Father Ted (TV Series)

Rock a Hula Ted (1996)

Dermot Morgan: Father Ted Crilly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Father Ted Crilly : He goes mad if I'm a minute late.

  [Father Jack is reading a newspaper called "Drink"] 

  Father Ted Crilly : Father Jack, your afternoon drink.

  [Jack lowers his newspaper and is even more hairy than ever, with very long frizzy hair and a very long beard] 

  Father Ted Crilly : You know you really should get a haircut. You don't want to go too far down that "Bob Geldolf" road.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Oh Ted, that's a baaaad road.

  Father Ted Crilly : It is indeed, Dougal. And once you've gone down it, there's no coming back, as Bob himself would tell you. Ha ha ha.

  [Father Jack hits Ted on the head with his walking stick] 

• Father Ted Crilly : Can't you have last year's winner do it?

  Father Liam Deliverance : No, she lost her title. She was in a fillum called "Stallion Farm". Apparently it was quite rude.

• Father Ted Crilly : [as the Lovely Girls parade up and down the catwalk]  Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom?

  Father Liam Deliverance : Careful there, Ted. That might offend the girls.

  Father Ted Crilly : [off mic]  Right, Liam.

  [Announces over microphone] 

  Father Ted Crilly : Of course, they all have lovely bottoms!

  [Ted turns to Liam, who smiles and gives Ted a thumbs up] 

• Father Ted Crilly : Alright, this is a long shot, but it's our only hope. I'm going to leave this paper and pencil here, and hopefully in the morning, God will have written down what we should do. OK?

  Father Dougal McGuire : That IS a long shot.