American Dad! (TV Series)

Bullocks to Stan (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stanley Smith : [to Hayley]  What the heII do you think you're doing?

  Hayley Smith : Avery caIIed to apoIogise for what he said. We met for coffee and, weII, I know it's crazy, but I Iike him. He chaIIenges me, and he has a huge...

  Stanley Smith : Penis! I mean, HayIey. Damn, I was trying to cut you off before...

  Hayley Smith : I was gonna say ''heart'', but, weII, you shined his shoes.

• Hayley Smith : [after Bullock has maimed Jeff]  Dad, do something!

  Stanley Smith : [to the waitress]  So what, exactly is a frittata?

  Hayley Smith : Dad!

  Stanley Smith : Hey, I'm hungry. This guy rode me like an animal for three hours! Do you have any idea what that's like?

  [Hayley gives him a look] 

  Stanley Smith : And now I'm not hungry.

• Hayley Smith : If the whoIe CIA is at this carnivaI, who's out there undermining democracy?

  Stanley Smith : The FBI pulls a double shift.

• Stanley Smith : [after swallowing a self-destructing letter]  I'm pooping blood tonight.

• Francine Smith : HonestIy, Stan, what does HayIey have to do with you getting a promotion? It shouId be enough you're good at your job.

  Stanley Smith : Yeah, it shouId, but we don't Iive in ShouIdIand. Ah, ShouIdIand, where cIean-cut kids cruise ShouIdIand BouIevard, and the ShouIdIand High team gets their asses kicked by their cross-town rivaI, ReaIity-Check Tech.

• Stanley Smith : [to Roger after he makes a napkin]  What the hell is this?

  Roger : Metrosexual soccer icon, David Beckham. I can't do swans. I don't know why.

• Stanley Smith : I'm this cIose to a promotion and our darIing Squeaky Fromme decides to assassinate my career.

• Stanley Smith : I got the promotion, Francine!

  Francine Smith : Yes, but you Iost my respect. You're not the man I married.

  Stanley Smith : You're not the man I married.

  Francine Smith : That makes no sense.

  Stanley Smith : It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!

• Bullock : [to Stan]  You'II get your promotion, just as soon as you do one Iast thing for me.

  Stanley Smith : I've picked up your Iaundry, I've poIished your shoes, I've done everything but bend over backwards, and my daughter did that. What eIse couId you possibIy want me to do?