Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Agony and the Extra C (1996)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  [Bud sees the corrected tattoo] 

  Bud Bundy : "I love MarTy"? So... I guess you're here to have that removed, huh?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : That, and the other thing.

  Kelly Bundy : What other thing?

  [an X-ray reveals Marcy's boot jammed up Jefferson's rectum] 

• Jefferson D'Arcy : So, the tattoo on my butt said M-A-R-Y.

  Kelly Bundy : So what? M-A-R-Y. Marcy.

  Bud Bundy : There's a C in Marcy.

  Kelly Bundy : M-A-R-Y-C? Oh yeah, the C is silent.

• [first lines] 

  Doctor #1 : Bad news Mr. D'Arcy. I'm afraid we are going to have to operate.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Oh, no.

  Doctor #1 : You do have insurance?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Yes, of course.

  Doctor #1 : Then we will be using anesthesia.

• Iqbal : Mr. D'Arcy, shall I continues to charge the lap dances on your wife's credit card?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Sure, Iqbal. After all, it's her anniversary too.

• Al Bundy : Jefferson, we are all taking you out today to celebrate your wedding anniversary since you don't work.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : So, how come you guys are not at work?

  Al Bundy , Griff , Bob Rooney , Ike : We're sick.

  Officer Dan : Except for me. I'm working.

  Police Dispatcher : All units, all units, report to city hall. The mayor has been taken hostage by a group of...

  Officer Dan : [turns off his radio]  Blah, blah, blah, shut up!

• Al Bundy : [Attempting to persuade Jefferson to accompany NO MA'AM to the Jiggly Room on the D'Arcys' anniversary]  Come on, Jefferson! It's just us, some liquor, and some Mexican strippers! What could happen?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Hey, ya put it that way, OK!

• Al Bundy : Jefferson, you asked me to remind you when it's five o'clock so you can leave here before Marcy gets home.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Sure, Al. When is it?

  Al Bundy : It was about a half-hour ago.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [throwing off a lap dancer sitting on his lap]  Oh, no! I've got to get home!

  Lap Dancer : I was about to take you there.

• [Jefferson turns and drops his pants for the guys to see his new tattoo] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Well? What do you guys think?

  Bob Rooney : [after a short pause]  I don't know. I think he left out the letter C.

  Al Bundy : Shut up!

  [to Jefferson; beat] 

  Al Bundy : Jefferson, I hate to say this... you may be married to Marcy. But your ass says "I Love Mary."