Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series 1998–2007) Poster

(1998–2007)

Wayne Brady: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Drew Carey : Bad places to find advertising.

    [Ryan pantomimes looking over Colin while he's peeing] 

    Drew Carey : Must not have had a lot to say...

    [audience boos] 

    Drew Carey : I regret saying that, because the next card says "Little known, but amazing facts about Drew Carey".

    Colin Mochrie : I have no sense of length.

    Wayne Brady : When I'm with a woman, I go "Wooooooooo!"

    Ryan Stiles : Did you know at first Drew Carey turned *down* the role of Geppetto?

  • [quick change] 

    Ryan Stiles : You see this badge? That means I'm the sheriff.

    Wayne Brady : Change.

    Ryan Stiles : You see this thong?...

    [bursts out laughing] 

    Wayne Brady : Change.

    Ryan Stiles : You see these sandals? That means someone stole my boots.

  • Drew Carey : If celebrities had been the first people to walk on the moon.

    Brad Sherwood : One small step for man, one giant leap for me, Brad Sherwood. How are ya?

    Drew Carey : [as Brad sets off-stage]  Sorry, I said... I said, "celebrities."

    Brad Sherwood : Oh, I'm sorry.

    [the audience groans, then he starts whining] 

    Brad Sherwood : That was mean!

    Wayne Brady : [as Michael Jackson, moonwalking]  Hooo!

    Colin Mochrie : Where's my car?

    Ryan Stiles : [as Carol Channing]  Well this is dry and barren as I am.

  • [Scenes from a hat] 

    Drew Carey : Okay. Let's start out with...

    [pulls out paper] 

    Drew Carey : No... no.

    [puts paper back and picks a new one] 

    Drew Carey : "Bad choices for pets."

    Brad Sherwood : Here velocipraptor! Here velo-

    [Colin comes and pretends to bite his neck] 

    Ryan Stiles : [whistles]  Where's my little tapeworm? Huh?

    Drew Carey : Okay.

    [clears throat] 

    Drew Carey : "Strange things to find in your bed."

    Wayne Brady : Colin?

    [Colin pops his head up] 

    Wayne Brady : Ahhhhhhh!

    Colin Mochrie : Teach me how to sing like you!

    Ryan Stiles : [Ryan pops his head up]  What's his problem?

    Colin Mochrie : I don't know!

    Drew Carey : Oh, okay. Uh, "dangerous things to do while you are naked."

    Brad Sherwood : Honey, bring out the steaks. I'm gonna light the barbeque.

    Colin Mochrie : [sighs]  Okay.

    [Colin starts to pretend to throw chain saws into the air and juggle them] 

    Ryan Stiles : 5 minutes, Mr. President.

    Drew Carey : [laughs]  Okay.

    [reads card] 

    Drew Carey : Oh, boy. "Baby names that will someday get your child's ass kicked."

    Ryan Stiles : Oh, is Kick-My-Ass Hungry?

    Colin Mochrie : Come here... Colin.

    [Wayne and Brad pretend to go beat him up] 

    Drew Carey : Okay. "Little known facts about our host, Drew Carey."

    Ryan Stiles : What kind of middle name is "Alison?"

    Drew Carey : "Things you wished you hadn't said to the president."

    Colin Mochrie : Sure, I'll be your intern.

    Brad Sherwood : [acts like he's holding out a tray]  Cigarette? Cigar? Anyone?

    Ryan Stiles : [as if getting married]  I do.

    Drew Carey : Hey! Don't go away! There'll be lots of more Whose Line right after this!

  • Drew Carey : [scenes from a hat]  Things you do not want to hear your grandmother singing about.

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  Grandma likes to get freaky in the mornin', freaky at night! Freaky on the left...

    [buzz] 

    Greg Proops : [singing]  Grandpa doesn't touch me anymore!

    [buzz] 

    Ryan Stiles : [singing]  Oh, I put rat poison in the Christmas dinner.

    [buzzer; extreme laughter from Wayne] 

    Ryan Stiles : [goes back up]  I like to be on top!

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes from a hat]  Baby Drew's first words.

    Colin Mochrie : Colin's Bald!

    Wayne Brady : Hey Nurse, come on!

    Ryan Stiles : Pizza!

    Brad Sherwood : Show me them boobs! Come on!

  • Drew Carey : Naked photos you wouldn't want to see on the internet

    Wayne Brady : Hi, I'm Bea Arthur!

    Ryan Stiles : C-A-R-E-Y. Hmmm.

    Ryan Stiles : [Pretends to click away from the website. He then throws the computer out the window] 

    Drew Carey : Careful what you wish for Buddy...

  • [after a dance with Richard Simmons] 

    Wayne Brady : I feel ten pounds lighter and just a little dirty.

  • Drew Carey : Occupations where breaking into song is discouraged.

    Ryan Stiles : [pantomimes putting Colin into the electric chair]  We're... gonna... Fry you this morning, fry you this morning!

    Wayne Brady : [goes up with Jeff]  I'm sorry, but your husband... Isn't gonna make it isn't gonna make it, no, ain't gonna make it, isn't gonna make it...

    Jeff Bryan Davis : [continuing]  Isn't gonna make it!

    Colin Mochrie : [mimes trapping himself in a box]  I'm a MIME!

  • [after Colin's quirk of trying to figure out who's really a man and who's really a woman] 

    Drew Carey : [pulls out a can of Oust for Colin]  I have some disinfectant for your... .

    Wayne Brady : [acting as a little boy, to Kathy]  Mommy, will you show me tapes of when you used to do Whose Line?

    Kathryn Greenwood : [giggles and makes gestures of using a VCR remote]  Well, darling... .

    Drew Carey : That was amazing, Colin Mochrie.

    [audience cheers and applause] 

    Ryan Stiles : [calling off-stage]  Keith, I'm going to need two minutes.

    [everyone laughs] 

    Ryan Stiles : And I *mean* "two minutes"!

    Drew Carey : That was unbelievable!

    Wayne Brady : Let's hear it for Colin Mochrie!

    [starts a huge round of applause, then turns to Drew] 

    Wayne Brady : He's *so* gentle too!

    Colin Mochrie : [embarrassed]  Yeah.

    Drew Carey : So 1000 points to everybody *but* Colin, because I was sitting the entire time... waiting for you to come over...

    Ryan Stiles , Colin Mochrie : Ohhh.

    Colin Mochrie : [points at Drew and smiles]  There's no doubt about you, my friend.

    Drew Carey : [chuckles]  Yep, I'm all man.

  • Wayne Brady : [Song Styles - singing a song in the style of a boy band to special guest Miss America]  Hey, Miss America, what's up? I'm T.K.

    [moves over] 

    Wayne Brady : I'm B.J.

    [moves over again] 

    Wayne Brady : I'm J.J.

    [moves over again] 

    Wayne Brady : And I'm O.K.

  • Brad Sherwood : There's nothing better than a 200-pound snatch, if you know what I mean.

    [everyone dissolves into laughter] 

    Ryan Stiles : That's never gonna make it to air, if you know what I mean.

    Drew Carey : You are a bad...

    Brad Sherwood : That is a weightlifting term!

    Ryan Stiles : Of course it is!

    Wayne Brady : This show brought to you by the Church of Latter-day Saints.

    Drew Carey : [to the TV audience]  Hey, kids, how come you're not in bed right now?

    Brad Sherwood : [quoting a parent]  This is the last time you get to watch that show.

    Ryan Stiles : [to Wayne]  If you know what I mean.

    Drew Carey : Well, two hundred pounds for each of you, and...

  • [Party quirks] 

    Greg Proops : No. No! I'm just saying no to rugs.

    [doorbell] 

    Greg Proops : Come on in, Wayne! How's it going, man? W-welcome to the party.

    Wayne Brady : [as "Chicken With Attitude"]  Hmph.

    [walks in like a chicken and puffs up like saying "What you want"] 

    Greg Proops : Are you all right? You want some...

    Wayne Brady : ["No. Leave me alone!" kind of movement] 

    Greg Proops : Y-you want some corn or chips or something?

    [doorbell] 

    Greg Proops : I'm gonna...

    Wayne Brady : ["Answer the dang door!"] 

    Greg Proops : Woah, woah! I gotta get the door. Hello, Col. How are ya?

    Colin Mochrie : [as "A Person Who's Auditioning for Every Part in a Slasher Film"]  Here's my 8" by 10".

    Greg Proops : Uh... all right? Great.

    Colin Mochrie : All right? Here we go.

    [clears throat] 

    Colin Mochrie : Okay.

    [screams loudly] 

    Colin Mochrie : No, wait! I can do it better.

    [screams louder on higher pitch] 

    Colin Mochrie : No. I think maybe this part.

    [Covers hand over one eye and mimes stabbing someone while moaning] 

    Greg Proops : [doorbell]  Oh.

    [ducks under his arm] 

    Greg Proops : You have GOT to stop taking sudifed! Oh, hi Ryan! How are you?

    Ryan Stiles : [as "Excited by Ugliness and Looking for the Perfect Specimen"]  Great, how are you?

    Greg Proops : Fine.

    Ryan Stiles : Hey, thanks for inviting me. Can I meet your other guests?

    Greg Proops : Sure, no problem.

    [moves over to Wayne] 

    Greg Proops : This is a chicken. A funky chicken? No, he's not a chicken. A music chicken? He's a funky chicken? He's a chicken who thinks he's a rooster?

    Drew Carey : He's a chicken with an ATTITUDE.

    Greg Proops : Chicken with an attitude?

    [laughs] 

    Greg Proops : Ryan, have you met Colin. He's audtioning for a horror movie.

    Drew Carey : Every part in a horror movie.

    Greg Proops : [talking while Ryan, who's excited by ugliness in this role, is gazing at Drew Carey with facsination]  Listen... can I get you something? A glass of water or punch or something? Would you like a glass of punch or something?

    Ryan Stiles : Sure, Ryan.

    [pretends to spill invisible glass] 

    Ryan Stiles : Oops. I dropped it all over myself.

    [bends down to show Drew his butt] 

    Ryan Stiles : I believe I haven't met your other friend.

    Greg Proops : Oh, well this is Drew. He sits behind a desk and makes a lot more than us!

    [laughter from the audience] 

    Greg Proops : Hey, Drew. Have you met Ryan? He's trying to... seduce everyone he meets!

    Drew Carey : No.

    Greg Proops : He's a man who's attracted to everyone he meets? No? He's a man who's attracted to everyone he meets? He's a guy who's imagined that...

    Drew Carey : [interrupting]  Well, here he says that he's excited by UGLINESS!

  • Drew Carey : If songs were written about life's most embarrassing moments.

    Ryan Stiles : Where did all the toilet paper gooo?

    Kathryn Greenwood : I love you sooooo much- oops I farted!

    Colin Mochrie : Hey! That's me with the booger in my nose! Booger in my nose!

    Wayne Brady : We made love at 5:06. I was done by 5:07!

    Colin Mochrie : Hey I didn't mean to cook your dog! But hey, those things just happen! My was just standin' there, and his little toes they started tapping! So I cut his throat, let go kick a goat, and then I put him on the barbeque!

    [Ryan pulls him offstage, end of game] 

    Drew Carey : And I put him on the barbecue!

  • Ryan Stiles : [after licking Colin's ear, Ryan ate a handful of Altoids]  My mouth's on fire. I put about 30 of them in.

    Drew Carey : You know, these mints are curiously strong when you pop all of them in your mouth at once.

    Ryan Stiles : Wow.

    Wayne Brady : He's gonna have great breath for, like, 20 years.

    Brad Sherwood : Finally.

    Drew Carey : [Ryan spat out the Altoids]  Now the poor stage guy's gotta pick them all up...

  • Wayne Brady : Thank you for saving my husband.

    Ryan Stiles : Oh... you two are married?

    Colin Mochrie : It's nothing permanent.

  • Drew Carey : Things you don't expect to hear when you put your ear to a seashell.

    Ryan Stiles : [referring to last scene]  I'm Spartacus!

    Wayne Brady : Put me down!

    Robin Williams : Who's your daddy?

  • Wayne Brady : Order Colin Mochrie's guide to dialect in other countries now! You get French-"Helloo!", Spanish-"Helloo!", Indonesian-"HELLOO!"

    [Buzz] 

    Colin Mochrie : The Wayne Brady surfboard with a bump big enough to sit on!

  • [Scenes From a Hat - "What George W. Bush is really thinking during Cabinet meetings"] 

    [Wayne steps out, and stares around, signifying nothing; buzzer] 

    Greg Proops : What's the "W" stand for, anyway? Whatever...

    [Buzzer] 

    Colin Mochrie : There isn't even a cabinet in here.

    Wayne Brady : [Referring to an earlier joke]  That's where poo comes from!

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes from a Hat]  Heh heh. Th-things bald men are sick of hearing.

    Wayne Brady : [Goes up as does Colin. He folds his arms then Wayne hugs him. Colin walks off but Wayne motions him back on stage]  We need your head to bounce a laser of off to communicate with the satellite!

    Ryan Stiles : [Colin walks back but Ryan pushes him back on stage. He bends Colin's head down]  You're my only friend on this island.

    Wayne Brady : [He motions Colin back on stage]  No, I just had one! I don't wanna say anymore.

    Colin Mochrie : No, go on, it's comedy!

    Wayne Brady : Okay! Will Johnny take me to the prom?

    [Shakes Colin's head like a magic 8 ball] 

    Drew Carey : I'll stop it now for you.

    Colin Mochrie : Oh, thanks! Just in time.

    Drew Carey : I was just - suggestion there you know...

    Colin Mochrie : Yeah, stop at 10 I say!

  • Drew Carey : "Strange things for a doctor to say after 'Turn your head and cough'".

    Ryan Stiles : Would you like to go out to dinner sometime?

    Brad Sherwood : Do you smell bacon?

    Colin Mochrie : Alright, now bend over and sneeze

    Ryan Stiles : Now, here's how you throw a curve.

    Brad Sherwood : Maybe I should turn up the heat in here...

    Wayne Brady : [Makes a clacking noise] 

  • Drew Carey : Gifts the three wise men considered

    Wayne Brady : Mary, I give to you, a Playstation 2 for the child.

    Kathryn Greenwood : It's a Chia Pet!

    Ryan Stiles : [to Colin]  You can't give them a pork roast!

    Colin Mochrie : Water Skis.

    [Shrugs] 

    Wayne Brady : With these modivational tapes by Jack Robbins, your child will soar...

    Ryan Stiles : They call it... a thong.

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes From A Hat]  Inappropriate anecdotes on a celebrity talk show.

    Wayne Brady : [laughter]  ... no, so I left the body in the trunk, and everyone is like, "Ooh, what's that smell"?

    [buzz] 

    Colin Mochrie : ...so, things are tough, I'm a big ho. And...

    [buzz] 

    Colin Mochrie : I'm s...

    Robin Williams : ...so I said: "Get off me grandma, I'm done"!

    [buzz] 

    Wayne Brady : ...so, I'm looking through the window, and there's Robin and his grandmother, and I'm like...

    [buzz] 

    Ryan Stiles : So... anyway, long story short,

    [pointing at his wedding ring] 

    Ryan Stiles : this is the stone I passed!

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes From a Hat]  The good news and the bad news.

    Greg Proops : Merry Christmas, Tommy! Look, it's "Geppetto" on DVD.

    Wayne Brady : Ooh!

    [Drew presses the buzzer, tight-lipped, while the audience laughs and cheers] 

    Wayne Brady : I liked it!

    Greg Proops : I liked it, too.

    Wayne Brady : I was in it. I liked it.

    Greg Proops : [weakly]  The bad news was it was Christmas.

  • Drew Carey : If entertainers worked funerals.

    Wayne Brady : Please gather around the body. Whooof!

    [pantomimes removing the blanket] 

    Wayne Brady : He's not there anymore! Huh? Thank you!

    [takes a bow] 

    Robin Williams : Is this the loved one? Alright start the truck Johnny! WOW, LOOK AT HIM MOVE! Isn't that incredible, ladies and gentlemen? With just 6 volts, you can make your relatives dance again!

    Ryan Stiles : [Pantomimes opening the dead person's mouth and sticks his head in like a lion tamer in a circus act] 

    Colin Mochrie : [Pantomimes twirling the body like a balloon person]  A dog!

    Ryan Stiles : [Picks up body and holds it like a dummy]  Well, Harry and I would like to thank you all for coming by, wouldn't we Harry?...

  • [Quick Change] 

    Ryan Stiles : [discussing a map]  Well, it - it's - it's full of flaws. Look, this - this army's attacking Hawaii!

    Wayne Brady : Change.

    Ryan Stiles : Why - why the Salvation Army's attacking the restaurant here!

    Wayne Brady : Change.

    Ryan Stiles : Why uh... this is me, going after Richard Simmons!

  • Drew Carey : Welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like when I say 'I love you' when I'm drunk.

    Wayne Brady : No!

  • Wayne Brady : [as the Mission:Impossible informant]  As usual, if you or any of your team are caught or killed we will disavow any knowledge and laugh atcha'ass.

  • Drew Carey : Colin, Colin, another hundred dollars for you, buddy.

    [Drew and Colin kiss] 

    Ryan Stiles : That's just dirty money now.

    Drew Carey : How bad you want it, Mochrie? Come on, get your dirty money.

    Wayne Brady : He kissed really nice... For a dude.

    Ryan Stiles : I don't think the tongue was necessary, but I think...

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  I'm in love with a Canadian man...

    Drew Carey : Just when you thought "Will & Grace" was the gayest show on TV, along comes "Whose Line Is It Anyway".

    Ryan Stiles : Hey, uh...

    [Wayne, Colin, and Ryan indicate wedding rings, Drew and Jeff are unmarried] 

    Jeff Bryan Davis : [kisses Colin and grins innocently] 

  • Drew Carey : [scenes from a hat]  Difficult questions for mommy to answer.

    Wayne Brady : Mommy, how come no one looks like me on "Friends"?

    Colin Mochrie : Mommy, how come no one looks like *me* on "Friends"?

    Drew Carey : If you weren't listening, I said difficult questions!

    Colin Mochrie : I'm adorable.

  • Drew Carey : If famous movie lines were done by cartoon characters.

    Greg Proops : [as Scooby Doo]  Uh, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

    Colin Mochrie : [as Elmer Fudd]  Feeling wucky punk!

    Ryan Stiles : [as Popeye]  I'll be back-agagagagagagag!

    Colin Mochrie : [as Snagglepuss]  Rosebud, even!

    Wayne Brady : [as Yogi Bear]  Hey, Punk! Are you feeing lucky? Do you wanna see what's in my pic-a-nic basket?

  • Colin Mochrie : [as a pregnant mother in Quick Change]  Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

    Wayne Brady : Change.

    Colin Mochrie : Oklahoma!

  • Wayne Brady : [Scenes from a hat- What George Bush really thinks about during cabinet meetings]  So *that's* where poo comes from!

  • [Scenes from a Hat: What "Whose Line" Cast Members Wish for, when blowing out their "B"-Day Candles] 

    Wayne Brady : [Blows]  No more Hoedowns.

    Colin Mochrie : [Blows]  Let me play a Man in a scene.

    Ryan Stiles : [Blows]  Please, don't have Drew make me go under that desk again.

    Drew Carey : Young man, I'll see you at my desk.

  • [Hoedown - Scary Wives] 

    Wayne Brady : Oh I got married about a year ago. I'm as happy as can be, I think you all should know. But my wife, I'm glad I did marry. Except in the morning, she looks like Drew Carey.

    Drew Carey : Well, Wayne gets worried about his little wife, cause she is the love of his life. But every night, just about three, Oh, Wayne, She's out with me.

    [Wayne's mouth drops, and then they dance] 

  • [after singing a song as a strip-o-gram] 

    Wayne Brady : I feel so dirty!

  • Wayne Brady : Drew doesn't do a damn thing!

  • Drew Carey : [playing Scenes from a Hat]  "People you wish would just shut up..."

    Wayne Brady : [steps out]  People you wish would just shut up...

    Greg Proops : I'm Alex Trebek, and this is Jeopardy.

    [Buzz] 

    Greg Proops : Oh, I'm sorry, that buzz was too late.

    Greg Proops : I had an idea for a show! Four women with different viewpoints. Maybe too different!

  • Colin Mochrie : [Scenes from a hat- What really made the kids in Blair Witch run off screaming]  There's going to be a crappy sequel!

    Wayne Brady : His shoes, they're so blue!

  • Drew Carey : Confusing battle cries.

    Wayne Brady : Hurt you!

    Ryan Stiles : Don't shoot until you see the whites!

    Colin Mochrie : Give me liberty, or a bran muffin!

    Colin Mochrie : Get my brown pants!

    Wayne Brady : Every last one of us will defend the alamo, right?

    [looks behind him, sees nothing] 

    Wayne Brady : What the hell?

  • Drew Carey : "First Drafts of famous movie lines"

    Ryan Stiles : Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a lamb...

    Wayne Brady : Miss Scarlett, I don't give a burden about no Teletubbies!

    Chip Esten : I'll be back in a couple of minutes, I have some things I have to do, I'll be right back...

    Colin Mochrie : Fredzilla! Fredzilla!

    Chip Esten : Luke, I'm your second uncle twice removed

    Drew Carey : Alrighty "World's Worst person to be stuck with at a party"

    Colin Mochrie : Fredzilla! Fredzilla!

  • Drew Carey : Announcements made over Hell's PA system.

    Ryan Stiles : Attention. Will the owner of a Pinto, lisencse plate number...

    Wayne Brady : Tickets for Yanni, on sale in the lobby. Tickets for Yanni.

    Colin Mochrie : Clean up on aisle five.

  • Drew Carey : Take it away, Laura, whenever you're ready. The ugly hoedown.

    [the music begins playing] 

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  Let me tell you something that happened just the other day/My date was so ugly I almost ran away/She was just horrific, where can I begin?/When that heffer was born her mama should have pushed her back in.

    [spoken] 

    Wayne Brady : Ugly!

    Drew Carey : [singing]  I met a girl at a nightclub/It was pretty dark/Thought I'd take her home just for a lark/But when I saw her in the light I ran a mile/Cause she looked just like Ryan Stiles.

    [Wayne and Drew do a swing your partner dance and giggle while Ryan clearly prepares his response] 

    Colin Mochrie : [singing]  I'm an ugly woman/Yes, it is not fair/I have an ugly face and I have no hair/What can I do? That's the way the fates went/The only person who'll sleep with me is the president.

    Ryan Stiles : [singing]  I am so ugly that I'll never have a lover/When I leave the house all the dogs run for cover/I'm big and white and round and my back is so hairy/Yes you guessed it, my name is Drew Carey

  • [the Village People Hoedown] 

    Wayne Brady : I love the Village People, now please don't get me wrong / I love YMCA, hey girl, that's my song / But you see in Fran Sancisco is where they belong / And all them Village People inspired me to wear my thong.

  • Drew Carey : [scenes from a hat]  Bad names for perfume.

    Wayne Brady : I call it... "Like Ass!"

    Ryan Stiles : You know you're good when you're wearing "Eau Du Pork!"

    Colin Mochrie : [referring to an earlier game of Song Titles when he said to Ryan "Nice Pants"]  "Nice Pants", the smell of corduroy.

  • [singing as a strip-o-gram to a retired lunch lady] 

    Wayne Brady : And Friday/is the best day of all/because you get to have, a little spaghetti/and two big meatba-

    [cracks up] 

  • [Scenes from a Hat game] 

    Drew Carey : Things in Drew Carey's planner.

    Wayne Brady : 7:00: count my money. 8:00: count my money.

    Ryan Stiles : 9:00- Blow up

    [crosses out] 

    Ryan Stiles : Pick up date!

  • Wayne Brady : Well, she's a dog and she's so fine / She's the canine that's on my mind / She's Lassie.

  • Ryan Stiles : [scene to rap, Top Gun]  I'm a bird flyin' through the air/come near me if you dare/my feathers are white and my beak is flat/I hit your windshield and go SPLAT!

    Colin Mochrie : [flapping his arms like a bird]  I don't have a ryhme, boo-hoo.

    Wayne Brady : I thought he was a bird/but that ain't that/'cause everybody know's Canadians can't rap.

  • Drew Carey : What penguins are really thinking?

    Wayne Brady : Does this tux make me look fat?

    Ryan Stiles : Geez... it's cold!

    Colin Mochrie : One day I'll get that Batman!

  • Drew Carey : The next game is called African Chant. Wayne will do the chant.

    Wayne Brady : Hey, how come I gotta do the African Chant?

    Drew Carey : [going into the audience]  Because Colin would screw it up.

  • [Songs you wouldn't want to hear in prison] 

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  So who's the slightly effeminate one, that's me...

    Brad Sherwood : [singing]  Who dropped the soap... who dropped the soap...

    Ryan Stiles : [singing]  Jim's escaping through the hole in the wall, the hole in the wall, the hole in the wall...

    Colin Mochrie : [singing]  With the wig... you remind me... of Julia...

  • Wayne Brady : [Wearing a fireman's helmet]  Damn! Baby got backdraft!

  • Drew Carey : [after a "song styles" unexpectedly malfunctions by speeding up]  Thanks a lot, Howard. Or as Wayne Brady spells it, Horward... H-O-R-W-A-R-D!

    Wayne Brady : ...it's hard to spell when you're going 210 beats per minute, Drew.

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes from a Hat]  Things that will get 'bleeped' by the censors.

    Wayne Brady : En espanol, I am "El Grande Ricardo", but you can call me "Big Dick".

    [buzz] 

    Greg Proops : I'm George Bush and I'm a fucking indigimimite.

    [buzz] 

    Colin Mochrie : [reffering to a cat]  Here, pussy!

    [buzz] 

    Drew Carey : [laughing]  Bloopers from the first 100 episodes.

    Colin Mochrie : Here, pussy!

    [Greg and Wayne go up and start kissing] 

    Greg Proops : He's... uh...

    Wayne Brady : [Starts humming the Irish Drinking Song] 

    Wayne Brady : [Puts on Drew's glasses]  Hi, welcome to Whose Line it an- Oh, gosh I'm so stupid!

    Colin Mochrie : [Referring to an earlier scene]  H-O-R-W-A-R-D!

  • Drew Carey : Bad segues following tragic news stories.

    Chip Esten : ...and everyone died. Speaking of dying, I've been *dying* to see that new Bruce Willis flick!

    Wayne Brady : It was a big, big loss. Speaking of big, right after this, "The Drew Carey Show!"

    [everyone scowls] 

    Drew Carey : You are all gonna pay.

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes from a hat]  What Drew Carey thinks about before he drifts to sleep.

    Wayne Brady : Ah! Money.

    Ryan Stiles : He's so tall!

    Colin Mochrie : Maybe tomorrow I'll lick his head!

  • Ryan Stiles : [Scenes from a hat- U.S cities that will never have a song written about them]  We wouve you Walla Walla, Washington! We wouve you Walla Walla, Washington

    Colin Mochrie : Proud citizens of Dog-Lick...

    Wayne Brady : Our arms are wide open at Muscelahoochehella Alabama, Muscelahoochehella Alabama...

    Ryan Stiles : We call it Butte- Not Butt- Montana!

    Jeff Bryan Davis : Who wants an Oxnard, I do, I do!

    Ryan Stiles : [In a stoner voice]  What's the matter with Weed?

  • Wayne Brady : [as a novelty singing bass fish]  Yes, I really love you / We could have a ball / We could make love and / You can mount me on your wall.

  • Drew Carey : Now, we need two unlikely roommates.

    Person from audience : Bill Cosby and Hitler!

    Drew Carey : Bill Cosby and Hitler! Bill Cosby and Hitler certainly unlikely roomates

    Censor : Hold Please.

    Drew Carey : You've got to be kidding me.

    Ryan Stiles : Not that Hitler

    Brad Sherwood : We meant RUDOLPH Hitler!

    Wayne Brady : [as Bill Cosby]  Would you like some Jello... Hitler?

    Drew Carey : Somebody over there! Gimme a profession

    Person from audience : Insurance Salesman

    Drew Carey : Insurance Salesman. Brad and Wayne, you're going to be singing Bill Cosby and the Insurance Salesman. Pretty fucking funny isn't it?

  • Drew Carey : [Scenes from a hat]  Versions of hell, other than eternal flame.

    Ryan Stiles : Okay, that's a thousand points for Colin, it's time for Hoedown.

    Colin Mochrie : Let's hear that Yentl soundtrack one more time!

    [when no one laughs, he does his "Lightning Rod of Hate" signal] 

    Wayne Brady : Mississippi, I'm still in Mississippi!

    Greg Proops : Mississippi, *I'm* still in Mississippi!

  • Colin Mochrie : [Song Titles- In a Psychiatrist's office]  What's New Pussycat?

    Ryan Stiles : I've got a feeling

    Colin Mochrie : Feelings?

    Ryan Stiles : One.

    Colin Mochrie : What's the buzz, tell me what's a happening!

    Ryan Stiles : Nowhere, man.

    Colin Mochrie : [stumped]  Really, that sucks!

    [Buzz] 

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  Really that sucks, really that sucks...

  • Ryan Stiles : [Millionaire show]  Phyllis, did you hear the question hunny?

    Wayne Brady : Oh yeah, I love money! Everybody loves money. One time I had relations with 45 men at one time.

    Ryan Stiles : Those were Germans, hunny. We're in different times now.

  • Ryan Stiles : I just need the answer, is it A, C, C, or D?

    Wayne Brady : Meh, might help if I knew the question you snooty, you doody.

    Ryan Stiles : What's the capital of Paraguay, Warden, you're from there for god's sake!

    Wayne Brady : It's P! P! The big P!

    Ryan Stiles : Thanks.

    Wayne Brady : Meh.

    Colin Mochrie : That's one smart sheep.

  • [Greatest Hits: "I'm the Groom" by the Beach Boys] 

    Wayne Brady : [singing]  I'm gonna get married. I'm gonna find myself a guy...

    [he breaks down laughing; the band also breaks down] 

    Brad Sherwood : [strange voice, drinking motion]  The band's had a little too much to drink!

  • Wayne Brady : We're going to make up a song. Sort of, life advice thing. Audience?

    Audience Member : Don't do it on the first date.

  • Wayne Brady : I've got a fig ol' futt.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


Recently Viewed