Bad Girls (1999–2006)

Stephanie Beacham: Phyllida Oswyn

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frances Myers : If I find anything you're mine, for a very long time.

  Phyl Oswyn : But my heart belongs to Daddy.

• Phyl Oswyn : [after Bev is back from seeing the guv]  So what did you tell that half-wit?

  Bev Tull : I went to tell her that you have nothing to do with my situation.

  [opens their secret drug cupboard] 

  Bev Tull : That you're clean.

  Phyl Oswyn : The piss tests will tell her that.

  Bev Tull : Oh, thank you.

  [pulls out some drugs] 

  Bev Tull : Oh, thank God I had a bit put by for emergencies.

  Phyl Oswyn : What are you doing?

  Bev Tull : Well, what's it look like?

  Phyl Oswyn : [tries to snatch the drugs]  You give me that!

  Bev Tull : [pulls away]  Look just get *off* me! You're not my keeper.

  Phyl Oswyn : God help you! If you mentioned anything!

  Bev Tull : Would I bite the hand that feeds? I took the rap for everything. I'd like to think we might take that into consideration for the future. Your business activities can continue? unhindered.

• Phyl Oswyn : [after seeing Neil Grayling approaching]  By your beds, here's Gaylord.

• Phyl Oswyn : [referring to Fenner's return]  At least we know what the topic of conversation is going to be for the next six months.

• Sylvia Hollamby : You! Tull!

  Bev Tull : [turns to face Sylvia and gasps]  Mrs. Hollamby, you look appalling!

  Phyl Oswyn : You've swollen up like a balloon.

  Sylvia Hollamby : No thanks to you. All that drink-your-own-urine nonsense. You've been having me on, admit it.

  Bev Tull : I've told you all I know. I mean, I never believed it would work because I never believed in the stupid curse in the first place. But, if you want to drink your own wee four times a day...

  Sylvia Hollamby : [interrupting]  Four times a day?

  Bev Tull : It's all to do with a regular dosage of uric acid.

  Sylvia Hollamby : You never said four times. I can barely bare to choke it down once a day.

  Bev Tull : Well, then don't. I mean, I'm only responsible for serving you tea and biscuits.

• Tina Purvis : What you playing at? I'm doing the sodding lot out here.

  Phyl Oswyn : Careful, Tina, the Voodoo Dolly might hear you.

  Sylvia Hollamby : I wouldn't let that concern you, O'Kane.

  [to Phyl and Bev] 

  Sylvia Hollamby : Seems that Voodoo Doll turned out to be my lucky charm - thanks to an inheritance, I'm a property millionairess. Now get off your backsides and start working or you're sacked!

• Julie Johnston : She didn't do it!

  Julie Saunders : Ju!

  Julie Johnston : I did it! I killed Fenner!

  Pat Kerrigan : No, you didn't! Neither of you did - it was me. I killed Fenner!

  Arun Parmar : No, she didn't - I did.

  Sheena Williams : No, I killed Fenner.

  Tina Purvis : No, it weren't - it was me. I killed Fenner.

  Janine Nebeski : No, piss on this! I killed Fenner.

  Darlene Cake : And me, I killed Fenner.

  [further inmates stand up announcing "I killed Fenner"] 

  Phyl Oswyn : It was bad enough before I went away, now it's a bloody mad house.

  Bev Tull : Welcome to the asylum!

  [she stands up] 

  Bev Tull : Actually, I killed Fenner!