Drew Emery's superb compilation of love stories transcends gay/straight prejudices by tugging at the heartstrings of the viewer. Indeed, only a truly isolated individual would be unable to relate to at least one story told by the film subjects. The blatant humanness exhibited by each subject draws you into them, you forget whether they are gay or straight, and you really don't care.............which is at it should be.Unusual for a documentary, the film utilizes the vocal talents of Felicia Loud to set the mood for each interview and the director inserts her seamlessly here and there to great affect. Drew and his interviewees have greatly enhanced the human experience by showing that true love hath no prejudice or favorite.
20 Reviews
Solidified My Confidence in Society...
mdyce18 July 2005
I had a rough week, and had no idea what movie I was being invited to by my friends -- really the last thing I wanted to do last night. HOLY BANANAS BATMAN! I don't go to many movies, but LAST NIGHT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCES WITH A MOVIE IN MY LIFE! Seriously. Absolutely struck the heart strings. As a former legally married gay man now in a wonderful relationship with an incredible partner -- the tears flowed and flowed and flowed (I think my friend was ready to hand me a hand towel!). I have recently faced a backlash from a former girlfriend questioning my "choice" to leave my wife and "become" gay. This movie solidified my confidence in society... knowing that we don't have to be 'second-class citizens' much longer. FANTASTIC and THANK YOU!
An engaging and moving look at love and relationships
jkkinch17 July 2005
Documentary filmmaker Drew Emery has written and directed a richly compelling, generous and thought-provoking examination of modern day love and commitment. Inlaws and Outlaws introduces us to a smörgåsbord of couples at varying stages in their relationships. Some are gay. Some are straight. Some are married. Some are not. Some are still together, others have gone their separate ways. All have fascinating, complex and profound things to say about who they fell in love with, why they fell in love and what their relationships have meant to them as they moved through life. By the end of the movie, one comes to know and care about each of people on the screen in this engaging and at times moving look at love and relationships.
a timely, heartfelt, complex dialogue about love & relationships
strangeangel-115 August 2005
It's so rare to sit in a dark theatre and feel connected both to the "characters", and the people surrounding you. I had this experience watching INLAWS & OUTLAWS at the Cinerama recently. This documentary is a refreshingly disarming and engaging dialogue about love and intimacy. Drew Emery's personable style as an interviewer/filmmaker draws his subjects out, and they share their stories so openly, and with such honesty, that you feel like you are sitting in their living room. I found myself (and those around me) laughing and crying with these folks, identifying with their struggles to stay together, celebrating the hard won commitments of straight, gay and bi couples, and grieving one man's loss of his longtime partner. By the end of the film, I felt I knew them, and as a single person, I'd learned from them (in funny & serious ways) how to stay with someone beyond the "honeymoon phase." At a time when the word "marriage" is loaded with political tension and clouded by rhetoric, INLAWS & OUTLAWS draws us back to what is essential...love. I'm telling everyone I knew to see this film when it hits the theatres!
Beautiful
joanne348218 July 2005
This movie is simply beautiful. Each contributor's story is so genuine and real and touching. I think that this is more a movie about love and hope than necessarily about marriage. Felicia Loud's songs enhanced each scene. She has a great voice. At least one of her songs brought tears to my eyes, it was done with such simple sweetness. I laughed a lot. I cried a little and in the end walked out with hope. And I can't ask for much more than that in a movie. When there are so many commercial movies about blowing things up or tearing families apart, it was nice to see a well done movie about people coming together and staying together. There's something truly inspiring about couples who have managed to stay together for as long as some of these couples.
A must see for everyone!
rublesw27 February 2006
Drew Emory is Brilliant! Never before has there been a complete presentation of LOVE. It offers insight into a variety of relationships and views, some new and others not so new. Inlaws & Outlaws presents a simplistic perspective and appreciation of relationships for everyone. This film will make you laugh, cry and think. It has the power to change and heal our society. The world could learn so much from Inlaws & Outlaws. I've seen it twice and shared the experience with friends. Looking forward to adding it to my home DVD collection. This is one of the best films I've ever seen. We need more LOVE and Drew Emory productions. Thank you Drew!
In laws out laws
sallyfriedman18 July 2005
This movie made me excited about being in my relationship of 22 years again. It was affirming and made me think about what I would have said if I had been interviewed. Thank you for the movie. I am looking forward to buying it when it comes out. I enjoyed the contrast of the different couples. The different ages and perspectives. Seeing the straight couples in with being gay and lesbian couples help show how marriage is for all of us. I can see how this would be a wonderful tool in discussion groups and in showing the legislature that they are discriminating against people by not giving us all equal rights. We can have a commitment ceremony for ourselves, but those federal benefits and public recognition is very affirming.
Not at all what I expected!
ARossMartin23 February 2006
I'm a married guy with a wife of 22 years. She dragged me to what I thought would be a "chick flick," as part of the Palm Springs Festival. I don't mean anything disparaging by that term, but I was expecting a movie that was all about hearts and flowers and happily ever after and that it would would be either sappy or preachy or both.
Far from it! In-laws/Outlaws was fresh, funny, moving and I found it engrossing. This flick is about love and, to a lesser degree, about marriage. But it just rings so TRUE. When's the last time you went to the movies and saw an HONEST portrayal of what it takes to find true love? Not Hollywood love. The real deal.
These are just stories of ordinary people, and though I'm not myself gay, I found myself nodding a lot with some of the experiences, missteps and lessons learned from what some of the gays in relationships had gone through. I saw Brokeback Mountain and "got it", I guess but it left me feeling just sad for gay people. This movie made me forget who was gay and made me feel pretty darn good to be alive.
In fact, In-laws/Outlaws was a movie that made me fall in love with my wife all over again. And it was funny, very surprisingly funny, and gripping and very satisfying. I can't remember going to a film and coming out so high and inspired. I just wanted to go out and hug the world and tell them everything's going to be okay.
Go see it if it ever makes it your way. I talked to one of the producers and I guess they'll have a DVD eventually. Either way, there's no way to describe why a simple movie like this would be so effective and entertaining. I guess it fills a long-neglected spot. It's the real deal about love.
Far from it! In-laws/Outlaws was fresh, funny, moving and I found it engrossing. This flick is about love and, to a lesser degree, about marriage. But it just rings so TRUE. When's the last time you went to the movies and saw an HONEST portrayal of what it takes to find true love? Not Hollywood love. The real deal.
These are just stories of ordinary people, and though I'm not myself gay, I found myself nodding a lot with some of the experiences, missteps and lessons learned from what some of the gays in relationships had gone through. I saw Brokeback Mountain and "got it", I guess but it left me feeling just sad for gay people. This movie made me forget who was gay and made me feel pretty darn good to be alive.
In fact, In-laws/Outlaws was a movie that made me fall in love with my wife all over again. And it was funny, very surprisingly funny, and gripping and very satisfying. I can't remember going to a film and coming out so high and inspired. I just wanted to go out and hug the world and tell them everything's going to be okay.
Go see it if it ever makes it your way. I talked to one of the producers and I guess they'll have a DVD eventually. Either way, there's no way to describe why a simple movie like this would be so effective and entertaining. I guess it fills a long-neglected spot. It's the real deal about love.
A must see film for all
winidapu92311 May 2006
I saw this film at a packed theater in Cleveland. The film brought me to tears, made me laugh, made me think, and made me want to get its message out to others. The emotional depth of this movie is bound to affect even the most hardened person. The stories of these people are the stories of all of us. Young/old, black/white, straight/gay, and how important and affirming the recognition of marriage, no matter what its definition, is. This is a movie with a message, and that message rings loud and clear, that everyone counts. I hope to share this film with everyone I know, and maybe even some I don't know. I plan on petitioning my church to show the film. I encourage everyone to see this film.
Surprising & engaging
proteusblue12 April 2006
My husband and I saw this recently. We went because we have a lesbian daughter and wanted to support alternative points of view. I didn't realize it would be so damn funny!
The music is amazing, the people in it are incredible. We both walked away so uplifted by the experience and talking about it for hours. I had hoped to gain some insight into my daughter's relationship (I did) but didn't expect to learn so much about my own. It's really quite amazing. I could've done without one couple at the end but it didn't take away from a wonderful experience.
Two thumbs up from our family -- four when it comes around again and we take our daughters.
The music is amazing, the people in it are incredible. We both walked away so uplifted by the experience and talking about it for hours. I had hoped to gain some insight into my daughter's relationship (I did) but didn't expect to learn so much about my own. It's really quite amazing. I could've done without one couple at the end but it didn't take away from a wonderful experience.
Two thumbs up from our family -- four when it comes around again and we take our daughters.
Must See
haa-423 October 2005
This is a tribute to the human heart. Bravo to Drew Emery! If you haven't experienced this film you need to, and in a theater with others. The energy in creates in the theater and in the heart of the viewer is a treatment for all that ails intimate human relationships! This will make for the perfect family viewing experience and holiday gift giving. While legal battles must be fought to change the laws surrounding marriage equality this film changes hearts and minds in every audience that views it. Its reach is beyond the gay/straight boundary and as all great film reaches beyond time. It has deeply moved members of my entire family from 14 to 85 its message reminds all of us that the struggle to truly love in our culture takes courage and resilience. Take the time and effort to find this film near you and note it for purchase when it becomes available in DVD format.
A superior documentary, compassionate and insightful.
tlmces9 July 2006
The individuals who participated in this documentary could easily be anyone's sister, brother, uncle, aunt, grandparent even. The relationships are genuine, beautiful examples of the strength of love.
This film should be required viewing for everyone. For those individuals who doubt real love can exist between same sex people, this film will be enlightening to them. Love is love, respect is respect, but most of all, love is not defined by society, it is defined by two people who care deeply for one another.
This documentary demonstrates the truth about the majority of gay and lesbian relationships, rather than the stereotypical 1% of gay and lesbian folks on whom heterosexuals make their false judgements on the remaining 99% of gays and lesbians.
See the film, judge for yourselves. It is worth your time.
This film should be required viewing for everyone. For those individuals who doubt real love can exist between same sex people, this film will be enlightening to them. Love is love, respect is respect, but most of all, love is not defined by society, it is defined by two people who care deeply for one another.
This documentary demonstrates the truth about the majority of gay and lesbian relationships, rather than the stereotypical 1% of gay and lesbian folks on whom heterosexuals make their false judgements on the remaining 99% of gays and lesbians.
See the film, judge for yourselves. It is worth your time.
the most illuminating 100 min. of your week, guaranteed
pcvack11 August 2011
Too bad I can only see this film for the first time once; the premiere viewing had me riveted.
Drew Emery capitalizes on the fact that our individual histories, be they gay or straight, are as varied and as nuanced as our personalities: visceral tales straining to be shared. All they require is adequate framing and a dedicated storyteller. Eventually discovering a soul mate – and recognizing him/her as such – is a revelatory and in some ways redemptive experience, which is why it makes for great theater, such as this.
The film serves as a pointed reminder that lives – all lives – proceed from chapter to chapter, occasionally punctuated by celebration, or crisis, or restlessness, or suspense, or ennui, or what have you. To live is also, perforce, to reinvent. This can occur forcibly and in public, or quietly via some adjustment in philosophical approach, along with the innumerable variations that lie somewhere in between. The alternative lifestyle community showcased in Inlaws & Outlaws may be specialized, but as players immersed in the human experience, they are not special.
LGBTQ audiences will embrace this film without hesitation, but its legacy is even more pronounced as a learning implement in the wider arsenal wielded against the narrow-minded and the skeptical. The most strident foes of marriage equality must recognize that these same-sex couples have been thunderstruck by love and, perhaps, acknowledge that boundless mutual affection and respect is a force to be reckoned with, regardless.
I suspected that Inlaws & Outlaws would be a DVD I'd want to own long-term, serving as affirmation that no one traverses this particular road unscathed. The rewards are satisfying beyond description, of course, and I'll never tire of witnessing testimony to that.
Drew Emery capitalizes on the fact that our individual histories, be they gay or straight, are as varied and as nuanced as our personalities: visceral tales straining to be shared. All they require is adequate framing and a dedicated storyteller. Eventually discovering a soul mate – and recognizing him/her as such – is a revelatory and in some ways redemptive experience, which is why it makes for great theater, such as this.
The film serves as a pointed reminder that lives – all lives – proceed from chapter to chapter, occasionally punctuated by celebration, or crisis, or restlessness, or suspense, or ennui, or what have you. To live is also, perforce, to reinvent. This can occur forcibly and in public, or quietly via some adjustment in philosophical approach, along with the innumerable variations that lie somewhere in between. The alternative lifestyle community showcased in Inlaws & Outlaws may be specialized, but as players immersed in the human experience, they are not special.
LGBTQ audiences will embrace this film without hesitation, but its legacy is even more pronounced as a learning implement in the wider arsenal wielded against the narrow-minded and the skeptical. The most strident foes of marriage equality must recognize that these same-sex couples have been thunderstruck by love and, perhaps, acknowledge that boundless mutual affection and respect is a force to be reckoned with, regardless.
I suspected that Inlaws & Outlaws would be a DVD I'd want to own long-term, serving as affirmation that no one traverses this particular road unscathed. The rewards are satisfying beyond description, of course, and I'll never tire of witnessing testimony to that.
Entertaining AND inspiring
proteusblue-121 June 2008
I saw this movie in my church several months ago and it keeps coming back to me over and over again. Usually when I enjoy a film this much I don't want to see it again because I don't want to ruin my memory of how great it was the first time round.
It came up in conversation with two different people a few weeks ago (when two other couples were talking about a planned wedding for a friend of ours) and I decided this would make a good wedding present. So I ordered the DVD for a gift and when it arrived - I couldn't not watch it. I ended up ordering another one for the gift and 4 more for others.
The second time around was a different experience. The movie was actually better. Usually, knowing how something is going to end can ruin the set-up. This time it actually gave it another level of drama and expectation. The richness of the stories and the way they are layered together is so effective because it pulls you in on a purely emotional level.
Maybe my expectations for a "talking heads" documentary were very low - but whatever the reason, the thoughtfulness and sensitivity that went into this one just makes for a great movie. The music is to die for and this is one of the few DVDs I've ever bought where the extras actually added to the experience of the whole -- rather than demystify and hype the main event.
I'll add that my husband had no interest in watching the movie and after popping his head in the den a few times to find out why I was laughing, he finally plopped down on the sofa and watched the rest of it with me. Near the end we were holding hands and I looked over and he was totally tearing up. Afterwards he said, 'That was pretty good.' Now he wants to watch the whole thing from the beginning.
It came up in conversation with two different people a few weeks ago (when two other couples were talking about a planned wedding for a friend of ours) and I decided this would make a good wedding present. So I ordered the DVD for a gift and when it arrived - I couldn't not watch it. I ended up ordering another one for the gift and 4 more for others.
The second time around was a different experience. The movie was actually better. Usually, knowing how something is going to end can ruin the set-up. This time it actually gave it another level of drama and expectation. The richness of the stories and the way they are layered together is so effective because it pulls you in on a purely emotional level.
Maybe my expectations for a "talking heads" documentary were very low - but whatever the reason, the thoughtfulness and sensitivity that went into this one just makes for a great movie. The music is to die for and this is one of the few DVDs I've ever bought where the extras actually added to the experience of the whole -- rather than demystify and hype the main event.
I'll add that my husband had no interest in watching the movie and after popping his head in the den a few times to find out why I was laughing, he finally plopped down on the sofa and watched the rest of it with me. Near the end we were holding hands and I looked over and he was totally tearing up. Afterwards he said, 'That was pretty good.' Now he wants to watch the whole thing from the beginning.
Please, everyone, go see this film
piemaid-111 March 2007
Whether you are gay or straight, I hope that you will take the time to sit down and watch this beautiful film. Mr. Emery's portrayal of gay marriages with all their struggles and triumphs, and his intimate portraits of the individuals involved in these relationships is heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time.
There is no way you can walk away from this film without a better understanding of the need for marriage equality in this country. And even if you don't agree with gay marriage, the human faces Mr. Emery adds to this debate are unforgettable. At one point one of the lesbian couples discusses calling each other "wife". My partner and I had a commitment ceremony in the fall and calling each other "wife" was at first strange and a little uncomfortable. But we had gone from being girlfriends, to partners, to wives, and only that word could convey for us the true meaning of our bond.
I loved the way the individual stories were woven together, and I think that everyone will find someone in the film to identify with. Mr. Emery shows us, beautifully, that all relationships are challenging, that love is worth the struggle, and that none of this depends on your gender or sexual orientation.
There is no way you can walk away from this film without a better understanding of the need for marriage equality in this country. And even if you don't agree with gay marriage, the human faces Mr. Emery adds to this debate are unforgettable. At one point one of the lesbian couples discusses calling each other "wife". My partner and I had a commitment ceremony in the fall and calling each other "wife" was at first strange and a little uncomfortable. But we had gone from being girlfriends, to partners, to wives, and only that word could convey for us the true meaning of our bond.
I loved the way the individual stories were woven together, and I think that everyone will find someone in the film to identify with. Mr. Emery shows us, beautifully, that all relationships are challenging, that love is worth the struggle, and that none of this depends on your gender or sexual orientation.
A surprising film
drewonimo-18 February 2007
I saw this film at a special HRC event here in DC. The purpose was to get people to support the film's message and it's use in churches, etc.
I agree that it will do much good for those who take it on. Still the value of In-laws and Outlaws for me was really in that it was a rich movie-going experience. I had heard good things about the message of the film but didn't realize it would be entertaining and involving to the degree it was. It's exceptional.
The "characters" are so dynamic and varied. The dramatic tension of what will happen to whom was real and full of surprises. It was oftentimes hilarious. It's themes were very layered and full of ambiguity that left one considering even the most basic concepts around love and marriage. Ultimately, it's a hopeful experience, watching this movie.
I have thought about it countless times in the days since I saw it with a friend of mine. Yesterday he called me out of the blue to ask me about one of the people in the film -- whether I liked the person or not. After 40 minutes of chatting about the film, I realized that he had so identified with a character that needed forgiveness that he wanted to know if I judged the person. It wasn't someone I particularly liked in the movie but I can honestly say that I still cared about this person. There's a compassion in the film that's contagious.
I agree that it will do much good for those who take it on. Still the value of In-laws and Outlaws for me was really in that it was a rich movie-going experience. I had heard good things about the message of the film but didn't realize it would be entertaining and involving to the degree it was. It's exceptional.
The "characters" are so dynamic and varied. The dramatic tension of what will happen to whom was real and full of surprises. It was oftentimes hilarious. It's themes were very layered and full of ambiguity that left one considering even the most basic concepts around love and marriage. Ultimately, it's a hopeful experience, watching this movie.
I have thought about it countless times in the days since I saw it with a friend of mine. Yesterday he called me out of the blue to ask me about one of the people in the film -- whether I liked the person or not. After 40 minutes of chatting about the film, I realized that he had so identified with a character that needed forgiveness that he wanted to know if I judged the person. It wasn't someone I particularly liked in the movie but I can honestly say that I still cared about this person. There's a compassion in the film that's contagious.
By the End, You Will Have Questioned and Doubted Your Preconceptions
jzappa11 November 2008
Drew Emery has composed only one film, and it is quite a promising one, a thoroughly undeniable, bighearted and stimulating assessment of contemporary love and devotion. Emery's Grand Jury Prize-winning collective narrative hosts a plethora of couples at differing phases in their relationships. Some are gay. Some are straight. Some are married. Some are not. Some are together even now, others have moved on. All have captivating, intricate and reflective comments and stories about those with who they fell in love, why they fell in love and what their relationships have signified to them as they have carried on through life.
Emery arranges the film so that we presume who is gay and who is with who, and does not blindside us with the results of our expectations but rather blindsides us with who we prejudged correctly and who we prejudged wide of the mark. It is the essential visual persuasive essay for those who have reservations about homosexuality and gay marriage. By the end, no matter how you feel about gays, even if you are like me and have a best friend who is gay, you will have questioned and doubted your preconceptions and your assessments of people and how easily one can write off someone entirely contrary to who they are and how the feel. And by the end, one comes to feel acquainted with and be concerned about each of people on the screen in this winning and poignant gaze at love and interaction in a universal sense.
Emery's superb assemblage of love stories rises above prejudices so much more intelligently than even the most diligent and thorough documentary about religious perception of homosexuality, or marriage bans, by yanking at the tenderest core of the viewer. The palpable reality emoted by each interviewee attracts you to them, you are sometimes incorrect in your assumption of who is gay or straight, and you really don't care, which is as we should be. Uncommon for a documentary, the film makes use of the jazz- and blues- rooted musical numbers led by Felicia Loud to set the temper for each segment. Emery and his interviewees have momentously augmented life by relating that true love has no intolerance, no choice, no preference.
Indeed, seldom has there been an absolute staging of true love. It presents insight into a range of affairs and viewpoints, some new and others quite traditional. The composite of oral history presents a basic outlook and understanding of relationships involving every and anyone. This barefaced observation of life is hilarious, heartbreaking and cerebral all the same. It has the ability to revolutionize and mend our culture. The world could learn so much from these subjects. Inlaws & Outlaws is an experience we all need to make the endeavor to share with friends, screen in different communities all over the country, promote and re- release.
Emery arranges the film so that we presume who is gay and who is with who, and does not blindside us with the results of our expectations but rather blindsides us with who we prejudged correctly and who we prejudged wide of the mark. It is the essential visual persuasive essay for those who have reservations about homosexuality and gay marriage. By the end, no matter how you feel about gays, even if you are like me and have a best friend who is gay, you will have questioned and doubted your preconceptions and your assessments of people and how easily one can write off someone entirely contrary to who they are and how the feel. And by the end, one comes to feel acquainted with and be concerned about each of people on the screen in this winning and poignant gaze at love and interaction in a universal sense.
Emery's superb assemblage of love stories rises above prejudices so much more intelligently than even the most diligent and thorough documentary about religious perception of homosexuality, or marriage bans, by yanking at the tenderest core of the viewer. The palpable reality emoted by each interviewee attracts you to them, you are sometimes incorrect in your assumption of who is gay or straight, and you really don't care, which is as we should be. Uncommon for a documentary, the film makes use of the jazz- and blues- rooted musical numbers led by Felicia Loud to set the temper for each segment. Emery and his interviewees have momentously augmented life by relating that true love has no intolerance, no choice, no preference.
Indeed, seldom has there been an absolute staging of true love. It presents insight into a range of affairs and viewpoints, some new and others quite traditional. The composite of oral history presents a basic outlook and understanding of relationships involving every and anyone. This barefaced observation of life is hilarious, heartbreaking and cerebral all the same. It has the ability to revolutionize and mend our culture. The world could learn so much from these subjects. Inlaws & Outlaws is an experience we all need to make the endeavor to share with friends, screen in different communities all over the country, promote and re- release.
Inlaws and Outlaws documents the relationships of a number of couples, mostly gay and lesbian, and has each simply tell their story of love.
regjer14 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
*Warning the following analysis contains a discussion of the entire film – including the ending.
This Seattle based film may be the most emotionally stirring documentary I have ever witnessed. I must admit to tears 2 or 3 different times over the almost 2 hours. Perhaps the most surprising element of this powerful documentary is its simple (almost mundane) subject matter: a group of regular people talking about the people they love.
The hook to most documentaries is some extraordinary event (historical or personal), or a look into a world that is exotic, foreign, surprising or unknown in some way – something we have never seen before. By contrast the subject matter of Inlaws and Outlaws, ordinary falling in love, is extremely well known to us all and the stories are told with few starling events, nothing shocking, nothing in fact that you probably have not heard (or actually experienced) before. Yet the stories carry an impact that is emotionally overpowering.
Inlaws and Outlaws documents the relationships of a number of couples, mostly gay and lesbian, and has each simply tell their story of love. What is extraordinary is the courage some of the couples displayed by laying their most intimate emotions before the camera. You leave feeling you have witnessed what is most beautiful in humanity.
Further, the film is frequently hilarious and always entertaining. The director, Drew Emery, has inserted poignant musical pieces (performed by a jazz singer and band in a night club setting) to set up each new segment and allows us to think about what has come before. Further, the musical device divides the talk into the different parts of the relationships. And the final scene where the singer performs "Our Love Is Here To Stay" and we slowly realize the crowd dancing is made up of the couples from the film provides an unexpected and perfect closing to their stories and this powerful film.
Some of the couple we meet: A lesbian couple who were brought up Mormon and fought internal conflicts stemming from religious and family pressures for years before finally coming together. They had been lovers since high school but one of the two decided to marry and fake a 'traditional' life. She could not, and found the courage to put aside her guilt and family disowning to be with her true love.
There is an older man whose lover recently died after 50 years together. They found it necessary to remain closeted their entire lives with many friends thinking they were brothers. Also having grown up in an abusive household he tells how his father would have literally killed him if his homosexuality was discovered. The depth and beauty of their relationship is clear as he talks of their life together, and it is impossible not to cry when he speaks of David's death.
There are a couple of older lesbian couples who tell simple yet beautiful stories of love. And it is these older couples that are most powerful and which brought me to tears. Why? Perhaps because you feel their love is most pure somehow. They have left behind social pressures such as marriage or children, have moved beyond superficialities of beauty or status, and have come together simply and purely for love. And any film that can project that kind of beauty and make you feel that pure goodness of love is more than entertainment, it is life inspiring and emotionally cathartic.
There is a sad and still raw story of a divorce initiated by a husband who accepted he was gay in his 40s after years of marriage and children.
And then there is the young lesbian couple that is held up as the hero couple of the film – the hero relationship (in social terms). No, not because their love is any more strong or they had to overcome anything more difficult; rather because their relationship is the most easy and accepted, the most 'ordinary' of the gay relationships. They met, fell in love and got married in a traditional ceremony surround by friends and family and live together happily as wife and wife. Their relationship is the point of the film – this is how it should be but how it is not. It is a human rights message of the radical ordinary – I dare you to see these loving couples and maintain their love deserves any less recognition than straight love; I dare you to find the difference between the heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
Should you see it? Absolutely, you will find what is most beautiful in humanity.
This Seattle based film may be the most emotionally stirring documentary I have ever witnessed. I must admit to tears 2 or 3 different times over the almost 2 hours. Perhaps the most surprising element of this powerful documentary is its simple (almost mundane) subject matter: a group of regular people talking about the people they love.
The hook to most documentaries is some extraordinary event (historical or personal), or a look into a world that is exotic, foreign, surprising or unknown in some way – something we have never seen before. By contrast the subject matter of Inlaws and Outlaws, ordinary falling in love, is extremely well known to us all and the stories are told with few starling events, nothing shocking, nothing in fact that you probably have not heard (or actually experienced) before. Yet the stories carry an impact that is emotionally overpowering.
Inlaws and Outlaws documents the relationships of a number of couples, mostly gay and lesbian, and has each simply tell their story of love. What is extraordinary is the courage some of the couples displayed by laying their most intimate emotions before the camera. You leave feeling you have witnessed what is most beautiful in humanity.
Further, the film is frequently hilarious and always entertaining. The director, Drew Emery, has inserted poignant musical pieces (performed by a jazz singer and band in a night club setting) to set up each new segment and allows us to think about what has come before. Further, the musical device divides the talk into the different parts of the relationships. And the final scene where the singer performs "Our Love Is Here To Stay" and we slowly realize the crowd dancing is made up of the couples from the film provides an unexpected and perfect closing to their stories and this powerful film.
Some of the couple we meet: A lesbian couple who were brought up Mormon and fought internal conflicts stemming from religious and family pressures for years before finally coming together. They had been lovers since high school but one of the two decided to marry and fake a 'traditional' life. She could not, and found the courage to put aside her guilt and family disowning to be with her true love.
There is an older man whose lover recently died after 50 years together. They found it necessary to remain closeted their entire lives with many friends thinking they were brothers. Also having grown up in an abusive household he tells how his father would have literally killed him if his homosexuality was discovered. The depth and beauty of their relationship is clear as he talks of their life together, and it is impossible not to cry when he speaks of David's death.
There are a couple of older lesbian couples who tell simple yet beautiful stories of love. And it is these older couples that are most powerful and which brought me to tears. Why? Perhaps because you feel their love is most pure somehow. They have left behind social pressures such as marriage or children, have moved beyond superficialities of beauty or status, and have come together simply and purely for love. And any film that can project that kind of beauty and make you feel that pure goodness of love is more than entertainment, it is life inspiring and emotionally cathartic.
There is a sad and still raw story of a divorce initiated by a husband who accepted he was gay in his 40s after years of marriage and children.
And then there is the young lesbian couple that is held up as the hero couple of the film – the hero relationship (in social terms). No, not because their love is any more strong or they had to overcome anything more difficult; rather because their relationship is the most easy and accepted, the most 'ordinary' of the gay relationships. They met, fell in love and got married in a traditional ceremony surround by friends and family and live together happily as wife and wife. Their relationship is the point of the film – this is how it should be but how it is not. It is a human rights message of the radical ordinary – I dare you to see these loving couples and maintain their love deserves any less recognition than straight love; I dare you to find the difference between the heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
Should you see it? Absolutely, you will find what is most beautiful in humanity.
The heart of love
ELB-61 December 2005
What makes this film so wonderful is that it is simply true. The people speak of their experiences with love, honestly, genuinely, touchingly. This movie made me (and the whole audience) laugh that kind of deep belly-laugh that only comes from truth being spoken. And there were many tears as well. Very moving. Very warm. Very uplifting. So much of the debate over the 'sanctity of marriage' has taken place with picket signs, in courtrooms, and in political arenas. It is so refreshing to see something that takes the issue where it belongs: the heart. It makes the whole question of legislating against the 'right' kind of love ridiculous. After seeing this film I feel as if I have a whole bunch of new friends. I want to hug Frank and tell him 'thank you.' I want to invite Jane and her partner home to bake cookies with me. I hope this remarkable film gets the wide theatrical release it so richly deserves.
A must see for all who believe in love or want to believe in love.
gazclp3 February 2009
Inlaws and Outlaws is a must see film for anyone that has ever loved, been loved, or has experienced love or loss in any way. The raw intensity of emotions...both joy and sadness hit me on many levels.
The best part of the film was feeling that you were a part of everyone's story because we have all experienced love on some level. It was so nice to see love expressed between all sorts of people.
This film opened me up to the possibilities of love and romance...and those doors had been closed for a long time.
The most important part of all is that I feel as though the people that expressed their raw emotions either good or bad want everyone to experience at least once that kind of love....MUST SEE FOR ALL WHO EXPERIENCE LIFE AND LOVE....
The best part of the film was feeling that you were a part of everyone's story because we have all experienced love on some level. It was so nice to see love expressed between all sorts of people.
This film opened me up to the possibilities of love and romance...and those doors had been closed for a long time.
The most important part of all is that I feel as though the people that expressed their raw emotions either good or bad want everyone to experience at least once that kind of love....MUST SEE FOR ALL WHO EXPERIENCE LIFE AND LOVE....
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