Justice League (TV Series)

Wild Cards: Part II (2003)

Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn, Dr. Harleen Quinzel

Quotes 

• Batman : Harley, where's Joker?

  Harley Quinn : After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mr. J?

  Batman : Why not? He gave you up.

  Harley Quinn : That was a long time ago. He's changed. We've been to couples counseling.

  Batman : I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show?

• The Joker : It's only a matter of time now, a few more minutes and millions of people are going to go...

  [flips his lips] 

  The Joker : "b-b-b-b-b-b-b." and it's all because of you

  [Leans close to Ace] 

  The Joker : . The best sidekick a homicidal maniac ever had.

  Harley Quinn : [offscreen]  What about me?

  The Joker : Harley!

  Harley Quinn : [Camera pans to reveal Harley Quinn standing in the nearby doorway, who then advances on The Joker]  Yeah, Harley, you worthless two timing piece...

  The Joker : Wait! Wait. We can't let everything we have be ruined by a silly misunderstanding.

  Harley Quinn : And what is it that I'm not understanding?

  The Joker : That we're two of a kind, that you'll always come back to me.

  Harley Quinn : Yeah, I guess I do, don't I? But...

  The Joker : Like the swallows in Capistrano, and there's one other thing you're not getting.

  Harley Quinn : What?

  The Joker : That you led Batman right to my doorstep!

  [Backhands her] 

  Harley Quinn : Uh!

  [She staggers backwards through a blackboard and to the floor, out cold] 

  The Joker : Tough love. Very effective, don't you think so, Batman? Yoo-hoo! Batman! I know you're here s-

  [Batman punches him in the face from offscreen, knocking him onto his back] 

  The Joker : Oh!

  [Gets up as Batman approaches] 

  The Joker : Oh, there you are. Acey, why don't you give him a piece of your mind?

  [Ace looks to Batman and starts to use her perception altering powers on him] 

• Batman : [trying to convince Harley that Joker has abandoned her]  You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders.

  Harley Quinn : You mean Ace? She's just a kid.

  Batman : Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold?

  The Joker : [watching her slug him]  Have to admit, didn't see that one coming.

  [checking his watch] 

  The Joker : Ooh, look at the time! We don't want to miss the big finish.