Crash (I) (2004)

Ludacris: Anthony

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Quotes 

• Anthony : Look around! You couldn't find a whiter, safer or better lit part of this city. But this white woman sees two black guys, who look like UCLA students, strolling down the sidewalk and her reaction is blind fear. I mean, look at us! Are we dressed like gang-bangers? Huh? No. Do we look threatening? No. Fact, if anybody should be scared around here, it's us: We're the only two black faces surrounded by a sea of over-caffeinated white people, patrolled by the triggerhappy LAPD. So you tell me, why aren't we scared?

  Peter : Because we have guns?

  Anthony : You could be right.

• Lucien : You watch the Discovery Channel?

  Anthony : Not a lot.

  Peter : They got some good shit on that channel.

  Lucien : Every night there is a show with somebody shining a little blue light and finding tiny specks of blood splattered on carpets and walls and ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures and special-edition plastic Burger King tray cups. The next thing they show is some stupid redneck in handcuffs who looks absolutely stunned that this is happening to him. Sometimes the redneck is actually WATCHING the Discovery Channel when they break in to arrest him. And he still can't figure out how on earth they could've caught him!

  [pauses] 

  Lucien : Psst. Do I look like I wanna be on the Discovery Channel?

  Anthony : No.

  Lucien : Then get the fuck outta my shop.

• Anthony : That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.

  Peter : So, uh... how much did you leave?

  Anthony : You expect me to pay for that kind of service?

• Anthony : Listen to it man. Nigga this, Nigga that. You think white go around callin' each other "honky" all day, man? "Hey, honky, how's business?" "Going great, cracker, we're diversifying!"

• Anthony : You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get?

  Peter : You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.

  Anthony : That woman poured cup after cup to every single white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?

  Peter : We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?

  Anthony : And black women don't think in stereotypes? You tell me something man. When was the last time you met one who didn't think she knew everything about your lazy ass? Before you even open your mouth, huh?

• Anthony : You could fill the Staples Center with what you don't know.

  Peter : The Kings are playing tonight.

  Anthony : You don't like hockey! Only reason you say you do is to piss me off!

  Peter : ...I love hockey.

• Anthony : [as he let go all the Asian people that are in the truck]  Look, here's 40 bucks. Buy everybody chop suey. You understand?

  [an Asian man takes the money and doesn't say anything as he leaves] 

  Anthony : Dopey fucking Chinaman.

• Anthony : [while Peter takes his St. Christopher out of the stolen Lincoln Navigator]  Oh yeah, make sure you get that. Without him, things could've gone really fucking wrong tonight.

• Anthony : Get the fuck outta the car!

  Cameron : You get the fuck outta the car!

  Anthony : Get outta the fucking car!

  Cameron : It's my fucking car!

  Anthony : It's my fucking gun!

  [Cameron grabs Anthony's gun] 

  Cameron : Fuck, it's my gun now!

  Anthony : Gimme my fucking gun!

• Anthony : You wanna get killed, nigger?

  Cameron : [punches him]  Say that again, man. Call me nigger again.

  Anthony : You stupid motherfucker.

• Anthony : No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!

  Peter : I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.

  Anthony : You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?

  Peter : Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

• Anthony : Come on now! This is America. Time is money.

• Peter : Get the fuck out of the car!

  Anthony : Give me the keys!