Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Back to Reality (1992)

Chris Barrie: Rimmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rimmer : Kryten, open the next one.

  Kryten : Listen, whoever you are, don't push your luck by ordering whoever I am around, because almost certainly, whoever I am, I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna take any crap from whoever you are. So before you start ordering me around, let's establish if I'm the kind of guy who doesn't mind being ordered around or if I'm the kind of guy who gets all uptight about being ordered around by whatever the kind of guy you are.

  Rimmer : All I said was open the next one.

• Rimmer : This is a nightmare! I'm on the run from the Fascist Police with a murderer, a mass murderer and a man in a Bri-Nylon shirt!

• Rimmer : I know that, emotionally speaking, this isn't the news you want to hear right now. But there's a blob on the sonar scope the size of New Mexico and it's heading your way.

  Holly : I think our friend the Suicide Squid is about to put in an appearance.

  Kryten : Where is it, precisely?

  Rimmer : Directly above you. 2,000 fathoms and diving.

  Lister : Oh, thanks a lot, Rimmer. You know the state we're in and you have to go and give us news like that. You couldn't have *lied*?

  Rimmer : I *was* lying. It's only 1,000 fathoms.

• Lister : I'm not Lister then? I'm not me, am I?

  Kryten : None of us are who we thought we were, sir. This is going to take some getting used to.

  Rimmer : I'm not Rimmer, then?

  Kryten : No.

  Rimmer : I'm not a hologram. I'm not Rimmer.

  The Cat : Well, if we're not who we thought we were, who the hell are we?

  Lister : Some kind of sad acts who want to spend four years playing a computer game. Either running away from God knows what, or had nothing worth living for in the first place.

• Cop : [to Sebastian-Lister]  Come out of the shadows, Voter.

  Sebastian Doyle : What's the beef? Did she steal your lunch box?

  Cop : M... mm... many apologies, Voter Colonel.

  Sebastian Doyle : You know me?

  Cop : Of course, Voter Colonel.

  Sebastian Doyle : Who am I?

  Cop : You are Colonel Sebastian Doyle, Section Chief of CGI, Head of the Ministry of Alteration.

  Sebastian Doyle : Remind me a little: what do we do at the Ministry of Alteration?

  Cop : You... change people, Sir.

  Sebastian Doyle : In what way?

  Cop : You change them from being alive people, to being dead people. To purify Democracy.

  Billy Doyle : Purify?

  Cop : [proudly]  No one has done more to purge the ballot boxes than the Voter Colonel.

  Duane Dibbley : So why has he been away for 4 years then?

  Cop : Excuse me, Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?

  Sebastian Doyle : Answer him.

  Cop : The rumour was that you had grown weary of your glorious duties and had gone away in secret to renew yourself.