The Critic (TV Series)

Sherman of Arabia (1995)

Jon Lovitz: Jay Sherman

Quotes 

• Jay Sherman : [telling his story to children]  Things never looked worse. There I was - with my head stuck in a honey pot.

  Alice Tompkins : I thought you were stuck in an Iraqi prison?

  Jay Sherman : Eh, hah! Yes, of course, how could a grown man get his head stuck in a honey pot?

  [overturns a picture of him with his head trapped in a honneypot just like Winnie the Pooh] 

• [a captive in Iraq, Jay is being forced to recite propaganda on Iraqi TV] 

  Captain Raheem : You will speak the blasphemous and self-denigrating dialogue that has been written for you!

  Jay Sherman : Like I'm not used to that.

  Captain Raheem : [handing him a paper]  Read this!

  Jay Sherman : There's going to be a really bitching kegger tonight at Captain Raheem's tent!

  Captain Raheem : That's mine. Read this!

  Jay Sherman : Dear Urkel: you are so funny. Can you come to my birthday party? Your friend, Captain Raheem.

  Captain Raheem : Give me that!

  Jay Sherman : Single Arabic captain wishes to meet non-Kurdish woman. I like puppies, Kenny G, and walks on the beach. Whoo-hoo! Kenny G.

  [Captain Raheem grabs Jay by the throat, shouting in Arabic]