The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (1997)

Hank Azaria: Investo the Robot, Royce McCutcheon, Disco Stu, Fleet-A-Pita Chef, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Cletus, Bumblebee Man, Baseball Announcer #2, Lou, Moe Szyslak

Quotes 

• Moe Szyslak : [serving a beer]  Here you go, Homer.

  Homer Simpson : [putting a $50 bill on the bartop]  Thanks, Moe.

  Moe Szyslak : Ah, Homer, you know your money's no good here. Hey, wait a minute. This is real money!

• Cletus : Give us 300 pretzels.

  Marge Simpson : You see? A little persistence and patience paid off. That'll be $300.

  Cletus : Hey, I don't think so. I got me 300 coupons.

  Marge Simpson : [taking one and grumbling]  I should have said "Limit: One per customer."

  Cletus : Should've, but didn't, so hand 'em over.

• Helen Lovejoy : I don't understand why they won't unload our falafel fixings.

  Lou : Ship's impounded, ma'am.

  Chief Wiggum : Yeah. We uh, found a couple of barnacles on the hull. That and, uh, the deck was, uh, wet.

  Helen Lovejoy : That's crazy. And what are those men doing under my van?

  Chief Wiggum : Look, lady, if I was you, I would just leap into the air as I'm preparing to do.

  [the Fleet-A-Pita van explodes] 

• Frank Ormand : Hello, I'm Frank Ormand. And if you're watching me, that means you've got pretzel fever, and not the kind that attacked my intestinal lining some years back.

  [laughing] 

  Frank Ormand : So let's get your franchise up and running. Start by setting up an office in your basement or garage. An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like you're working in a futuristic wonderworld. Next, blanket your community with flyers. A phony ticker-tape parade will help you avoid littering laws.

  [in said parade, Homer drives down the street with Lisa in the back, wearing a makeshift astronaut helmet] 

  Chief Wiggum : [wiping a tear from his eye]  Welcome back, space girl.

• Marge Simpson : Welcome to Pretzel Wagon. May I take your order?

  Lenny : Uh, let's see. I'll have... one, uh...

  Carl : Hey, hurry up. I wanna get my pretzel.

  Lenny : One pretzel.

  Marge Simpson : [he pays and moves on]  Thank you.

  Carl : Uh, let's see, um... I will have one of your, uh...

  Mr. Burns : Come on, come on, while we're young.

  Lenny : [honking its horn, the Fleet-A-Pita van pulls up]  Wow, check out that van. It looks like it doesn't even need our business.

  Carl : Hey, let's go.

• Royce McCutcheon : Well, that's the miracle of the franchise. You get all the equipment and know-how you need, plus a familiar brand name people trust. You'll be on a rocket ride to the moon. And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice green moon money for me, Royce McCutcheon?

  Homer Simpson : No deal, McCutcheon. That moon money is mine.

• Disco Stu : Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue... aayyy!

  Homer Simpson : [he puts his platform shoes up on the tabletop]  Uh, your fish are dead.

  Disco Stu : Yeah, I know. I can't get them out of there.

• [the family arrives at the franchise fair and are greeted by a robot holding two sacks of cash in either hand who moves left and right constantly blocking the entrance] 

  Investo the Robot : Greetings, humans. I am Investo the Robot from the Planet Opportuniac. My superior brain advises you to enter the franchise fair.

  Marge Simpson : Well, we're trying to; but you're blocking our way.

  Investo the Robot : Danger! Danger! Don't forget to pick up pamphlets.

  Bart Simpson : I'll handle this.

  [Bart removes the lid off a cup of soda he's drinking and pours the liquid all over Investo short-circuiting him in the process; the family walks into the franchise once the robot falls the floor] 

  Investo the Robot : [distorted]  Help, help, help. Security code 30.