Red Dwarf (TV Series)

The Inquisitor (1992)

Danny John-Jules: Cat

Quotes 

• The Cat : Hi, buddy.

  Inquisitor : This is your judgment day, bud. I gotta be cruel. There can't be no favours.

  The Cat : I'm hearing you on FM.

  Inquisitor : I have to ask you the question. Justify your existence; what contribution have you made?

  The Cat : I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass.

  Inquisitor : Well, that's true.

  The Cat : Can I go now?

  Inquisitor : That's your case?

  The Cat : You need more?

  Inquisitor : Some might say that was a pretty shallow argument.

  The Cat : Some might say I'm a pretty shallow guy; a shallow guy with a great ass.

  Inquisitor : Sometimes you astonish even me.

  The Cat : Thank you.

• Lister : Hang on a minute, who's to say what's worth anything?

  The Cat : Oh, please, take a look in the mirror! Read your entry in Who's Nobody!

  Lister : No, I mean it, who's to judge, who's to say what's worthwhile?

  Rimmer : Well, let's face it Lister, lying on your bunk reading What Bike? And eating Sugar Puff sandwiches for eight hours a day is unlikely to qualify.

  Lister : So just because I haven't written any symphonies or painted the Sistine Chapel that makes me prunable?

  Holly : No, being a totally worthless, unwashed space-bum, that's what makes you prunable!

• Cat : [referring to Rimmer]  I hate to admit it, but for once Trans-Am Wheel-Arch Nostrils is right.