Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
Elliott the Geek (1998)
Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo
Quotes
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Dennis : Good morning. Hmm, tension in the air. Let me guess: Mr. Love Machine here was going yappity-wappity about getting it on with the ladies. And Mother Superior was all, "What a pig!" And you were all, "But me likie them women." And you were all, "Boo-hoo-hoo! What about our brains?"
Maya : Finch, do you want to get smacked?
Dennis : Kinda. I'm not proud of it.
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[Elliot has a zit on his nose]
Maya : Whoa, Krakatoa!
Elliot : It's just a little blemish.
Jack : It's like an escape hatch for your brain.
Nina : [just coming in] So sorry about your pimple, Elliot.
Elliot : How did you know?
Nina : I saw it as you got out of the cab. I mean, we're only nineteen floors up.
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Maya : Who was Mr. Farrel?
Elliot : He was my high school coach. We used to call him Farrel the Ferret.
Maya : Why did you call him that?
Elliot : You know, because he was a big man.
Maya : Why didn't you call him Farrel the Barrel?
Elliot : People weren't that clever in my town. When the train went by, everyone would clap.
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Jack : Maya, what's more important to a bird? That it has wings or that it has the confidence to fly?
Maya : Uh... Wings?
Jack : Wrong. Witness the penguin, a flightless bird. Do you know why penguins can't fly?
Maya : Because its wings can't support its body mass?
Jack : Maya, there was a time when penguins filled the sky, until the day their confidence was shattered, and they never flew again.
Maya : Ah, I see.
[takes away scotch bottle]
Maya : No more for you.
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Maya : Don't worry about it. I mean, everyone's yearbook photo is a little embarra... Oh, my God! You were a little fatty.
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Maya : So, the truth finally comes out. The legendary Elliot DiMauro was once a nerd.
Elliot : No, I wasn't.
Maya : Nerd!
Elliot : Ha, that's very funny.
Maya : Nerd!
Elliot : That's not funny.
Maya : Nerd!
Elliot : Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Would a nerd bring a supermodel to a funeral in a stretch limo with four-hundred roses shaped in a giant tear?
Maya : No, but the nerd king might.