Barney Miller (TV Series)
Landmark: Part 1 (1982)
Max Gail: Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz
Photos
Quotes
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Victoria Hoffline : Excuse me, I'm Victoria Hoffline, State Division for Historic Preservation. We were contacted by Doctor Traven of the Greenwich Museum regarding an article you found in your basement.
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh, right, yeah, we found this old gun
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, I found it.
Victoria Hoffline : Uh, well, we have done some further research on that, and do you happen to know who that gun belong to
Capt. Barney Miller : No, I don't
Victoria Hoffline : Name someone who belonged to the police force and but then later became very famous
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh... Laguardia.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Good answer... Good answer.
Victoria Hoffline : Theodore Roosevelt and as I'm sure your know, Mr. Roosevelt was the head of the New York Police Board from 1895-97.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, Right
Victoria Hoffline : Well, this building was its headquarters, and from our research , we think that your office just may have been Mr. Roosevelt's.
Capt. Barney Miller : Really...?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Bully for you.
Victoria Hoffline : Now if this building meets the basic architectural requirements, we can recommend it for its inclusion in the National Register for Historic Places
Capt. Barney Miller : Hey, how about that ?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Does that mean Sears will paint it ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Captain , may I look around some more?
Capt. Barney Miller : Please... Please.
Victoria Hoffline : Thank you
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Alright, just step inside.
Howard Spangler : I know... I know the procedure
Capt. Barney Miller : What do we got here?
Howard Spangler : My name is Howard Spangler, and I am an American Citizen.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : He is.
Howard Spangler : We picked him up in his apartment. He attacked some cleaning people in the hallway and then he locked himself in the closet.
Howard Spangler : They started speaking Spanish, giving me orders. "Anda, Anda". I don't have to take that anymore.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Take it easy, Mr. Spangler.
Howard Spangler : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's only a short time since I have been released
Capt. Barney Miller : Mental Patient
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Hostage
Howard Spangler : No, No, I wasn't one of the fabulous 52. I was the one you never read about.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Mr Spangler was an executive with an American company in South America who was kidnapped by a rebel group in '79.
Howard Spangler : Eighteen months, I lived a nightmare. Chained up in filthy huts, dragged up and down the mountainside like excess baggage. Eating with East Germans.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : They let him go last December.
Howard Spangler : You know, those guys from Iran, they got a ticker-tape parade, and a handshake from the President. I got back at 2 AM on a charter flight and show up for work the next day.
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr Spangler... I
Howard Spangler : I wasn't on Nightline once ! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've had some... I've had some time difficulty adjusting to thing. I sometimes get these kind of flashbacks. I guess, that's what happened to me this morning.
Capt. Barney Miller : I'm afraid, I'm going to have to hold you temporarily.
Howard Spangler : Just like old times.
Capt. Barney Miller : As soon as you give some information to Sergeant Wojciehowicz. You can make some phone calls.
Howard Spangler : I'd like to arrange ransom
Capt. Barney Miller : It's "bail"
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Uh, have a seat Mr. Spangler. I'll be with you in a minute.
Howard Spangler : Yeah. Oh, you don't have to tie me up. I'm not going anywhere.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Then we won't
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Howard Spangler : Oh, I remember every Sunday, they use to wake me up... . and tell me it was time to pay for my crimes and then take me out to a mock execution.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : That must have been pretty bad
Howard Spangler : Yeah, although, after a while, it became sort of like -- a running gag. I mean, they stand me against a tree, and Javier would blindfold me, give me a Cuban cigar, and Felippe would stick a gun at my head. He'd pull the trigger and he'd say, " Bang ! , Bang !, your not dead" Oh, those guys. I guess you had to be there.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I'm gonna put you in the cage now Mr. Spangler
Howard Spangler : This is a big one.
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Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, Mr Norrell, I think there been some misunderstanding here.
Jack Norrell : This place is going to be a landmark?
Capt. Barney Miller : So?
Jack Norrell : So. Anybody who buys it and puts it back in its original condition gets a 25 % tax credit.
Capt. Barney Miller : Well that may be. But this is, uh...
Jack Norrell : You know, this place may make great... dental offices, You know, 1890's style. Of course, it's going to take a lot of work you understand.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : This building is not for sale
Jack Norrell : Oh, do you own it.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : No, not exactly.
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Norrell, the city has no intention of selling this building.
Jack Norrell : You don't mind if I just look around, do you ? Yeah, we can just rip out this bathroom... and put in a bathroom.
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Can I help you ?
Christopher Galt : Christopher Galt, Lemming-Richards Company.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : You here to see Mr. Spangler ?
Christopher Galt : Yes, may I talk to him please ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, sure, go ahead .
Christopher Galt : Howard ?
Howard Spangler : Oh, it's you.
Christopher Galt : I heard what happened.
Howard Spangler : I'm sure you didn't waste anytime spreading it around the office. "Spangler's gone bananas again".
Christopher Galt : Howard, please.
Howard Spangler : You don't miss a trick, do you, Mr. New-Vice-President of International Marketing ?
Christopher Galt : Look, Howard, I told you before, you were kidnapped, they asked me to find some stamps in your desk and one thing led to another then I had your job.
Howard Spangler : You don't think I really care, do you ?
Christopher Galt : Anyway, bail is being arranged downstairs right now, the company is taking care of it.
Howard Spangler : Well, that's a change
Christopher Galt : Look, you know we wanted to pay the ransom, but their government wouldn't let us...
Howard Spangler : Or maybe you were just afraid that it might hurt the quarterly profit statement... cut into the stockholder's dividend that you suck from other people's sweat and toil.
Christopher Galt : Look Howard, we all know you have been through a harrowing experience and our only concern is your well-being and getting you back up to snuff. But, I must tell you that some of your recent actions have been a bit disconcerting
Howard Spangler : What are you talking about ?
Christopher Galt : Well this memo, for example, that you sent to the sales department yesterday. "From the Desk of Howard Spangler, To the Imperialist Pigs that sit on the backs of Workers"
Howard Spangler : So ?
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Officer Carl Levitt : Alright, Mr. Spangler you're being released on bail. Failure to appear in court on the date specified will result in forfeiture of bail and a felony warrant for your arrest.
Howard Spangler : What ?
Officer Carl Levitt : You can go.
Howard Spangler : Oh, no, no, thank you.
Officer Carl Levitt : I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.
Howard Spangler : Well, I am not leaving.
Officer Carl Levitt : Hey we need this space... Will you get down from there ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Uh, Levitt, What's going on ?
Officer Carl Levitt : He won't get down.
Christopher Galt : Howard, we can get back to the office and talk to Dr. Hobbes.
Howard Spangler : No, you're not getting me back to that miserable office. That tiny little cubicle with no window or no air. I got rights !
Howard Spangler : Mr. Spangler, we can get you a ride home.
Howard Spangler : I don't want to go home.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Where do you want to go ?
Howard Spangler : I want to go back ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Back where ?
Howard Spangler : Back There !
Christopher Galt : Total personality collapse
Howard Spangler : That's right Galt. I got to be crazy, right? I got to be crazy to want to back to people who imprison me ! Who made me sleep on dirt floors and eat rotten food. Made me walk for miles in the pouring rain and the burning sun, just like they did.
Christopher Galt : Excuse me .
Howard Spangler : That's right Galt ! Get out of here ! Go crawling back to the big bosses who feed off the flesh of the peasants .
Christopher Galt : I am late for a meeting
Howard Spangler : But you're not taking me with you ! Not Howard Spangler !
Capt. Barney Miller : All right, you want to get down from there ?
Howard Spangler : No ! I found out something down there. People can make a difference. Nothing's impossible. The longest journey begins with a single step !
Capt. Barney Miller : Alright Mr Spangler.
Howard Spangler : When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I want a plane out of here tonight !
Capt. Barney Miller : Look
Howard Spangler : Julio get there guns !
Julio Rodriguez : I don't think so.
Howard Spangler : All right, forget it ! I don't need you. Don't you understand ? Those people had something down there... I never had. Commitment. A belief -- belief in something so strong they were willing to fight for it. They were willing to die for it. I was apart of that !
Capt. Barney Miller : Those people are going to keep fighting for what they believe in whether your there or not.
Howard Spangler : No they won't
Capt. Barney Miller : Why not ?
Howard Spangler : Because they won !
Capt. Barney Miller : Huh ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : They did ?
Howard Spangler : Three weeks after I was let go, they conquered the capital and overthrew the Junta. So now, Javier, Felipe and all the rest of them are roasting pigs in the Presidential Palace, while Mr. Lucky is stuck back here! But, I - I carried my share of the load sport. I - I did my part. I broke my back for those people. And what did I get for it ? A one-way ticket home without so much as a thank you ! It's not fair ! It's not fair !
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Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Spangler
Howard Spangler : I -- I'd like to sit down.
Capt. Barney Miller : Go right ahead. You can leave whenever you want to.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : We'll leave the door open.
Howard Spangler : Thanks.
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Capt. Barney Miller : Yes, Miss Hoffline, I'm afraid there's a bit of a misunderstanding here.
Victoria Hoffline : Oh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr Norrell seems to thinks that this building is for sale.
Jack Norrell : It is... right?
Victoria Hoffline : Yes
Capt. Barney Miller : I' m afraid that the decision doesn't rest with Miss Hoffline. This building happens to be under the jurisdiction of the Department of General Services.
Victoria Hoffline : I know, I already talked to them . And they said I could show it to Mr. Norrell.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh... Wojo. Get me someone down at General Services. We'll straighten this out right away. It's obviously a mix-up... Because this precinct, these men perform a vital service to this community The city is not about to sell us out for a quick buck.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, just a second. It's a Mr. McGreavy
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. McGreavy. Yes, Mr. McGreavy, Captain Miller 12th precinct. Yes, we are having a bit of a problem here and I am hoping you can help us with it. We have some people here, who are under the impression that this building is for sale... Yes, well, I already told them that's not the case... that the city is certainly not foolish enough to dismantle an essential... No, he hasn't made an offer yet... Yeah, I'll tell him... Your welcome... Mr. McGreavy said he is looking forward from hearing from you
Jack Norrell : Thank you
Victoria Hoffline : And Captain, you have a nice day