Maude (TV Series)

Maude's Dilemma: Part 2 (1972)

Bill Macy: Walter Findlay

Quotes 

• Walter Findlay : [to Maude]  Sweetheart, would it disappoint you too much to learn that becoming a father was never one of my life's ambitions? I-I don't know why. For years I used to feel guilty about it. For years people told me I was nuts or too selfish. How can I not love kids? Well I do love kids, but they don't have to be mine. That's probably the worst confession I'll ever make. Do ya hate me?

• Walter Findlay : Maude. I think it would be wrong to have a child at our age.

  Maude Findlay : [Tearing up]  Oh, so do I, Walter.

  [Hugging him] 

  Maude Findlay : Oh, so do I.

• Maude Findlay : Just tell me, Walter, that I'm doing the right thing not having the baby.

  Walter Findlay : For you, Maude. For me. In the privacy of our own lives. You're doing the right thing.

• Dr. Arthur Harmon : Just between you and me, Walter, I don't know why Maude wants to have the baby at all. At her age you know there are certain risks.

  Walter Findlay : Well, don't underestimate the maternal instinct, Arthur. Besides, she might also be fighting the idea of abortion on moral grounds.

  Dr. Arthur Harmon : And you don't want to interfere?

  Walter Findlay : I think I interfered enough already!

• Walter Findlay : [Referring to a vasectomy]  Tell me something. What's it like after...

  Dr. Arthur Harmon : After the snip, snip?

  Walter Findlay : [Cringing]  After the snip, snip.

  Dr. Arthur Harmon : Nothing, except you can't make babies. That's all.

  Walter Findlay : And that's it?

  Dr. Arthur Harmon : That's it.

  Walter Findlay : I don't change into a soprano, do I?

• Maude Findlay : Listen, honey, would you like a pickle?

  Walter Findlay : No, thanks.

  Maude Findlay : They probably go better with pregnancies than with vasectomies.