"The Simpsons" Colonel Homer (TV Episode 1992) - Beverly D'Angelo as Lurleen Lumpkin

Homer : Guess what, Lurleen. I got you a gig on TV.

Lurleen Lumpkin : Oh, Homer, you're as smart as you are handsome.

Homer : Hey! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
Lurleen Lumpkin : Oh, Homer, no man's ever been nice to me without, you know, wantin' something in return.

Homer : Well, I was going to ask you for a glass of water, but now I kind of feel guilty about it.
Lurleen Lumpkin : You're just a big sack of sugar.

Homer : Thanks!... You did say "sugar," right?
Homer : I'm sorry, Lurleen. All I wanted to do was share your beautiful voice with other people, and I've done that. Now, I'd better get out of here before I lose my family.

[Homer walks out a door, then comes back]

Homer : Just so I don't wonder, you would have gone all the way with me, wouldn't you?

Lurleen Lumpkin : Uh-huh.

Homer : [disappointed] Ooh. Okay.
Homer : Lurleen, wait.

Lurleen Lumpkin : Yeah?

Homer : I just wanted to say your song touched me deeply in a way I've never felt before... and which way to the can?
Homer : Do you have your songs on a CD?

Lurleen Lumpkin : Sorry. Al my songs are up here.

[referring to her head]

Lurleen Lumpkin : "I'm Basting a Turkey With my Tears", "Don't Look Up my Dress Unless You Mean It", "I'm Sick of Your Lyin' Lips and False Teeth".

Beverly D'Angelo: Lurleen Lumpkin