South of Hell (2005) User Reviews

Pure horror: man chokes to death on pretzel!

[Coventry · 4/10 · 7 September 2012]

Somebody – anybody – really ought to explain to horror directors all around that internet websites and computers are NOT scary! After legendary awful movies such as "FearDotCom" and "Hellraiser: Hellworld", I hoped we saw the last of murderous websites, but yet here's another… Still, overall seen I can't bring myself to writing too many harsh things about "South of Hell", as I have a deep sympathy for zero-budgeted amateur flicks with the right mindset and the heart in the right place. Director Wayne Crawford cast himself as … himself! He plays a modest but competent horror director turned film school teacher and guides a group of dim-witted students through their final project. Normally, I would consider this type of concept pretentious and incredibly loathsome, but Crawford is such an amiable dude and his observations on himself and the genre movie industry are aptly tongue-in-cheek, so you forgive this film a lot. The students want to re-enact the tale of infamous local murder mystery revolving around Frank Gamble. He was a prominent scientific researcher slash university professor once, but then he married one of his students and started working for the government. Gamble allegedly discovered something and then vanished, though not before creating a portal to another – and very lethal – dimension via an internet site. Gamble's old house and furniture are now brought to the movie studios, but the evil still homes there. The plot is hectic and largely dull, but also derivative of several immensely popular genre gems like "In the Mouth of Madness" for example. It takes an incredibly long time before there's a somewhat noteworthy horror sequence to enjoy. The first half is particularly talkative and tame. One supportive character even dies from choking on a pretzel! Now, that's pure horror for you. The bloodshed and body count vastly increases during the second half, but it all remains cheap, inept and not at all frightening. Being low-budget B-movie trash, "South of Hell" also could have used a bit more gratuitous nudity and sleaze. There's some naked flesh to admire – from a hired stripper – but nearly not enough.