this film is the best worst film i have ever seen. Its so terribly acted out and made but at the same time so funny because of its poor acting and plot. I think the comedy starts with the 5foot long hair straightner cord and how she got electrocuted in the bath. haha one thing you never find out is why they were hijacking the plane? "We have 20 minutes to dig a 100 yard runway" is amongst the best of the quotes as they jump into their mini diggers moving 2mph whilst speaking through walkie talkies to the person around 1 metre away from them. Also if you ever want to feel safe on a plane i suggest you hire the one from this film. it can have 5 handguns and 1 uzi blasting rounds for a few minutes with only one bullet piercing a hole in the fuel tank that is in the wrong place. I am telling you all this so that you don't have to spend money on it. "I bet your getting payed overtime for this, No I work on a flat rate" hahahahaha such a funny pathetic film
29 Reviews
not action....but FUNNY!!
scvido10 July 2006
I just watched this movie on DVD, i was told its an action movie.... it is but for some reason i laughed the whole movie until i got kidney pain and nearly choked.
this movie is soooooo funny. watch as the guy turn on the oven and blow himself up.....HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
please do yourself a favour and WATCH this movie, if you thought AIRPLANE or NAKED GUN was funny....wait until you see this movie.
the director thought of creating an action movie....turned out he mistaken everything and did a comedy filled movie.
WATCH IT! :D
this movie is soooooo funny. watch as the guy turn on the oven and blow himself up.....HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
please do yourself a favour and WATCH this movie, if you thought AIRPLANE or NAKED GUN was funny....wait until you see this movie.
the director thought of creating an action movie....turned out he mistaken everything and did a comedy filled movie.
WATCH IT! :D
Delightful mindless disaster romp...
jt_3d16 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
...and that's about it. From the rank insignia of the army guys which are turned sideways to the General chatting with an island in the south Pacific with a VHF walkie talkie from his living room, there's no way this movie is meant to be taken seriously. The farcical notion that one guy could own an entire airline and still be rich is pure LOL material. Curling irons which come with 20 foot power cords, airplane graphics right out of Flightsim 2k if not FS98, a 747 which can be landed on a soggy dirt runway, every dogface knowing how to land a 747 better than a real pilot, the idea that four guys could build 300 feet of runway in an hour, bulletproof galley carts and bulkheads and lav doors, there's no way you can take this movie seriously.
If you don't you might enjoy it. There's plenty of cute girls, guns, suspense and shootouts. And a boy meets girl, girl hates his guts but comes to get the hots for him subplot.
With lines like 'How many bullets do you have? Six. But there's five of them! It never hurts to bring a spare.' and morbide but funny exchanges between a coroner and a cop, you have to know this is not meant to be quality entertainment.
This is just some mindless way to kill some time, meant for a younger audience i.e. my kids, not me. Still I enjoyed it, just not enough to give it too much of a score and I don't think it was meant to be rated very high.
P.S. A slip is where you cross control the ailerons and rudder to lose altitude quickly. Crabbing is what you do to correct in a crosswind. Just a tip in case you are ever stationed on a south Pacific island, building a runway in a hurricane and need to tell a pilot how to land a 747 full of spoiled, rich hotties.
I bestow 4/10
If you don't you might enjoy it. There's plenty of cute girls, guns, suspense and shootouts. And a boy meets girl, girl hates his guts but comes to get the hots for him subplot.
With lines like 'How many bullets do you have? Six. But there's five of them! It never hurts to bring a spare.' and morbide but funny exchanges between a coroner and a cop, you have to know this is not meant to be quality entertainment.
This is just some mindless way to kill some time, meant for a younger audience i.e. my kids, not me. Still I enjoyed it, just not enough to give it too much of a score and I don't think it was meant to be rated very high.
P.S. A slip is where you cross control the ailerons and rudder to lose altitude quickly. Crabbing is what you do to correct in a crosswind. Just a tip in case you are ever stationed on a south Pacific island, building a runway in a hurricane and need to tell a pilot how to land a 747 full of spoiled, rich hotties.
I bestow 4/10
Oh my God
mianobekes26 December 2005
This film was embarrassing in its clichés, poor acting and generally low production values. It starts out badly with the long haired 3 star general calling the hero, Masters, "major" when he is obviously wearing the silver oak leaves of lieutenant colonel. But what was most distressing was the crew of soldiers on Neptune Atoll. How out of touch with any kind of reality can you get? They were all experts on flying a 747 and the scenes of the soldiers digging the ditch were beyond comical.
WARNING: THIS FILM IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL HEALTH! WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL!
WARNING: THIS FILM IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL HEALTH! WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL!
What a piece of....I loved it!!
c-f-eller15 September 2006
Hilarious!! I would have sworn Ed Wood wrote this. Terrible. I loved every frame. Bad movie aficionado's, this is your trophy! I will watch it again. Words cannot explain how entertaining this movie is. Pare's career must have dipped low, but I really think he's heading in the Leslie Nielson direction. He was perfect for this. Terrible, just terrible!! You'll love it!! Get some friends, lots of beer, and you'll have the time of your life. It's an MST3000 party, waiting to happen. Enjoy!! It is worth the rental!! You like the "Colombo type" cop and the comic relief coroner. The bad guy will have you on the floor laughing. He's also in another Pare movie, Komodo vs Cobra, and he's just as good there. I don't know what the budget was but they'll get it back because this film is destined to be the best unintended comedy of the year.
should have gone without seeing
klassics455425 July 2006
I should have gone without seeing the movie after reading the review here. I saw the whole movie by fast forwarding and ended in 25 minutes. though its a low budget movie it could have been made better.
The movie starts more like a thriller and in few minutes it tells you that you should switch off immediately. And why was the movie named "crash landing" when it was landed so well in such a bad climate.
Without any acting, all the characters where just moving or doing like kids.
And should not forget to comment on the joker - the main hijacker who would have been more suitable if this movie was a full time comedy.
The movie starts more like a thriller and in few minutes it tells you that you should switch off immediately. And why was the movie named "crash landing" when it was landed so well in such a bad climate.
Without any acting, all the characters where just moving or doing like kids.
And should not forget to comment on the joker - the main hijacker who would have been more suitable if this movie was a full time comedy.
Unbelievably Poorly Done Movie
ronca2010 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is so bad it's worth seeing. This movie will have viewers lapsing in and out of a coma within the first 10 minutes. It all started when a bunch of writers came up with the idea of a jetliner being hijacked and a passenger who can fly a small plane has to land the beast. However, they know it's been done before many times so to make it different, let's do it very badly! Major Masters has his name pirated from 80's movie "To Live and Die in L.A." from character played by Willem Dafoe. That saved 10 minutes in writing and production time. The plane is supposed to be a Boieng 747. That plane has a unique silhouette, even in the dark with its characteristic forward hump on the top. Just ask the late Ronald Reagan who lamented this point when them Ruskies shot down KAL 007 in the eighties. Yet when the plane takes off it's clearly not a 747 looks more like a 767. This well researched film also forgets to include the engineer's seat in the cockpit and replaces it with two comfy rumble seats. No need for a flight engineer on this complex plane! Heroine is played by perpetually pouting Gloria Lynn Berg. After tying up the hijacker, despite several bus-loads of people on this jumbo jet, nobody bothers to watch this guy who almost killed all of them. He's just forced to amuse himself.
The crippled plane, leaking fuel from all the hijacking shenanigans won't make it back to Hawaii so Masters will try to land at an Air Force base located on an island. Only the runway's 300 feet too short! Four army guys with little Bobcats (the kind you rent to take all day moving a load of horse manure to the back of your barn), are gonna clear a 200 foot wide and 300 foot long swath through the jungle in 20 minutes! No need for a bulldozer here! Where can you find guys like this? These guys could make a highway between Los Angeles and Las Vegas in 3 hours equipped only with tablespoons, a compass and a duck!
After that hellish obstacle is fixed, Masters will try to land the plane as heroine pouts away. Hijacker giggles to himself and unsupervised gets free to make more trouble. He is finally subdued in a most retarded manner that I can't tell you. But, can YOU say Moby Dick?
There are so many retarded scenes in this movie. The wounded captain is parked prone on the bar on the plane while Masters, who supposedly can barely fly, puts the plane into 60 degree banks and 20,000 feet per minute drops. The pilot should be french kissing the ceiling during these challenging stunts, but doesn't budge an inch.
I think that if they had picked different actors to play the parts, this moving could have been way better. If we need a pouting heroine in the movie, why not pick better known actress Bernadette Peters who seems to be perpetually pouting as well? Besides, she can sing and the busty well aging Peters could feature some gratuitous cleavage shots. Now with the singing angle this could be a Hijacking, Let's Land the Plane Movie MUSICAL! Cast Luciano Pavarotti as the Pilot. They can sing a duet in the cockpit prior to the hijacking and there's no way that tubby tenor would fly up to the ceiling as Masters works his magic on that big bird. In keeping with the musical theme, Masters could then be played by Andrei Bocelli, that Peters Can sing with as he lands the plane. Not only is he totally blind but only knows a couple of words of English. Now that's a plot! Think of the edge of your seat conversation between Masters (Bocelli) and the Air Traffic Controller:
ATC: "Sir, please throttle back to 180, flaps set to 25 degrees. maintain 230 heading"
Bocelli: "What?"
ATC: "Sir, arm spoilers now, confirm brake pressure at 250 psi. Maintain descent at 500 fpm"
Bocelli: "What?"
The hijacker could have been played by the late great Rodney Dangerfield who can spew a plethora of his one liners as he sits tied up and unguarded: "I get no respect. My wife is into group sex. Yeah, she screwed me in front of the judge and jury!" Get the idea?
MISSED OPPORTUNITIES The movie has your standard crying and moaning passengers that are never developed. Woody Allen could have been at the back offering one of his neurotic monologues: "She said I was great in bed. I told her I practice myself a lot..." Now THIS is a movie!
Also, according to similar movie "Executive Decision" where lazy eyed Steven Segal is mercifully killed at the start giving that movie a chance, 747's have massive attics up top. The plane was introduced in 1969 so who knows what has accumulated in almost 40 years up there? My uncle has old clothes, a sled, magazines and all sorts of stuff in his. WOuldn't it have been cool if Masters opened the trap door and saw a teary eyed Chevy Chase in a woman's housecoat watching old Super 8 movies of his childhood? Just a recommendation.
So give it a chance, and as u lapse in and out of consciousness imagine how great this movie could have been if I had my hand in it...
The crippled plane, leaking fuel from all the hijacking shenanigans won't make it back to Hawaii so Masters will try to land at an Air Force base located on an island. Only the runway's 300 feet too short! Four army guys with little Bobcats (the kind you rent to take all day moving a load of horse manure to the back of your barn), are gonna clear a 200 foot wide and 300 foot long swath through the jungle in 20 minutes! No need for a bulldozer here! Where can you find guys like this? These guys could make a highway between Los Angeles and Las Vegas in 3 hours equipped only with tablespoons, a compass and a duck!
After that hellish obstacle is fixed, Masters will try to land the plane as heroine pouts away. Hijacker giggles to himself and unsupervised gets free to make more trouble. He is finally subdued in a most retarded manner that I can't tell you. But, can YOU say Moby Dick?
There are so many retarded scenes in this movie. The wounded captain is parked prone on the bar on the plane while Masters, who supposedly can barely fly, puts the plane into 60 degree banks and 20,000 feet per minute drops. The pilot should be french kissing the ceiling during these challenging stunts, but doesn't budge an inch.
I think that if they had picked different actors to play the parts, this moving could have been way better. If we need a pouting heroine in the movie, why not pick better known actress Bernadette Peters who seems to be perpetually pouting as well? Besides, she can sing and the busty well aging Peters could feature some gratuitous cleavage shots. Now with the singing angle this could be a Hijacking, Let's Land the Plane Movie MUSICAL! Cast Luciano Pavarotti as the Pilot. They can sing a duet in the cockpit prior to the hijacking and there's no way that tubby tenor would fly up to the ceiling as Masters works his magic on that big bird. In keeping with the musical theme, Masters could then be played by Andrei Bocelli, that Peters Can sing with as he lands the plane. Not only is he totally blind but only knows a couple of words of English. Now that's a plot! Think of the edge of your seat conversation between Masters (Bocelli) and the Air Traffic Controller:
ATC: "Sir, please throttle back to 180, flaps set to 25 degrees. maintain 230 heading"
Bocelli: "What?"
ATC: "Sir, arm spoilers now, confirm brake pressure at 250 psi. Maintain descent at 500 fpm"
Bocelli: "What?"
The hijacker could have been played by the late great Rodney Dangerfield who can spew a plethora of his one liners as he sits tied up and unguarded: "I get no respect. My wife is into group sex. Yeah, she screwed me in front of the judge and jury!" Get the idea?
MISSED OPPORTUNITIES The movie has your standard crying and moaning passengers that are never developed. Woody Allen could have been at the back offering one of his neurotic monologues: "She said I was great in bed. I told her I practice myself a lot..." Now THIS is a movie!
Also, according to similar movie "Executive Decision" where lazy eyed Steven Segal is mercifully killed at the start giving that movie a chance, 747's have massive attics up top. The plane was introduced in 1969 so who knows what has accumulated in almost 40 years up there? My uncle has old clothes, a sled, magazines and all sorts of stuff in his. WOuldn't it have been cool if Masters opened the trap door and saw a teary eyed Chevy Chase in a woman's housecoat watching old Super 8 movies of his childhood? Just a recommendation.
So give it a chance, and as u lapse in and out of consciousness imagine how great this movie could have been if I had my hand in it...
Dialog Disaster
hgunning17 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Aghhhhhh! What a disappointment. A perfectly good hunk like Antonio Sabato Jr and nothing but embarrassing drivel coming out of his mouth. I cringed at 95% of the Dialog! It would have been better to have made the character a mute! How Antonio Sabato and Michael Pare could speak those lines without losing control of some bodily function is beyond me! If Michale Pare's character prefaced or ended just one more sentence with the word 'Men' I think I would have thrown the iron through the TV set (I love to multitask - especially to get through bad movies). Must have been a lean year for both of them to sign up for this movie. Washing cars for a living would probably look pretty good to them by now. And the bad guy......if he was so bad why didn't he just shoot all those rich College kids instead of promising toilet breaks. Even the title was a misnomer. A 'Crash Landing' means the plane actually crashes and doesn't just land without even a token fire or anyone being injured. Instead of landing safely the plane should have crashed and burned just like the script.
THIS MOVIE IS A STINKER !
THIS MOVIE IS A STINKER !
An utter wreck of a movie
TheLittleSongbird27 January 2013
Even if not expecting a huge amount in the first place, you do not expect to see a movie this bad. This was exactly the case with Crash Landing, the only good thing being how well it managed to live up to its title. It is very choppily edited, almost as if the whole movie was made in a desperate rush. The story didn't involve at all, and further disadvantaged by sluggish pacing, too many ridiculous moments to list and the action-like sequences hopelessly contrived. The characters are little more than walking clichés that we learn nothing about and end up hating so much, while the acting is terrible especially from that non-entity Antonio Sabbato Jnr. But if there is anything that fared the absolute worst here, it was the dialogue, it was laughably cringe worthy and the cheese factor is constantly hit right at you. In conclusion, an utter wreck with nothing to redeem it other than the irony of its title. 1/10 Bethany Cox
I think I just lost 20 IQ points...
Crimson-Phoenix25 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The idea that anyone could of concocted such a trite, cliché, yet indeliberately comical movie is shocking. The final 20 minutes of this film are comical glory; with six men digging enough trench in 10 minutes to light the runway with gasoline for a 747, while a supposed 'major' perfectly lands the 747 in a 110mph crosswind - leading one to question the misnomer of calling this movie CRASH LANDING...
Some of the dialogue was equivalent to rubbing sandpaper in my ears, while the only aspect that saved this movie for a 1 was the plethora of attractive women filling the screen a large portion of the time. Not exactly a consolidation for this pathetic excuse of a movie, but my mute button finally received a workout.
View at your own risk! 2 out of 10
Some of the dialogue was equivalent to rubbing sandpaper in my ears, while the only aspect that saved this movie for a 1 was the plethora of attractive women filling the screen a large portion of the time. Not exactly a consolidation for this pathetic excuse of a movie, but my mute button finally received a workout.
View at your own risk! 2 out of 10
We have a winner!
amdp8 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Oh man, where to begin: Take a washed-up actor with a generic stock character name accompanying a stereotypical rich-girl.
Add your generic bad-guy crew completely devoid of charisma and acting ability.
Add your unbelievable action scenes, meaning it cannot be believed! A gunfight in a rear of the plane with no stray bullets causing damage to the plane or other passengers! Antonio Sabato, Jr. escaping gunfire by hiding behind an aluminum container! (Note the hull is damaged by same gunfire.) A struggle in which a person shot in the chest no-sells the injury and fatally wounds his attacker! A decompression which doesn't suck anyone out of the plane! An Army Corps Engineering Unit able to "create a 100 foot runway extension" in 20 minutes! A Boeing 747-100 (or is it a 767-300?) not needing reverse thrust to land on a narrow atoll! The subdued hijacker, who manages to free himself after capture, not bouncing around like a pinball during the "crash landing!" All of which leads to a climax that is truly award-worthy... a Razzie award! Oh, and screw the injured and dead flight crew, there's steak on the BBQ! Best. Movie. Ever. 9 out of 10 for sheer camp value.
Add your generic bad-guy crew completely devoid of charisma and acting ability.
Add your unbelievable action scenes, meaning it cannot be believed! A gunfight in a rear of the plane with no stray bullets causing damage to the plane or other passengers! Antonio Sabato, Jr. escaping gunfire by hiding behind an aluminum container! (Note the hull is damaged by same gunfire.) A struggle in which a person shot in the chest no-sells the injury and fatally wounds his attacker! A decompression which doesn't suck anyone out of the plane! An Army Corps Engineering Unit able to "create a 100 foot runway extension" in 20 minutes! A Boeing 747-100 (or is it a 767-300?) not needing reverse thrust to land on a narrow atoll! The subdued hijacker, who manages to free himself after capture, not bouncing around like a pinball during the "crash landing!" All of which leads to a climax that is truly award-worthy... a Razzie award! Oh, and screw the injured and dead flight crew, there's steak on the BBQ! Best. Movie. Ever. 9 out of 10 for sheer camp value.
Entertainment Lives!!!
tomsack21 December 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The "Cheese" was not spread thinly as this movie was so great for an entertainment venture as I watched it on ShowTime. The "cartoon effect" especially of aircraft in the beginning was really special and as it appeared throughout the movie. Antonio Sabato could play a young Arnold Schwarzenegger (my opinion only) and was the best actor in the whole movie. Military protocol was embarrassing and the "slipping" of the 747 in the 100 something naught wind was just too much as I thought I saw them "slip" at a 90 degree and
touch down at the same time
at 90 deg? I loved the movie with all its quirks and the planeload of chicks was special.
Mildly entertaining here and there
Leofwine_draca10 February 2015
CRASH LANDING is a cheapo DIE HARD on a plane type film which runs out of steam around two-thirds in, turning into a cheapo disaster-type flick instead. Although it's pretty shoddily made and offers only mild entertainment value to the seasoned viewer, I have to say that it's the best film I've seen from B-movie director Jim Wynorski to date.
An ever-youthful Antonio Sabato, Jr. stars as a security guard working aboard a private plane that gets taken over by a terrorist gang. The usual low-rent shoot-em-up heroics ensue, all of them handled adroitly by the cast and crew; there's absolutely nothing here we haven't seen before, but the pot keeps on bubbling merrily away nonetheless.
Sadly, once the terrorist stuff is dispensed with, CRASH LANDING takes a nose dive for the worse, and even the presence of tough guy actor Michael Pare can't save it. Instead, we're bombarded with cheesy CGI effects and some hilarious plot holes (wait until you see what happens - or rather doesn't happen - to the pilot!). This hardly makes for a great film, but I've seen plenty worse recently so it didn't appear to be too bad overall.
An ever-youthful Antonio Sabato, Jr. stars as a security guard working aboard a private plane that gets taken over by a terrorist gang. The usual low-rent shoot-em-up heroics ensue, all of them handled adroitly by the cast and crew; there's absolutely nothing here we haven't seen before, but the pot keeps on bubbling merrily away nonetheless.
Sadly, once the terrorist stuff is dispensed with, CRASH LANDING takes a nose dive for the worse, and even the presence of tough guy actor Michael Pare can't save it. Instead, we're bombarded with cheesy CGI effects and some hilarious plot holes (wait until you see what happens - or rather doesn't happen - to the pilot!). This hardly makes for a great film, but I've seen plenty worse recently so it didn't appear to be too bad overall.
The Producer/Director Knows Nothing About Aircraft
byungdohsuh20 June 2009
The plane is a 747 Jumbo. The cockpit is located on the upper deck on a 747. In the movie the pilots do not climb the stairs in the 1st Class cabin to reach the cockpit. They walk to the front of the 1st Class cabin and through doors into the cockpit. What a gaff !!! The front of the first class cabin has a cloakroom for jackets and a TV screen. Beyond that is the radar dome. Before takeoff a 747 is shown to commence the taxi to the runway. On take-off the plane is shown to have only two engines. Areal 747 has four engines. Who was in charge of continuity on this movie ? During the early part of the flight the front of the plane suddenly includes toilets - another farcical gaff !!! After that the front of the plane becomes the rear and vice-versa. At this point I stopped watching. Absolute rubbish!!!
The worst I have ever seen....
jonjo622 July 2007
I can't believe that someone actually paid to have this film made. Stupid, unrealistic, and stereotypical. Right from the take off of the massive 747 the pilot pulled the throttles back to increase speed. then you have 5 armed persons with semi to fully automatic weapons firing without so much as one bullet breaching the walls of the pressurized cabin at 38,000 feet. Then once below in the belly of the plane a stray bullet hits a FUEL line and we see the fuel leaking from the side of the plane. The acting was just horrid and forced. There just didn't seem to be any direction. I have seen some pretty horrid B movies in my lifetime but with the names that were in this film I was extremely disappointed.
nothing new for this genre(and pretty boring) (4.5/10)
disdressed121 November 2007
i guess the problem i have with this movie is i have seen it before,and it's done better every time.for a movie about a plane being hijacked,this one has pretty much no thrills or excitement.and the acting is not the best i have seen,to be polite.i found the dialogue cringe worthy for the most part.and there doesn't seem to be a lot of realism to it either.EchoBridge has something to do with this production.i have seen a fair amount of their movies,and other than this one,i have thought they were well done.but everyone is entitled to a misstep now and then.besides,this is just my view of the movie.i would'nt say this is an awful movie.it's just nothing new for the genre,and it is pretty slow.i guess i'd give Crash Landing a 4.5/10
Worst movie ever
camylarde20 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
You have to see this. I could not stop laughing about the stupidities I saw in this movie even late after the event. There is maybe a million of individual mistakes and stupidities in this movie. The acting is bad. The story is so predictable and flat. The effects are like 50 years old. The supposed thriller is nowhere. You will not enjoy the movie, but you will laugh at it and enjoy laughing at it a long time after it. We had a great time AFTER the movie. Truly. Me and my friend spent entire 40mins long bus trip home chatting about this movie like we have seen next Oscar winner. Sadly we were talking about all those bad things we had just seen.
One of the worst
jamesd-2626 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I have seen three other movies that are worse than this one, "Plan 9 from Outerspace", "Side Hackers" and the dreaded "Blair Witch Project" There are so many technical errors in this movie that regardless of a decent plot the movie just isn't believable.
Let's start with an AMTRAK train with no skirts or handrails between cars. The killer walks up behind his victim as she moves from car to car and just pushes her off the train.
In one scene a killer sneaks into a woman's apartment. He wants to sneak up on the woman to kill her, so what does he do? He turns up her stereo! If I heard my stereo suddenly get louder I'd be concerned. He kills the women by throwing an electric hair curler into the tub. I was amazed to see that an electric hair curler with a five foot cord could be tossed ten feet and remain plugged in. Plus the apartment looked modern enough to have ground fault outlets in the bathroom and the victim was still electrocuted.
The Boeing 747 is one of the most well known commercial airliners on the planet so this part really amazed me. First the cockpit was not even close to a real 747 and second it wasn't on the top deck of the plane. I watched in utter amazement as the pilot and co-pilot (Where was the flight engineer?) walked right past the spiral staircase and headed forward toward's the nose of the airplane.
I was also amazed that bullets wouldn't penetrate an aluminum serving cart (good thing for our hero), or bathroom doors, but would penetrate the ceiling causing a fuel leak that exited through a small hole in the fuselage. Huh? Watching three guys lengthen a runway by 100 yards in less than a week was pretty amazing as well.
I didn't check, was this a movie of the week or something? It was terrible.
Let's start with an AMTRAK train with no skirts or handrails between cars. The killer walks up behind his victim as she moves from car to car and just pushes her off the train.
In one scene a killer sneaks into a woman's apartment. He wants to sneak up on the woman to kill her, so what does he do? He turns up her stereo! If I heard my stereo suddenly get louder I'd be concerned. He kills the women by throwing an electric hair curler into the tub. I was amazed to see that an electric hair curler with a five foot cord could be tossed ten feet and remain plugged in. Plus the apartment looked modern enough to have ground fault outlets in the bathroom and the victim was still electrocuted.
The Boeing 747 is one of the most well known commercial airliners on the planet so this part really amazed me. First the cockpit was not even close to a real 747 and second it wasn't on the top deck of the plane. I watched in utter amazement as the pilot and co-pilot (Where was the flight engineer?) walked right past the spiral staircase and headed forward toward's the nose of the airplane.
I was also amazed that bullets wouldn't penetrate an aluminum serving cart (good thing for our hero), or bathroom doors, but would penetrate the ceiling causing a fuel leak that exited through a small hole in the fuselage. Huh? Watching three guys lengthen a runway by 100 yards in less than a week was pretty amazing as well.
I didn't check, was this a movie of the week or something? It was terrible.
Literal title tells it all
xredgarnetx27 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
God, does Jim Wynorski have a decent film in him? And why do I watch his films? Why do I in fact own some of his films on DVD? Maybe because they are so bad, they are fun to watch -- with one eye closed. This time around, an actor with a dazed expression, permanently wrinkled forehead and absolutely no acting ability named Antonio Sabato Jr. (I love the "Jr." part) plays a special forces type named Major John Masters assigned to keep an eye on some billionaire's bubbled-headed daughter on a vacation flight. A sorry-looking group of terrorists take over the flight so they can ransom the daughter. Masters plays cat and mouse with them, just like Bruce Willis did in DIE HARD and Andy "Wishmaster" Divoff did in INTERCEPTOR. On the ground, we see the nervous billionaire and a general who spends the entire film in his undies, as he has been awakened at home to deal with the crisis. Played by old-time TV actors Kevin Dobson and John Beck, all these two guys do is stand around and spout bad dialogue. So does Michael Pare, given costar status as a Marine in charge of an atoll. He and his grunts are ordered by the general to lengthen their runway, in the middle of a "Force 3" hurricane, to allow the now-damaged plane to land (guess who's flying it). The wooden-faced Pare, once something of an action star, has the single best line in the movie, when he yells to his boys to go out and extend that runway, come hell or high water. They proceed to slowly get into these tiny earthmovers that go about 2 mph. It is hysterical and an absolute highlight of the movie. Another funny moment has the plane's passengers sliding down the emergency slide of the now-landed plane. The pilot was shot by one of the now-dead terrorists and requires a stretcher, which Sabato at least remembers to ask for before deplaning with the girl, now his amour, leaving the wounded pilot and a premed student on board. Sabato and the girl walk off camera, with Pare and his men right behind them -- and no stretcher in sight. The End. The fights during the flight are clumsily staged, in case you were wondering. Last but not least, you have never seen a jumbo jet like this, assuming you know anything about jets. Parts of it seem more like rooms in someone's estate. The CGI isn't bad, if obvious. A must-see for those who love really bad movies. Wynorski has been making films for 30 years, and each new one seems like his first. He is the Uwe Boll of STV.
Hokey Pokey
usedcars8024 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Man this movie is FAKE, almost to the point you can see the strings on the model plane they dangle as a prop. It's beyond predictable and the characters aren't likeable. You'd be better off watching paint dry or watching turtles cross a pasture. Director and writer created a piece of crap. I've seen better film on teeth that Haven't been brushed in a decade.
Not that bad
minty136427 June 2015
This was a run-of-the-mill kidnapping on an aeroplane movie. Though not the best of them, it's not the worst. I didn't find it funny, for those that did it may have been laughable, but it certainly isn't up there of being that bad it's that laughable. Maybe it was also because their attempts at humour and story were not exactly on key or in the right place. At least the group of young people on the plane were young adults in their twenties rather than teenagers which could have been dead annoying.
As I said, not the best but not the worst. Worth watching at least once and you can decide for yourself.
As I said, not the best but not the worst. Worth watching at least once and you can decide for yourself.
Action Flick with Antonio SABATO Junior
ZeddaZogenau18 April 2024
The only thing that's remotely interesting about this American-Canadian action film, which was just released on DVD, is the cast. The hero is the son of CINECITTA Divo and GOLDEN GLOBE winner Antonio Sabato (1943-2021), born in 1972. Antonio Sabato Jr. Had developed from a sexy underwear model to a busy actor in low-budget films.
Kevin Dobson (1943-2020), who had leading roles in the popular television series KOJAK and KNOTS LANDING, stars as the father of the spoiled little daughter who has to be saved by the hero. John Beck, who plays a general here, is also known from the television series FLAMINGO ROAD and DALLAS.
Kevin Dobson (1943-2020), who had leading roles in the popular television series KOJAK and KNOTS LANDING, stars as the father of the spoiled little daughter who has to be saved by the hero. John Beck, who plays a general here, is also known from the television series FLAMINGO ROAD and DALLAS.
Exhausted story with lackluster everything.
TwoDudeReviews22 March 2020
If you look at the back of the box, you know exactly how everything in the story will go. You don't like any of the characters, nothing is surprising, the action is boring. The plot is just garbage. An air Force cargo plane pilot is acting and treated as an action commando and allowed to be a bodyguard for a billionaire's daughter with no combat experience and allowed to bring a gun onto a plane? Just a taste of the disappointing nonsense.
The spoiler is that there's nothing to spoil!
krs-817 March 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Maybe this movie was actually intended to be satire like 'Airplane' but it failed at that as miserably as it failed at being a 'thriller'. I don't understand why they couldn't have paid an actual pilot a couple hundred bucks for a little technical advice. Hell, I would have done it for free! This magical aircraft managed to morph from a 757 to a 767 to a 747 in an hour and the power levers worked backward. And the dialog sounds like it came out the back end of a kid's game of 'telephone' where everyone spoke different languages. I actually rewound the TIVO and watched some of it a second time to see if it was really as bad as I thought at first. It was.
Comically entertaining
prasol9 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I would have given this film a one star vote had it not been for the laughs I got out of it. Some of the dialogs were just plain so lame that they make you laugh!! How could some one have actually talked like this. Not to mention the fact that the bodyguard Majors (Antonio Sabato Jr.) flew a 747 like a pro and Michael Pare's team of whiners were able to dig a trench filled with gasoline and blow up a huge boulder in the nick of time. Did anyone notice the lame tribute to "Fantasy Island" with the guy saying "Boss, the plane!!" to Michael Pare just as the 747 comes in sight.
The only saving grace were the cute girls and even cuter female hijackers. Not to mention that the main hijacker deserved to die the lame death that he did for being such a joker!! Imagine escaping from being tied up just to shot by a "crossbow". Hello.
The poor pilot probably died in the plane while everyone was eating steak and having rum!! Just for laughs, they should make a sequel to show us how they all spend the night in the midst of a Category 3 hurricane on Neptune Atoll. Did I hear Michael Pare calling it the "best honeymoon resort in the Pacific." Now that would make an interesting movie!!
The only saving grace were the cute girls and even cuter female hijackers. Not to mention that the main hijacker deserved to die the lame death that he did for being such a joker!! Imagine escaping from being tied up just to shot by a "crossbow". Hello.
The poor pilot probably died in the plane while everyone was eating steak and having rum!! Just for laughs, they should make a sequel to show us how they all spend the night in the midst of a Category 3 hurricane on Neptune Atoll. Did I hear Michael Pare calling it the "best honeymoon resort in the Pacific." Now that would make an interesting movie!!
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