittin' up buck naked. And I, I got one hand wrapped around a cold domestic beer, and the other wrapped around my magnificent flaccid four-and-one-half-inch wonder, and I am trying with all my might to remember what Leila Kaufman's nipples looked like when her bathing top slipped off at the Hillendale Pool swim party.
Maj. William A. Rawls : [chuckling] Leila Kaufman?
Sgt. Jay Landsman : Yes, sir. Uh, summer of '72. I got this saucy wench in my gunsights, so to speak, and, uh... I am dangerously close to engorged when, all of a fuckin' sudden, out of fuckin' nowhere, fuckin' Detective fuckin' Jimmy McNulty pops into my head.
Maj. William A. Rawls : McNulty?
Sgt. Jay Landsman : Obviously, I gotta open my eyes and admit to myself that my whole night is ruined, at which point I got nothin' to do but think about the problems of Jimmy McNulty, because clearly, this guy and his fuckin' problems are standing between me and all worldly pleasure.
Maj. William A. Rawls : Clearly.
Sgt. Jay Landsman : First of all... it's not Jimmy's fault.
Maj. William A. Rawls : No?
Sgt. Jay Landsman : No. Jimmy is an addict, sir.
Maj. William A. Rawls : What's he addicted to?
Sgt. Jay Landsman : Himself.
[Rawls laughs]
Sgt. Jay Landsman : No, it's not funny, sir. As a matter of fact, it's a fuckin' tragedy, is what it is. The guy, he has come to believe that he is always the smartest fuck in the room. And you know what? It's not his fault, because let's face it, he's not goin' to Johns Hopkins or joining Mensa, he's taking a fuckin' job with the Bawlmer Police Department. His first two years in Homicide, he's in Ulmansky's squad, partnered with Tony LaMartino. Christ, it must've been months, even, he WAS the smartest fuck in the fuckin' room!
Maj. William A. Rawls : What's your point, Jay?
Sgt. Jay Landsman : My point is... he can't help it. It makes him an asshole, I know, but... it's also what makes him good police. Last year, he gives me eight clearances. One of them was a decomp floater who was John Doe for three weeks.
[Rawls doesn't say anything; Landsman starts to stand]
Maj. William A. Rawls : Tell your boy to wrap up that bullshit detail in two weeks. He does that, he comes home. Clean slate.
[Landsman smiles and leaves]
