Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)
The Man Who Killed Batman (1993)
Mark Hamill: The Joker
Quotes
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The Joker : [sadly] Without Batman, crime has no punchline...
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[Batman's eulogy, by the Joker]
The Joker : Dear friends... today is the day the Clown cried. And he cries not for the passing of one man, but for the death of a dream. The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy. For it was the Batman who made me the happy soul I am today. How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that. Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face. Or an exploding whoopie-cushion playfully planted in the Batmobile.
[Anger starts to creep into his tone as he looks at Sidney; everyone moves away from Sid quickly]
The Joker : But those dreams were dashed by the weaselly little gunsel sitting there in our midst. The cowardly insignificant gonif who probably got lucky when Batman slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. This mound of diseased hyena filth who's not fit to lick the dirt from my spats...!
[regains composure]
The Joker : But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look to a future filled with smiles. And I'll be smiling again just as soon as we take that man THERE...
[points to Sid]
The Joker : ...and slap him in that box THERE...
[points to Batman's coffin]
The Joker : ...and roll him into that vat of acid THERE!
[points to said vat of acid]
Sidney Debris : No! No! I never meant to do it!
[the Joker's henchmen grab him and stuff him into the coffin]
Sidney Debris : Help! This isn't funny anymore!
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[the Joker raids a jewelry shop, and waits for Batman to appear. Ages later, a number of policemen show up, but no Knight in sight...]
The Joker : WHERE IS HE? He's never been late! There's a certain rhythm to these things: I make trouble, he shows up, we have a few laughs and the game starts all over again!
[glowers at Sid]
The Joker : Only now, thanks to YOU... I have this terrible feeling that he's really not coming.
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The Joker : You know, there's just one thing bothering me about your story, Sidney. No body. No Batus delecti, if you will. We need to pull a job tonight to be sure.
Murphy : Be sure of what, boss?
The Joker : [doing a double-take at Murphy] Why that old Batsy's bought the cave, of course. And one more thing, Murphy... don't ask stupid questions.
[Joker pushes Murphy into the midst of Harley Quinn's two hyenas, who claw off his shirt and lick him silly]
Harley Quinn : I'll get the mop.
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[after locking Sid in a coffin and dropping the coffin into a vat of acid]
The Joker : Well, that was fun! Now, who's for Chinese?
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Harley Quinn : [covered in jewels] Whheee! Look at all the pretties!
The Joker : Put them back, Harley.
Harley Quinn : Awww, you're such a kidder, Mr J. You never could...
The Joker : [grabbing Harley in a chokehold] I said put them back!
[tosses her across the room]
Harley Quinn : [shocked] S-s-sure, boss. I can do that. This is me putting them back. No problemo...
