L'homme de sa vie (2006) User Reviews

lyrical exploration of the human heart

[Buddy-51 · 8/10 · 27 June 2009]

Set in the stunningly beautiful Provencal region of France, "The Man of My life" looks at how both passion and responsibility play an equally crucial role in defining who we are and how we love.

Frederic (Bernard Campan) and Frederique (Lea Drucker) are a happily married couple who enjoy entertaining large groups of people at the country home where they vacation. One day, Frederic invites their next door neighbor, a single gay man by the name of Hugo (Charles Berling), over for a get-together with family and friends. Soon, Frederic and Hugo have struck up a friendship largely centered on their mutual addiction to running and their propensity to talk the night away over such weighty matters as love, passion, responsibility, freedom, commitment and marriage. Hugo tries to convince Frederic that his role as dutiful husband and father has robbed him of his individuality and earlier lust for life, while Hugo, spurned by his father at a young age, comes to his own understanding of the importance of family by the end. There's an obvious sexual attraction between the two men, but the movie goes far beyond the typical coming-out drama to explore romantic passion in all its myriad complexities and forms.

Frederic is torn between the desire to continue loving the wife who so obviously loves him and who has provided a stable home for him and their children - and this new found feeling for Hugo that he can, in no way, shape or form, even begin to understand. The movie never feels the need to judge any of the characters; it presents them simply as well-meaning but flawed human beings who struggle on a daily basis, as all of us do, with an array of emotions, needs and desires that continually come into conflict with one another.

The screenplay by Zabou Breitman and Agnes de Sacy employs long, winding conversations to reveal the truths about the characters and the relationships that help to define them. Moreover, the sensuous, bucolic setting, far from being a mere backdrop to the foreground action, actually serves to pull us into the lives of these people as they while away a languid summer swimming, hiking and exploring the inner workings of their own roiled psyches.

In his direction, Breitman has come up with interesting, slightly abstract ways of filming the commonplace details of everyday life, utilizing extreme close-ups, distorted angles, catawampus framing and mosaic-style storytelling to impart a lyrical tone to the film.

Superb performances by the three leading players also add greatly to the emotional richness of the piece.

With a great deal of insight and tenderness, "The Man of My Life" presents us with a subtly provocative, beautifully realized and psychologically complex view of the human heart.

A Unique Subject, a Unique Point of View

[avnerkam · 8/10 · 16 February 2008]

A lovely film about a somewhat-romantic friendship between a straight married man and a gay single guy. An interesting note is that this story was written and directed by a woman, Zabou Breitman. The dynamics between the men, more subtle and conversational than physical, allow us to learn more than if the issue of sex was raised quickly. The romance is not about sexual attraction, but the role people play in he life of the other that bring forth emotions. This is a rich film, combining philosophy with sensuality, whimsy with beauty. While the pace is slow, there are twists along the way, beautiful cinematography, humorous bursts and many believable characters to keep us interested. Well worth viewing.

Lyrical and lovely

[scottinhawaii-1 · 8/10 · 5 October 2019]

I keep forgetting name of this movie and I describe it as the French movie with the two guys talking all night and the sheer drapes flowing in the wind. I found it to be one of the best gay movies ever. It's honest and deeper than most. It's also very French. Which is fine by me. But it won't be for everyone. A couple of years after watching it I choose it again thinking it was something I hadn't seen. A few minutes in I realized I had and watched it all over again.

Beautiful and engaging

[Gordon-11 · 16 November 2007]

This film is about a married man developing romantic feelings with a charming gay neighbour.

The plot is simple but special. It is striking that the plot blurs the distinction between homosexuality and heterosexuality. The main character, Frédéric, is heterosexual but develops feelings for a man. Hugo, on the other hand, is homosexual but is revealed to have a child. It's a good way to say that love has no boundaries.

The way Frédéric develops feelings for Hugo is beautiful. The gradual disintegration of Frédéric's marriage is portrayed well, and Frédérique's desperation in the end of the film is palpable. This film is beautiful and engaging. It deserves to be viewed by more people.

Playful camera, beautiful cinematography and great editing combine to make this a superb film

[rasecz · 9/10 · 30 September 2007]

Summer somewhere in France. A couple and their young son invite family and friends to enjoy a warm rural holiday at their old but comfortable summer house. A neighbor, a middle-aged single man, is invited to join the first night's outdoor party. It is quickly revealed that the man is gay. He and the husband start a tentative friendship. How far will it go?

Beyond the apparently simple plot line, what struck me about this film were the visual aspects. A playful camera delights us with unconventional angles, framing, superpositions and transitions. Combining beautiful cinematography and great editing, the end result is a superb film. The tango music is icing on the cake.

Dreamy light drama that lingers...A rare gem

[sineadfac · 10/10 · 27 December 2007]

Zabou Breitman is a director/writer to watch notwithstanding her acting portfolio. If she was in Hollywood, she would be labeled a "triple threat", hailed as a maverick and given suitable coverage for her latest work.

Though I've never been, watching this feels like you're going to have a pleasant, peaceful, summer vacation with your family and friends in southern France in the splendor of nature, comfy dwelling, great food and wine. What could possibly be missing or wrong, right? The French complex and complicated as they are, seemed not content with the ideal life and would simply want to crack things up because they're so bored with it. I take that back. In fact, the setting could happen anywhere and still be applicable and effective. Which makes this even more universally appealing to adults experiencing perhaps; midlife crisis?

The story is really simple and almost no plot at all and it could have been really boring going back to the same scenes from a different perspective. But at two hours, I hardly noticed it at all. In fact, I wish it was longer. Breitman is a keen observer. She injects subtle slice of life sparsely spaced at right moments. It's like watching a painter at work with every restrained stroke of her brush as she finishes her masterpiece.

The charming Charles Berling is perfect for the role of Hugo, a solitary new neighbor. He is also unabashedly, though masculine acting, gay. He announces this to the surprise of everyone when invited for dinner by good natured family man Frederic played by the equally adorable Bernard Campan. Both actors give exquisite performances as expected if you're familiar with them. If Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist met at this stage in their life, this would be an interesting development. Enough said, all the casts are good including the black cat in the background in a scene.

If ever there was a runner up or successor to Brokeback Mountain, this would certainly be it in terms of narrative and milieu. Though the musical score is very good, it doesn't have the dramatic haunting reminiscence of Gustavo Santaolalla's and as such carries a slight advantage over this one. One noteworthy comparison is that they are both written by women. Is it perhaps those female writers/directors are more adept at handling gay themed love stories than actual gay writers/directors because women are more in touch with their emotions and knows what tenderness is? Or maybe they are writing it from their perspective originally intended for the lesbian audiences? Whatever the intention, they're truly good at it compared to many forgettable gay themed films with more emphasis on lust, agendas and dramatics.

I wished this film would have had the same coverage as it truly deserves. I imagine it a big hit in Japan if it is or was released. One important thing this viewer learned is that it didn't go unnoticed and would even like to keep it a secret and maybe it should stay that way as if cherishing a gem of art shielding it from the general population. The Man of My Life effortlessly became one of his most favorite films of all time.

Oh another skill that Zabou Brietman may or may not know have; poet.

What happens when you try to be "arty"

[alex_hulubas · 4/10 · 10 November 2012]

The movie is visually stunning and all the actors did a good job, but it tries too hard to be artistic and it mostly fails.

The two main male characters have deep talks about life, love, family and their meaning, discussion which is constantly shown in flashbacks, repeating the last minute of the previous one, but they lack substance. It tries to be witty, and that it's pretty obvious, but it fails.

The relationship of them is never truly explained, also leaving the viewer with a confusing open ending - again, it tried not to be "in your face", to make you think, to discover things by yourself but it couldn't raise to the stakes raised by itself.

The director, Zabou Breitman wasn't at her first try in the movie industry; now, I don't know how her other films hold up, they don't have a page on Wikipedia, nor on RottenTomatoes and her directed films on IMDb don't have a rating yet (maybe all that means something too), even if released years ago, but if the others are the same, they aren't worthy.

On the bright side, it's cinematography is really great, it has some beautiful shot moments, she knows her way around the camera - too bad they don't integrate very well into the film.

4/10

Enigmatic, Subtle, Well Thought Out, Though....

[ekeby · 8/10 · 17 October 2009]

This film is so well photographed, produced, acted, scripted, etc., I feel a bit caddish for complaining about any aspect of it.

The photography is beautiful, lush at times, and often original. Much of the story takes place in dreams, or in a dream-like state, and the cinematographer does a good job conveying as much.

The film returns repeatedly to segments of an all night conversation between the two male leads, revealing nothing particularly extraordinary. Their dialog is the kind college kids have when they're talking about The Meaning of It All. But aspects of that discussion are played off against events occurring around them in the days that follow. It's a nice structure, one that lends itself to the dreamy photography.

I think the film could have been truly great if just a bit of the thematic and visual metaphors had been scaled back. This slight excess is noticeable, and that, I think, is a shame. Don't get me wrong--this is so far and away above the quality of most gay cinema it's definitely worth seeing, and thoroughly enjoyable.

I think Netflix has categorized this film as Foreign, rather than as Gay & Lesbian. It's French, so it clearly belongs to the former, but it is also a top tier example of the latter.

Pretentious Drivel

[kschles-67905 · 2/10 · 13 March 2022]

This was just so bad. It should be shown in film course as an example of what not to do. Watching it reminded me of a line from the 1932 movie "Grand Hotel," where Greta Garbo says " People come, people go; nothing ever happens." Ostensibly about the evolving relationship between gay Hugo and straight Frederick, the movie is littered with numerous characters and plot threads that do nothing but confuse. While beautiful to look at, the cinematographer is as confusing as whatever passes for a plot. Repetition does nothing to give meaning to shot after shot. A sad waste of the efforts of a decent cast trying to give meaning to utter BS.

It was alright.

[asmailrabbit · 14 April 2011]

I really wanted to like this movie. The opening shots were beautiful, and there were some very well thought out and artistic angles and scenes throughout the movie, like many European films, but overall it failed for me. I first started noticing it when they began showing the beautiful gossamer fabric blowing in the doorway over and over and over again. Soon it became droning and devoid of the magical and suggestive quality it had in its first appearance. That didn't bother me too terribly much, but then it started happening with the two main characters, Hugo and Frederic. I realize that all the scenes with them sitting in the chairs in the dirt outside the house were probably each reminiscences on a single event, but it was still torturous. There were so many of those scenes, and they were boring. The dialogue seemed pretentious on Hugo's part, though in Frederic's fumbling, bumbling way he managed to remain somewhat charming. Still, I found myself praying that they wouldn't cut back to the boring chair scene. I vowed to fast forward after the fourth time, but I didn't. Couldn't they mix it up a little? Break up that conversation, talk and walk, talk and swim, SOMETHING else. I don't know what was so great about Hugo, anyway. He was a vulgar, rude, lecherous, run-of-the-mill playboy and he was a terrible dad. **/***** stars.

"The Case of the Little Chair by the Side of the Bed"..............

[arizona-philm-phan · 2 June 2008]

..........or: "Fred Discovers He's Been Missing Something" (alternate title for this Comment).

This is a love story........a falling-in-love story. Yes, it's a love story, pure and simp.... Oh, wait, it's not so simple after all. Just think how shattering it must be to have spent the majority of your adult life in a happy and loving heterosexual marriage.......only to have a day come along, like any ordinary day, until it changes to one in which you meet a someone of the same sex, and unexpectedly there starts the beginnings of a new love.

In this "typically French" film, we're fairly quickly introduced to two men: Frederic ("F"), a seemingly happily married man with wife (Frederique), child and extended family residing in their vacation villa. We first see scenes not only of this fairly large group's family interactions, but also intimate interludes between just this man and his wife. Closeness, caressing and kissing abound in this couple's first scenes (but, wait.......we then discover that physical intercourse, on his part, seems to have become difficult to achieve). We then meet our second male lead, Hugo ("H"), a graphic designer who resides next door. He's an unashamedly "out" gay man who, through the course of the film, becomes as increasingly fascinating to our villa resident as that vacationer becomes to him. "H" is a man who happily and easily frequents a local gay bar, as well as "entertains" a string of handsome young men in his home. One of the first times we and Frederic are invited into H's home/studio we are confronted by a stunningly beautiful young god of a man----nude and seemingly levitated far above our heads in a semi-fetal sleeping position. It is an image that any famed museum/gallery in the world would die for. There is also an hours long conversation between just these two men, touching on life philosophy and love among other areas. We look in on it at various points throughout the entire film. It's during these hours, as their comfort with one another deepens, that we watch as Hugo becomes more touchy-feely with Frederic, who himself becomes more comfortably at ease. Revealingly, we then witness their time together coming to its early morning conclusion, with "H" leaving for home, while softly voicing to "F" the ultimate in personal compliments. I must ask here what would be your reaction, dear reader, if your newfound and liked, departing companion directed to you the words, "You're devastating?" Ah, yes.......well, for Frederic it obviously becomes the start of something completely new and different in his life.

Complimenting these intensely personal and emotional scenes, there is a stunningly beautiful progression of outdoor / landscape scenes, one in particular showing a morning run, ankle-injured Frederic being carried home on Hugo's back, wending their way through a very large field of what appears to be blooming garlic (unusually lovely, to say the least), and then through a huge and magnificent field of sunflower blooms. Tellingly, "F's" arms are clasped around "H's" shoulders and neck, with the side of his face resting against the back of Hugo's head (and this is the scene unhappy wife, Frederique, sees upon their arrival at the villa). Shortly follows a quickening of the recuperating Frederic's feelings for the other man as we see him, half dozing on a patio lounge chair, sensing the presence of another, and finally opening his eyes to a quietly arrived and serious faced Hugo. A smile slowly lighting his features, "H" utters: "I came to see about you. I'll get back to work now." The look of self-satisfaction then appearing on "F's" face tells us more than could a thousand words.

Perhaps the most significant indication of the depth of growth in the relationship of these two men occurs near film's end, upon Frederic's learning of Hugo's impending temporary departure from the area. Limping his way to seek out "H," he finds him outside the area's gay nightclub. Responding to Hugo's questions, "Why did you come? Why are you here? You want to tell me something?" Frederic responds: "You're leaving...." Frederic then approaches "H" to bring them standing as physically close as possible, forehead to forehead, eyes closed. After a few moments, "F" turns suddenly and departs (it is this scene's DVD Chapter heading that the film director has labeled: "In Love"----methinks she knows of what she speaks).

Lastly, having just shortly ago spoken of Frederique ("F's" spouse), this movie can be pretty much described as one, long downhill slide for her, emotionally and relationship-wise. Her last scenes are ones of frantic---and nude---ravings over her perceived connubial losses.

AND, as to what Fred's future lifestyle plans for himself are, you'll have to watch this film and decide for yourself. To help you through this a little, in his last scene he does say to his sleeping, small son: "I'm wobbly, imperfect, broken pawed, heart-in-tatters. I love you, but know I still have to grow up. I'll come back. I'll come back to spar with you again."

So, dear readers of this page and viewers of this film, what do you think is the meaning of his final words........and what can they possibly portend for Hugo?

(NOTE: There are some film negatives---a number of surreal-ish camera shots with little or no accompanying explanation. While sometimes pretty and catching, they do distract from forward movement, as do a number of, frankly, unneeded family activity scenes.)

PS--If you're wondering about this Comment's title ("...little chair by the bed"), you'll just have to check out the film for yourself. Happy viewing.

PPS--This film is becoming "Addictive" to me. ***Other such habit formers: "Just A Question Of Love" (Wow) / "Brokeback Mountain" / "Boy Culture" / "All Over The Guy" / "Second Skin" / "The Man I Love" / "Latter Days" / "The Mudge Boy".

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