(1971)

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1/10
Pure torture from start to finish!
capkronos12 May 2003
Count Dracula's bearded, overacting nephew Count Talcum (?) skulks around Las Vegas in a suit, cape and bow-tie spying on and trying to pick up (some pretty haggard-looking) women. He acts like a third-rate lounge comedian and reads aloud from "1001 Ways to Seduce Women" while doing annoying double takes, running into doors and talking to the camera with his forced Lugosi accent. Meanwhile, people in the Vegas street scenes look at the camera in disbelief and we're subjected to more lame gags, terrible dialogue and irritating overacting. Now here's the confusing part of this short subject. Apparently there are two versions of it that were released to video. The first has hardcore sex scenes and the second version does not. I saw the latter and judging by the "actors" in this film, that's a blessing.

The longest cut of this film with the sex scenes intact is 45 minutes. At one time the X version was on a double tape with THE MAD LOVE LIFE OF A HOT VAMPIRE (which runs only 50 minutes). Both are from Las Vegas-based cult director Ray Dennis Steckler (billed as "Sven Christian" here) of THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES THAT STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES fame.
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1/10
What the hell?
preppy-310 April 2005
Dreadful "comedy" short.

A vampire (Victor Alexander) is reading a book called "1001 Ways to Seduce Women"--he's trying to figure out how to seduce women and suck their blood. That's about as funny as this crap gets. Alexander does constant double takes (mostly at nothing) and walks around in what is supposed to be an amusing manner. Also you see him go after a woman in broad daylight! At another point you see him put on an incredibly fake set of fangs to bite somebody(???). It all ends on a REAL stupid "joke" played on him.

Really...this boggles the mind. Did anybody making this really think it was funny? And all the women the vampire goes after are pretty ugly. The dumbest sequence has to be when they place a camera on the streets and people just gawk at it like idiots while they pass by.

Pointless, plot less and REALLY stupid. Avoid at all costs! Something Weird Video has it on a DVD with "Blood Suckers" and "Blood Thirst".
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