Play-Mate of the Apes (2002 Video) User Reviews

Lesbianism, Fake Boobs, Monkey Suits......

[mmushrm · 5/10 · 9 February 2011]

This is a bad movie BUT it is intended to be a bad movie and does not take itself seriously at all. It is basically a vehicle to show soft core lesbian porn. Hence Im giving it a 5/10.

Basically its Planet of the Apes with lesbians. And that is the entire plot and storyline.There is no special effects and the costumes were probably bought at the dollar store.

Now the important part: The Lesbianism. Now if you have no access to porn or live in a very prudish, morally "upright" and sexually uptight community you will love it. But other then that it is rather boring. I mean its simulated (badly) sex. You see hotter stuff on mainstream movies IMO. Personally I didn't care for it as there were too many overly large man made breast. Misty Mundae looks cute if you are into the lolita look.

The thing that really turn me off was how nasty one of the "actress" look. bad fake boobs and she looked like a monkey (bad botox shots probably).

In summary, movie is OK if you want a laugh...thats it.

Props 50$, Actors and Actresses $100 each, this movie - almost worthless...

[Animus · 5/10 · 17 August 2003]

So what can you do with 5 women who are willing to do very bad lesbian pseudo-porn, a dozen guys and all the leftover ape masks from the local halloween shop? Make this movie. Its bad, its supposed to be bad, but wow is this bad. If it weren't for Misty Mundae playing a girl stuck in a bad film, i might have simply turned it off, but she's actually funny and worth watching, (most of the rest of the film isnt).

How much Lesbian Action can you watch?

[caspian1978 · 5/10 · 16 August 2002]

EI Entertainment has one of the hardest jobs in the world. It's safe to say that about 99% of the movies they make are pure crap. What do you get when you take a number of recycled lesbian sex scenes with some quick and unwitty humor......a Seductive Cinema Classic....which says a whole hell of a lot. Still, that 1% that EI producers is pure magic. Most of the time they just point the camera at Misty Mundae and the audience is happy. As a matter of fact, the only good reason to watch most of the garbage that EI makes is Misty Mundae. The same goes for Play-Mate of the Apes. Yes, there's some college "frat house" humor, but the only good reason this flick is worth a crap is the very innocent and very young "eye candy" known as Misty Mundae. If you don't expect much from a production company that would be out of the business if they weren't allowed to tape lesbian love action, this one is highly worth watching. Then again, if you just want to see people on screen having sex, leave this one on the shelves and go rent some XXX adult cinema like any normal person in the video store.

Okay...

[TheGreenSaga · 12 November 2003]

I was at my sister's house in Queens, staying the night, and I happened to be browsing through the channels. Cinemax, forever known as Skinemax, happened to be playing this movie.

It was.... interesting.

I happened to stay tuned throughout most of the film, every once in a while just finding the need to shut it off and read George Gipe's adaptation of Gremlins.

It was funny, and I'm being honest. It was so ridiculous that it was pretty funny. The guys in the ape suits were so incredibly cheesy that they made no effort to cover it up. There's a scene at the end where one of the girl puts on one of the ape masks, just so anyone at home who hasn't figured it out already will know that they are only masks.

So there were sex scenes, then apes talking, then more sex scenes, then apes dancing, then more sex scenes, then apes fighting.

You will not find much pleasure in this movie unless you have a severe Furry fettish.

The best part of the movie was the disco-ball spaceship at the end. I mean, come on. You can't beat that. It's just funny. They didn't even spend any time bluescreening it. It was just a disco ball matted onto the background with some sort of blue light around it.

If you're a porno addict, then I guess enjoy yourself (but not too much), but beware of guys in ape suits.

If you like bad movies, then watch this right after you watch Manos and Plan 9.

female on female simulated skin flute

[Son_of_Mansfield · 5/10 · 24 July 2003]

There are nearly no good technical aspects of this film with the possible exception of the first half of the beginning titles sequence and some occasional bits of good music. This will not bother most of the people that watch this movie. I came for nudity. You will find it here. I wanted silly humor. It will be there. I craved Misty Mundae, the woman without clothes, or as she is referred to in this film, White Thighs. Also, Darian Caine, Anoushka, Sharon Engert, and Shelby Taylor join Misty. The scenes with Anoushka and Sharon Engert are some of the most horrific I have ever seen, two giant piles of silicone rubbing each other, not how I want my kicks. Shelby Taylor has a full voice and attractive face, she would have been more fun to watch without implants as well. Misty may be small and pale, but I will take this pale rider over every playboy playmate any day of the week. Together they are in a flick with little replay value, so enjoy it the first time. The remake of Planet of the Apes is jabbed at, although it was itself enough of a joke that the jest is unnecessary.

Another skin-flick spoof of a popular movie...

[elbaso · 4/10 · 28 February 2004]

This movie is pretty silly, and the gorilla costumes are bad-Holloween quality. One of the gorillas is bright pink! It's kind of fun to watch, more interesting than the normal fare on Cinemax (a.k.a. Skin-emax!). I do have to say that the acress credited as the Barbarian Queen has the largest chest I've seen in movies, and is not shy to show them! Most of the sex scenes in this movie are girl-girl anyway. There seems to be a string of movies like this that spoof popular movies. Lord of the G-string is another. Same actresses, sort of funny. You can tell they're having a good time making the flick. Let's face it, if you're watching these movies, it's not for the plot.

An Honest Review

[generationofswine · 1/10 · 8 April 2020]

Were you expecting monkey sex? Be honest. I'll admit I was kind of thinking monkey sex when I picked it up.

Kind of disappointed wasn't it? At least have two people dressed up as apes ala The Bloodhound Gang going at it.

Do you have that song stuck in your head now? The Bad Touch? Be honest, it's OK, the Bloodhound Gang was a fun band. Nothing to be ashamed of there.

Anyway.... What you do get is lesbians and fake boobs and cheap humor and a pink gorilla.

What you don't get is an adaptation of Planet of the Apes that is any real fun. And that is what you are looking for isn't it? It's not really monkey sex, you were kind of looking for a soft pornographic spoof of a science-fiction classic.

And as fun as it was, it kind of failed in the spoof department. I'd honestly give it 10 stars if it had any other title, just because you expect cheap humor and boobs from movies like this. But with a title like "Play-Mate of the Apes," you also expected the humor to be more relevant to Planet of the Apes and it failed to deliver that.

A campy T&A SF film that rates a 3 rating, but shouldn't be missed.

[bhjunkmail · 3/10 · 6 September 2003]

As movies go, it stinks. But it's so campy, it's worth watching for the skin & the laughs. It's like a Grade B mix of "Planet of the Apes" and a version of the 1959 "Immoral Mr. Teas".

Put the kids to bed, kick back, pop the top on a couple cold ones, & enjoy it.

Thanks

[BungleJohn · 2/10 · 17 April 2003]

Just caught the comment about the scarecrow scene in Play-Mate Of The Apes. Since I'm the guy that played the part, I just wanted to say thanks for noticing me!!! The scene is a little over the top though and not to mention a blatant rip off of a scene from Top Secret. It was a lot of fun to work on though and I'd do it all again!!!

Dumb softcore spoof of a sci-fi classic

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 12 October 2016]

Seduction Cinema's latest cinematic epic is yet another no-budgeted offering packed with simulated sex and not a whole lot else. Obviously using the 2001 remake of PLANET OF THE APES as a basis, director John Bacchus and his crew take the opportunity to poke fun at the characters and plot of the movie, as well as throwing in some predictable dialogue references and Charlton Heston moments into the blend.

The rest is an often dire movie that will only appeal to fans who know what to expect from the studio's unique brand of less-than-stellar entertainment, i.e. lots of beautiful, typically surgically enhanced women engaging in mucho lesbian activity with nary a male in sight. Utilising a female cast which includes scream queen Debbie Rochon (sadly hidden in bad make-up and thus unable to take part in the sexual shenanigans), blonde bimbo Shelby Taylor, the sultry Darian Caine, and up-and-coming cult icon Misty Mundae, 90% of this film's running time consists of unconvincing staged antics as the various female characters lose what little clothing they have and basically fondle each other.

Otherwise the film attempts to be a dumb comedy and succeeds more often than not, with loads of bad "banana" jokes and overacting like there's no tomorrow. Humour is particularly strained and lacking in all areas. Being a science fiction film the requisite special effects of spaceships flying through space and landing in forests are horrendously bad but somehow still appealing via some tacky charm. The "apes" consist of guys in jeans and shirts running around with ape masks and hands and the apparent ideal footwear for astronauts is a pair of trainers wrapped in silver foil. Often the acting is incredibly bad from the female cast members, check out the opening scenes aboard the spaceship for evidence of this - especially the girl playing the Russian. In the same scene, also listen out for special effects which have astonishingly been stolen from the computer game Doom (the sound of the door closing)!

Eventually the plot evaporates completely and the inevitable 'wandering around in the woods' scenario takes over, complete with lots of bizarre and openly silly dance routines which smack of desperation. Meanwhile the various sim-sex scenes are totally unerotic with the seemingly bored actresses going through the motions and not even attempting to act convincingly. If fake breasts, fake tans, tattoos, and copious groping, all set to porn-film music, sounds like your idea of fun then you might enjoy this film - but probably not.

It's HLA all the time, but it was still funny....I give it a B+

[Smooth B · 10/10 · 19 April 2003]

Are you sure this wasn't the latest installment of that lesbian porno franchise "Where The Boys Aren't"? If you don't know what HLA means, it means "Hot Lesbian Action", and there was plenty of it in this flick. These women like nothing more than to have girl-on-girl fun from beginning to end. Granted, I haven't seen a film on Skinemax that had this many girl-girl scenes (usually there's only one or two a film, if that), but the funny sequences and the tongue-in-cheek dialogue scores points with me.

It starts out with three women from Earth cruising in outer space. Commander Gaylor, the star of the film (Misty Mundae, who looks like she's 15, honestly) is asleep in her chair. Lt. Fornication, a blonde with huge knockers (Sharon Engert) and Lt. Pushkintucushkin, a tall European girl with silver hair (Anoushka) start the girl-girl fun with a scene right off the bat.

Lt. Fornication begins screaming loudly, flailing her left hand dangerously close to a button that....and I'm just guessing here....does something wrong. This wakes up the commander, but it's too late....they crash land on a planet filled with apelike creatures who stand upright and talk like humans.

If you haven't realized it yet, this movie is a spoof of "Planet Of The Apes." If the title didn't tell you that, well....by now you'd know.

What follows are tests and demonstrations on the now-captured trio by the apes, who have hilarious dialogue. Of course, this doesn't stop our three lovelies from having sex with each other at the drop of a hat. The apes also seem to have another woman captive, Dr. Cornholeous (Debbie Rochon, YOUR scream queen of the future). Don't worry, she has sex with the girls too.

Further on in the film, we find our three gals running through the forest (this time they've got clothes on, earlier in the film they're naked) when they stumble upon a Barbarian Queen, a good-looking brunette with huge knockers (Shelby Taylor). From here we have even more girl-girl sex, culminating with a four-way love fest with all the ladies involved.

There's a funny scene about 2/3 of the way through where the women are rapping...yes, I said it, rapping. If there's one scene you've gotta see, it's this one.

I'm not nitpicking here, but it seems that some of the sex scenes just seemed to go a bit too long. Maybe it's because of the exaggerated movement, but a few of them did seem that way. Seeing big boobs all over the place made up for that, though.

The ending was pretty anticlimactic, but that's alright....I really didn't expect this film to have much of an ending.

Women: A+ (There were five principal women in this film, and all of them brought that little "something extra". For those guys who like women who look like, but aren't teenagers, there's Misty. For those who are suckers for big boobs, like me, there's Shelby Taylor and Sharon Engert. For those who like the exotic types, there's the tall, leggy Anoushka. Did I forget about Debbie Rochon? Well, she's here too. There's something for everyone here!)

Sex: A- (It's all girl-girl, but it's still something. A few scenes seemed to drag on ad infinitum, which means I gotta take off 2/3 of a point. The number of three-ways and that four-way toward the end keeps the grade high.)

Story: C (I'll be generous and give this film a Story grade of C. The writers of this script must be commended for throwing enough funny moments in there to break up the "monotony" of sex scene after sex scene. At least these writers acknowledge that the plot IS a vehicle to link the sex scenes together. For that, you folks get a C.)

Overall: B+ (This was a funny film, despite the sex scenes that seemed to go on forever. Can we get some more women in softcore who look like Shelby Taylor and Sharon Engert? Please? I'll be looking for more Seduction Cinema flicks in the near future if they're as entertaining as this one.)

One hilariously bad trip

[TheGnostic85 · 7/10 · 8 June 2012]

Anyone expecting profundity from a film called "Play-Mate of the Ape" is bound to be disappointed. And if you're hoping for scenes of guys in bad monkey costumes having sex with human girls, you're also going to walk away empty-handed. If, on the other hand, you're looking for about 90 minutes of baked humor and lesbians, then this might be just the kind of movie you're looking for.

The plot is stupid, even by the low standards of porn - three lesbian astronauts crash their ship onto a planet where sentient apes rule. They're captured and forced into slavery, but are liberated by a lesbian chimp and her pink gorilla sidekick. Almost every conceivable excuse for a lesbian sex scene is introduced, and eventually, a ridiculously cheap-looking uprising breaks out.

The sex scenes are all too long, and the production values are virtually non-existent, but luckily, this film has Misty Mundae, who is not only cute and sexy, but also possessed of incredible charm and a terrific ability to laugh at herself. It also helps that the writers were clearly having a ball banging out the script; the stupid jokes provide some welcome relief when the sex scenes become tedious...

Misty Mundae - It's that simple

[ShaneLords · 10/10 · 26 June 2003]

There is one reason to watch this movie. That's Misty Mundae. The movie is campy, funny in spots, has a completely ridiculous story line, and the worst ape costumes ever shown on film. But if you want to see why Misty Mundae is the hottest babe on film right now you'll buy or rent this flick right now. Misty is naked almost throughout the entire movie. Her youthful appearance and innocent looks keep you hoping for more and more of her. She gives a completely believable performance in every sex scene she's in and she's in almost every one of them. The lesbian scenes are steamy, always pairing Misty with an older woman. Misty holds your attention whether she's in a 1 on 1 scene or a lesbian orgy. The director should also be credited with not cutting the scenes short. Giving Misty's audience the chance to to see her put through her lesbian paces. I rate this movie a 3 out of 5. I rate Misty's performance a 4.5.

Funny as hell

[Trump-4 · 1 July 2003]

Man I started watching this movie and took it off after 5 mins because it was going so stupid but then a week later I put it on in the middle of the scene where the apes where showing off their dancing skill and I almost died laughing, this is THE most absurd thing I have ever seen. Clearly these were people with left over costumes who made this movie with NO BUDGET. They dont haven have more than 3 of any one ape costume, there is a florescent pink ape for Christ's sakes. I recommend this one to anyone.

It's a fun movie for pity's sake!

[djamesrock · 6/10 · 23 September 2006]

I'll join the chorus to say that the lesbian scenes go on too long and too often. Giant silicone breasts don't do much for me, and Misty's booty shake is worth all of those silicone sacs put together. Also, I will never get tired of seeing women running around in the woods naked.

This film is completely self-aware of its failings. How often does that ever happen anywhere? For that reason I would be willing to say that watching this movie is somewhat refreshing.

I liked Darian Caine in her role as Uvula. I felt positively bad for her when, during one of the dance scenes, she walked away dejected because she was the only one who wasn't able to dance. Poor Uvula. Darian did well with the role she was given. She is also smokin' hot, which doesn't hurt.

It was genuinely funny - and not for unintentional reasons. I laughed out loud on a number of occasions on well-delivered jokes. The lemonade stand scene in particular made me laugh out loud.

Others have remarked on the weakness of the costumes and effects. Yes, there is a guy in a pink gorilla costume, and while the extras all wore various off the shelf monkey masks, the main ape characters wore full-on Planet of the Apes makeup. The three characters who wore the full get-ups were able to convey emotion and reaction through the masks. For a soft-core lesbian porn flick it really doesn't get much better than that.

Enough care and thought went into this movie to make it watchable, yet it never takes itself seriously. They went to the length to put together some decent costumes and a couple of CGI effects to at least get a working film. None of which were very well done, but at least they were there. They could have gotten away with much less.

I've watched this movie repeatedly and I will give it another go-around someday. Well worth the time.

People Need To Review A Film For What It Is.... Seriously

[danthewrestlingmanorigin · 9/10 · 31 October 2006]

Many might wonder why I give this film a near perfect rating, and to be honest you have to review a film for what it is, and as a goofy soft core spoof, this delivers, plain and simple. My only complaint was Debbie didn't have a love scene in the ape makeup, now that would have been hot, and don't judge me, you know you were all thinking the same thing. As for the goodies, the film is all girl on girl scenes, and they rank among Seduction Cinema's best. The humor is all campy and goofy fun, but really that amounts to maybe ten minutes of the movie, as the rest is all sweaty love making action, which is what anyone watching a movie titled Playmate Of The Apes would be looking for, so lighten up all you stuffy Roger Ebert types, this isn't meant to be Casablanca. So basically if your into this, go buy the DVD and see the brilliant masterpiece that made Misty Mundae a superstar.

Not bad for a Low Budget Film

[higginsc · 21 April 2002]

I bought this DVD at the Chiller in NJ. I had the pleasure of meeting Misty Mundae and Darian Caine and they signed my DVD. I had no idea what to expect because I had no idea what the movie was about.

When I got home and popped it in I laughed out loud. The movie was a low budget troma type film. I laughed non-stop through most of the movie. The jokes in the film mostly made fun of Planet of the apes and Tim Burtons remake. Its was funny to say the least.

The make up was horrible and they knew it so they seemed to use this to an advantage which made it even funnier. Some of the costumes were pretty cool but others just down right sucked which I found hilarious.

I am a huge Planet of the Apes fan and I would recommend watching this at least once in your life time.

A hot and wild take on the famous movie

[warrior-21 · 10/10 · 27 February 2002]

This funny version consists of three horny women(astronauts) who fall upon this planet in the most peculiar way. Jokes about the movie are thrown around in addition to some very hot and wild scenes. This is a don't miss cannot tell you anymore for fear of ruining a great time.

The finest film of the 20th century

[humbugfilms · 2 July 2004]

From the first fake boob jiggle as the spaceship crashed to the final naked dance scene this film never failed to please. It's play on the absurdity of American Pop Culture mixed with the exceptionally sexy Misty Mundae made this film a joy to watch. It's a wonderful testament to the inventiveness and pioneering spirit of B-Movie film-making. It succeeds in mocking its source material, its audience, and itself all at the same time. It also delivers on the flesh, though, at times it almost seems to be mocking sex as well as everything else.

A must see for any fan of the genre. Misty Mundae, you are a goddess. Keep 'em comin'.

Silly, sexy FUNNY as hell

[chet19 · 8/10 · 11 March 2002]

A goofy movie, but I could NOT turn it off! There's a few lesbian making out scenes and plenty of nudity, but this isn't just some soft porn thing. Three hot astronauts go to Ape-infested planet and encounter a pink gay ape, and many others. It really is funny. I thought it would get boring, but I laughed at several parts. Misty Mundae is great as this annoyed, always frustrated spaceship captain. This is worth renting.

Watching your mom kiss your sister will turn you on more

[saireeea · 19 April 2004]

Mindy Mundae stars in this flick about....well chicks and apes. The movie is so incredibly bad that it needed a second viewing by myself (for laughs).

During this flick you will see bad lesbian action, so bad, that watching your mom kiss your little sister goodbye will give you a hard on more than this flick will. The chicks featured in this film, are not good looking and some even sport some new scars from breast surgery....but hey not to worry because there is an animated disco ball that appears every now and then when the bad actors are not trying to make out that takes your mind off of what could have been the soft core porn of the century.

There is no plot. There is no reason to watch it but if bad soft core porns are up the alley for you....hey you got yourself a movie.

Did they go over the $2 K Budget?

[jackstone · 10/10 · 27 July 2003]

A reminder of old drive-in fare we would watch and die laughing. It's really worth seeing, everyone needs something funny at the bottom of the heap. Roger Cormanish except for the sex and the pink ape outfit. Good for guys to see with a couple sixes of Sam Adams.

really odd

[uj6238 · 18 January 2004]

sadly i saw this movie on cinemax..strange and really bad..attempts at humor are hit and miss with emphasis on the miss. Not worth a rent but if it comes on your cable network give it a go. very cheaply made and bottom of the barrel playmates.

For This Type of Film It's Not Too Bad

[Michael_Elliott · 10 January 2012]

Play-mate of the Apes (2002)

** (out of 4)

This erotic take-off on PLANET OF THE APES is certainly nothing special but for a Seduction films I must say it's a mini-masterpiece. Three female astronauts (led by Misty Mundae) crash on an unknown planet where the humans are scum and everything is ran by apes. Soon an ape scientist becomes curious about why Mundae can talk and then we have several sex scenes. The talking and sex really don't have anything connecting them but when you come into a movie like this you really shouldn't expect anything other that softcore scenes. I must say that there's quite a bit more than just your sex-loaded stuff here because at least they tried to do something more and I must say that there's quite a bit of imagination scattered through. I thought there were actually some fairly funny one-liners and yet many of them are homages or nods to those in the original Charlton Heston film. We even get some jokes aimed at the NRA and the "dirty apes" bit is used nicely here. I also like the majority of the ape outfits even if they were just Halloween masks. I thought some of them were rather creative and added to the characters and this is especially true of a hot pink ape constantly running around. With all of that said, the main draw here is going to be those looking for sex scenes. I'd say at least an hour of the 90-minute running time is devoted to the slow motion sex scenes. For the most part they're entertaining and well-shot but I've always wondered how much time is added by shooting them in slow motion. The other draw is going to be for Mundae. Listen, I understand why there's a large debate whether she's a sex goddess or not. If you're into natural looking girls then she's going to be your cup of tea. If you prefer the fake breasted girls then have no fear because the cast is full of them. Mundae is the only one trying to act as everyone else falls well short of the type of acting you'd see in a strip club.

Uhhhhhh.....Huh?

[filmfan2 · 30 March 2003]

Ran across this on Showtime. yes,that Showtime! The one with "Queer as Folk" and its lone lesbian couple,Mel & Lindsay.

I can't see them renting THIS on a saturday night.

Not unless someone has rented the last copy of "Desert Hearts".

The "plot" concerns three butt ugly lesbian astronauts(do NOT make me repeat that!)who crash on an ape-infested planet. one of which is a stereotypically pink one named Dr. Queera!(the movie's one big laugh,actually)

If constant lesbian sex,bad dancing and acting and even worse RAPPING are your thing,grab a big,BIG bottle of wine and enjoy the carnage...you'll hate yourself later!