The Simpsons (TV Series)

Lisa's Sax (1997)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Chin-Ho, Todd Flanders, Nelson Muntz

Quotes 

• Teacher : And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan. So you see children, there is hope for anyone.

  Bart Simpson : Even me?

  Teacher : No.

• Homer : Hey boy. Wanna play catch?

  Bart : No thanks dad.

  Homer : When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.

  Grampa : I'll play catch with you.

  Homer : Go home.

• Bart Simpson : [singing his ABC's]  A, B, C, uhh, line?

  Teacher : D

  Bart Simpson : D, E, uhh, line?

  Teacher : F, Bart, and believe me, you'll be seeing plenty of them.

• [Bart discovers he can make kids laugh, and puts on a show for the Kindergarteners] 

  Bart Simpson : [singing]  Skinner is a nut, he has a rubber butt!

  Principal Skinner : [appearing from behind a tree]  Young man, I can assure you my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone, and... that metal plate I got in 'Nam.

  Bart Simpson : [gulps] 

  Principal Skinner : Now, I want you to knock off that potty talk right now!

  Bart Simpson : [laughing]  The principal said potty!

  [the kids laugh. Skinner shudders in frustration] 

  Principal Skinner : You listen to me, son. You just started school, and the path you choose now may be the one you follow for the rest of your life! Now, what did you say?

  Bart Simpson : [looks at Skinner, then at Jimbo. It is his moment of truth]  Eat my shorts!

  Principal Skinner : All right, I'll ea... eat your shorts?

  Bart Simpson : That's right, eat my shorts!

  [singing to "Batman" theme] 

  Bart Simpson : Buttman! Na na na na na na na na, Buttman!

• Homer Simpson : Our family was suffering its worst crisis ever. Bart was miserable at school, and Lisa's gifts were going to waste.

  Bart Simpson : Uh, Homer, its five years later and I'm still miserable at school.

  Lisa Simpson : And my gifts are still going to waste!

  Marge Simpson : And sometimes I just feel so smothered by this family I just want to scream till my lungs explode!

• Marge : You know, Homer, there's $200 in the air conditioning account.

  Homer : Oh Marge! Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life sweating like a pig?

  Bart : Not to mention eating like a pig and dressing like a pig.

  Apu : Don't forget the smell.

  Homer : Will you get off of my lawn?

  Apu : Why don't you make me?

  Homer : Why, you...! Oh, forget it.

• Homer Simpson : Bart son, do you want to play catch?

  Bart Simpson : No.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, when a boy doesn't wanna play catch with his old man, something is seriously wrong.

  Grampa Simpson : I'll play catch with you, son.

  Homer Simpson : Get the hell out!

  Grampa Simpson : I'm gone.

• Bart : Skinner is a nut, he has a rubber butt!

  Principal Skinner : Young man, I can assure you my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone, and that metal plate I got in 'Nam.