Peter Mackenzie: Carlton 'Doc' Windgate
Quotes
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Gus Cantrell : Hey Rube.
Rube Baker : Hey Skip.
Gus Cantrell : Say Rube, I was wondering, do you have any hidden skills?
Rube Baker : Hidden skills?
Gus Cantrell : Yeah, like if my car wasn't running right, would you be able to take the carburetor apart and fix it?
Rube Baker : No. I don't know anything about carburetors.
Gus Cantrell : How about if I bought some lumber, would you be able to build me a coffee table?
Rube Baker : I don't think so.
Gus Cantrell : So your skills have primarily lend themselves to baseball. Can we say that?
Rube Baker : Yeah, we can say that.
Gus Cantrell : If another routine ground ball lands 15 rows in the grandstands, I'm sending your ass home. So I suggest you make your throws. Or, I suggest you invest in some how-to books and find a fallback profession, understood.
Rube Baker : Yeah.
[Rube leaves the dugout, and comes back in, and leaves again]
Rube Baker : Mitt.
Doc : I thought you were going to give him the gentle speech.
Gus Cantrell : That was it.
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Doc : Perplexed? Carlton Windgate, pitcher. Everybody calls me Doc.
Gus Cantrell : Gus Cantrell, manage. Everybody calls me Gus.
Doc : Nice to meet you. So do you have a question about the lineup?
Gus Cantrell : Well, there seems to be a mistake. You have Juan Lopez playing second and Juan Lopez playing short.
Doc : Oh, that's no mistake. Juan?
Juan Lopez #1 : Hola, Coach.
Juan Lopez #2 : Buenos dias.
Gus Cantrell : Brothers?
Doc : Twins. Confounding, isn't it?
Gus Cantrell : Confounding seems to be the word of the day. Listen, from now on you'll be Juan 1.
Juan Lopez #1 : Si.
Gus Cantrell : And you'll be Juan 2.
Juan Lopez #2 : Sounds good, coach.
Doc : By numbering them, you're identifying them and squelching their self esteem.
Gus Cantrell : I don't mean to be rude Doc, but how would you like to be Juan 3?
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Doc : Skip, can I talk to you?
Gus Cantrell : Sure, whats up Doc?
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Doc : You, uh, you want me to go with the off-speed stuff?
Gus Cantrell : You got anything else?
Doc : Nope.
Gus Cantrell : I'd say we go with the off-speed stuff, then.
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Doc : Skip, I talked to Rube, and I've discovered that Rube's entire throwing problem comes from a rather abrasive Little League Coach.
Gus Cantrell : Rube can't throw for shit because of some jerk-off Little League coach?
Doc : In layman's terms, yes.
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Doc : Do you have nicoise?
Diner Cook : I told you. We have ranch, Italian, and chunky bleu cheese, which is 50 cents extra.
Doc : Do you have any balsamic vinegar?
Diner Cook : I got ranch, Italian, chunky bleu cheese.
Doc : How about a gun so I can shoot myself in the head?
