"Blackadder" The Archbishop (TV Episode 1983) - Rowan Atkinson as Edmund, Archbishop of Canterbury

Prince Edmund : Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?

Baldrick : I dunno, my lord. But it can't have been worse than what they used to do to each other.
Prince Edmund : [reads stronger curse] Dear Enemy, may the lord hate you and all your kind. May you turn orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment.
Prince Edmund : [reading a curse] Dear Enemy, I curse you and hope something slightly unpleasant happens to you. Like an onion falling on your head.
Prince Edmund : You see, the thing about heaven is that heaven is for people who like the sort of things that go on in heaven. Like, well, singing, talking to God, watering pot plants.
Prince Edmund : Yes, almost as tragic as Archbishop Bertum being struck by a falling gargoyle while swimming off Beachy Head.

Harry : Quite, quite. And nearly as tragic as poor old Archbishop Wilfred slipping and falling backward onto the spire of Norwich Castle. Oh, Lord, you do work in mysterious ways.
Prince Edmund : [confessing] I have coveted my father's adultery and not honored my neighbor's ass.
Prince Edmund : [after hearing the possible money-making schemes of being archbishop] Selling the sexual favours of Nuns? Some people actually pay for them?

Baldrick : Foreign business men, other nuns, yes.
Prince Edmund : [they are discussing pardons to be sold by the Church] And who's that one signed by?

Baldrick : Eh, both Popes.

[hinting that it is fake]

Rowan Atkinson: Edmund, Archbishop of Canterbury