The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

The Ghost of General Lee (1979)

James Best: Sheriff Rosco Coltrane

Quotes 

• Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [on his radio]  This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, I want you to get an ambulance and a wrecker out to Old River Road.

  [voice breaking] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : The Duke boys done gone in the pond.

  Enos : [surfaces with Bo and Luke's clothes, anxious]  Luke's britches, Bo's shirt. Can you help me find them, Sheriff? Help me, Sheriff!

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [horrified]  I can't Enos. I can't swim!

  [Enos starts crying] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Damn Duke boys! Why'd they have to do that?

• Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Jesse, I don't know how to tell this to you easy, but I was chasing Bo and Luke in the General Lee and they uh, they done run off the road into the pond.

  Uncle Jesse : [laughs proudly]  That's them.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : They didn't come up.

  [Jesse's smile drops, Cooter and Daisy are devastated, Jesse turns away] 

  Cooter : You gotta be wrong, Rosco! You gotta be wrong!

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : I wish I was, Cooter, I really wish I was. Jesse, I, I chased the boys a lot you know they, when they messed up a little, but they seemed to enjoy that, I think sometimes I did too. But you gotta believe that, was never anything personal.

• Luke Duke : [Rosco finds the General Lee glowing bright red, hears Luke's ghostly voice]  Come on, Rosco, get in, we'll drive you all the way to the pearly gates.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : No! No!

  Luke Duke : [on the car floor, into radio]  That is if they still let you in after what you done to us.

  [laughs sinisterly] 

  Bo Duke : [on the floor]  How's old Rosco look now?

  Luke Duke : [looking through makeshift periscope]  Like a canceled stamp. This luminous paint works like a charm.

  [into radio] 

  Luke Duke : You framed us, Rosco! We' gonna get you, Rosco! We ain't gonna let you rest! ROOOOSCO!

• Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [hearing Luke's voice in his office]  Somebody's playing tricks.

  Luke Duke : It's me, Rosco, Luke Duke, calling from beyond the grave.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : There ain't no such thing as ghosts. Is it?

  Luke Duke : Rosssscoooo.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Somebody just uh, playing tricks here, and being disrespectful of the dead and I just, I'm...

  Luke Duke : You *framed* us, Rosco!

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : I didn't frame nobody.

  Luke Duke : Look down in the sheriff's impound.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : I ain't gonna look down in nothing.

  Luke Duke : See for yourself!

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : What's down there?

  Luke Duke : Come on, Rosco.

• Enos : A double order of catfish, hush puppies, extra coleslaw, pickles and onions, large order of fries, extra thick chocolate milk and two slices of pecan pie. Is that right?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : That's right. And get yourself something, Enos.

  Enos : You want your pie a la mode?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : No, Enos, I don't want it a la mode. I gotta watch my calories!