All in the Family (TV Series)

Edith's 50th Birthday: Part 1 (1977)

Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Edith : Do you know how old I am today?

  Archie : Yeah, you're 50. I got a very romantic way of remembering that: you are as old as Lindburgh's airplane.

• Archie : [about Mike and Gloria]  Edith, why do them two always gotta be over here? I can't stand to look at them.

  Edith : What are you going to do today, Archie?

  Archie : I'm going over to their house.

• Archie : Hey, little girl, does your fish ever so often come out of water and lay on a rock?

  Gloria : No.

  Archie : Then he's dead.

  Gloria : [crying]  Mr. Jaws died.

• Archie Bunker : Everything's fine, Officers. Everything is just peaches and beans.

• Sybil Gooley : He never liked me.

  Archie Bunker : And I always will.

• Edith : Don't you know what today is?

  Archie : Oh, my goodness, how time has flew. Today is the first day of National Spay the Cat Week.

• Mike Stivic : [Joey's goldfish died in the punch bowl]  Arch, this thing stinks. Can't you go home and get your bowl?

  [Archie and Mike push the bowl towards one another, causing it to fall to the ground and break] 

  Mike Stivic , Archie Bunker : Why did you do that? You did it. You did it! YOU did it! YOU DID IT!

  Archie Bunker : Get away from me, you Meathead you! Now I gotta go home and make up some excuse to get my OWN punch bowl from my OWN house.

  Mike Stivic , Archie Bunker : Dope.

• Gloria Stivic : No, no, no, don't you see, she expects me to wish her a happy birthday because it's something that I always do. But it's something you never do so she doesn't expect it from you. But if I don't say anything, when she expects me to say something, because you don't want me to, then she's gonna know something is up because I haven't said anything when I should have. And if you say something, which I don't want you to do, when you're supposed to and you shouldn't have

  [Archie turns up to look at her, says nothing, but stares at her in total confusion] 

  Gloria Stivic : then Ma's gonna know something is up because you said something. Don't you see? Don't you understand?

  Archie Bunker : You get more like the old lady every day.

• Gloria Stivic : Don't forget to bring your punchbowl.

  Archie : Waaaaait a minute, wait a minute, wait - you got a punchbowl of your own, I got one for your anniversary. Set me back $11!

  Mike Stivic : Yeah, uh... we used it for Joey's goldfish.

  Archie : [incredulous]  For a goldfish? You got a 10-cent fish livin' in an $11 bowl? That's like YOU, livin' at the Waldorf.

  Mike Stivic : [angrily]  Lemme tell you something...

  Archie : All right, hurry up.

  Mike Stivic : Why must you always...

  Archie : I CAN'T WAIT.

  [slams the door in Meathead's face, walks away]