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"Maude" Maude's Dilemma: Part 2 (TV Episode 1972) Poster

(TV Series)

(1972)

Quotes

Maude Findlay: I keep forgetting. Is black coffee good or bad for a woman in my condition?

Carol Traynor: Well, it keeps you awake.

Maude Findlay: Bad. That's what GOT me in this condition.

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Carol Traynor: Mother, you don't have to have the baby. I told you before there's no reason to feel guilty and there's certainly no reason to be afraid.

[Maude doesn't reply]

Carol Traynor: [Frustrated] You're like talking to a stone wall!

Maude Findlay: A PREGNANT stone wall!

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Maude Findlay: [to Carol, about Walter] Last night, in his sleep, he said Maude, I want to have this baby.

Carol Traynor: [With a sigh of relief] Well why didn't you tell me that before?

Maude Findlay: Because it's not true. Look, Carol, I just want to get you OFF MY BACK!

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Dr. Arthur Harmon: Just between you and me Walter, I don't know why Maude wants to have the baby at all. At her age you know there are certain risks.

Walter Findlay: Well don't underestimate the maternal instinct, Arthur. Besides, she might also be fighting the idea of abortion on moral grounds.

Dr. Arthur Harmon: And you don't want to interfere?

Walter Findlay: I think I interfered enough already!

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Walter Findlay: [Referring to a vasectomy] Tell me something. What's it like after...

Dr. Arthur Harmon: After the snip, snip?

Walter Findlay: [Cringing] After the snip, snip.

Dr. Arthur Harmon: Nothing, except you can't make babies. That's all.

Walter Findlay: And that's it?

Dr. Arthur Harmon: That's it.

Walter Findlay: I don't change into a Soprano, do I?

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Maude Findlay: Listen honey, would you like a pickle?

Walter Findlay: No, thanks.

Maude Findlay: They probably go better with pregnancies than with vasectomies.

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Walter Findlay: [to Maude] Sweetheart, would it disappoint you too much to learn that becoming a father was never one of my life's ambitions? I- I don't know why. For years I used to feel guilty about it. For years people told me I was nuts or too selfish. How can I not love kids? Well I do love kids, but they don't have to be mine. That's probably the worst confession I'll ever make. Do ya hate me?

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Walter Findlay: Maude. I think it would be wrong to have a child at our age.

Maude Findlay: [Tearing up] Oh, so do I Walter.

[Hugging him]

Maude Findlay: Oh, so do I.

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Maude Findlay: Just tell me Walter that I'm doing the right thing not having the baby.

Walter Findlay: For you Maude. For me. In the privacy of our own lives. You're doing the right thing.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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