Brimstone (1998–1999)
John Glover: The Devil, Angel
Photos
Quotes
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Ezekiel Stone : You loved her, didn't you?
The Devil : I never loved anyone but God, and that was a long time ago.
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The Devil : If it means anything, I'm sorry. Sort of. Well... no, I'm not.
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Ezekiel Stone : You really push a man to the brink.
The Devil : I am the brink.
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The Angel : Yours is a divine purpose, Ezekiel.
Ezekiel Stone : [referring to the Devil] He'd freak if he heard that.
The Angel : Good. Let him freak.
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[Stone brushes his teeth]
The Devil : Four out of five dentists surveyed agree, tooth decay is no longer a problem... once you're dead.
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[after Stone has sent two souls back to hell]
The Devil : Good work, Ezekiel. Two birds with one "Stone."
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The Devil : God's universe is not like the American legal system. You do something, you pay for it.
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[the Devil and Stone meet in an elevator for a conference]
The Devil : You know, before they invented the elevator, I had to walk all the way from hell.
Ezekiel Stone : Glad to hear it.
The Devil : Second throughts, Ezekiel?
Ezekiel Stone : Can't you find someone else to torture?
The Devil : Millions of them. They can wait. Everyone's in such a rush. I say, stop and smell the burning flesh of sinners.
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The Devil : You don't have any friends, Ezekial. You're not only really dead, you're really most sincerely dead.
Ezekiel Stone : Isn't that from "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Devil : I HATE that movie.
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[From the opening credits]
Ezekiel Stone : I was a cop. When my wife was raped, I caught the guy who did it, and I killed him. Two months later, I died. I went to Hell. A hundred and thirteen of the most vile creatures... escaped.
The Devil : They think they'll beat the Devil. Nobody beats me!
Ezekiel Stone : So how am I supposed to send them back?
The Devil : The eyes: windows to the soul. Destroy the eyes, and the damned get a one-way ticket back home to Hell. But it's not Hell you should be scared of. It's losing your second chance at life on Earth!
Ezekiel Stone : Time to give the Devil his due!
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[the Devil interrupts Stone as he's having breakfast]
Ezekiel Stone : What do you want?
The Devil : Your every waking moment consumed with holding up your end of our bargain.
Ezekiel Stone : Man's gotta eat.
The Devil : A living man, perhaps. But, for you, this would be classified as recreation. Like those idle thoughts of yours replaying that sweet bygone day over and over. As if, you're expecting a different outcome. Some people would call that insane.
Ezekiel Stone : Yeah? What would they call a conversation with the Devil over breakfast?
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Ezekiel Stone : Why don't you try and just enjoy some of the beautiful things in this world? Just one. Try it on for size.
The Devil : Believe me, it won't fit.
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The Devil : Vanilla? Where's the waitress? I only eat Rocky Road.
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The Devil : I have always advocated family values, all the way back to Cain and Abel.
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[Stone tries to convince the Devil to let him have a car]
Ezekiel Stone : It's not New York any more. Nobody wants to walk around here. Plus, the buses suck.
The Devil : Now wait a minute. Fifteen years in Hell, now you're back on Earth and you're complaining. Oh, because you have to walk. You're not going Hollywood on me, are you, Zeke?
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[about roses]
The Devil : Did you know the thorns were originally my idea?
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Ezekiel Stone : What the hell do you know about love?
The Devil : Love, the most delicious emotion of all. Without love you and I would be out of a job.
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[Stone defends killing his wife's rapist]
The Devil : Yes, yes, now that's what I like to hear. The indomitable spirit and righteous indignation of the human species. I've heard it a million times defending a billion atrocities, and it's still music to my ears.
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Ezekiel Stone : Do you know anything about faith?
The Devil : Faith? I was present at its creation.
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The Devil : Thanks to global warming, it gets more and more comfortable for me up here every day.
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Ezekiel Stone : Get out of my head.
The Devil : As if you could wrap your brain in barbed wire to keep me out. That is a delightful image, however.
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The Devil : More tears have been shed for answered prayers than for those that go unheard.
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The Devil : [mocking Ezekiel Stone for buying flowers for Lt. Ash] Will you listen to yourself? Take your head out of Cupid's ass, Ezekiel. You've got more pressing business to take care of.
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Ezekiel Stone : [seeing The Devil disguised as a motorcycle cop] Don't you know it's against the law to impersonate a police officer?
The Devil : What do you think you're doing, Ezekiel? You're impersonating a human being.
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Ezekiel Stone : You know, you should be grateful. You should be happy. Every week I send one of your sinners back to Hell. You do nothing but complain.
The Devil : Don't get so cocky, detective! You know what over-confidence leads to, don't you? You get bit in the ass!
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[Going through Stone's mail]
The Devil : Junk mail, mostly. One of my lesser triumphs.