George of the Jungle (1997)

Abraham Benrubi: Thor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Max : Thor, were you fighting with the Narrator?

  Thor : Well, he started it.

  Narrator : Did not.

  Thor : You did too.

  Narrator : Did not.

  Thor : You did too.

  Narrator : Did not.

  Thor : You did too!

  Max : Thor, stop it.

• Ape : I'm hungry!

  Thor : Oh, shut up. You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to...

  Ape : You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?

  Max : Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape.

  Ape : That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance.

  Max : Give him a banana, Thor. It won't be long now.

  Thor : That's what you said yesterday! This trail is taking us to the middle of nowhere!

  Max : The sign at the trail head said "Short cut to Ape River." Now, why would it say "short cut" if it wasn't a...

  Max : [pause]  Wait a minute. Maybe it's a fake, a decoy trail.

  Ape : Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake. It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the tree house.

  Thor : [groaning in frustration]  Ohh! Oh, I knew we was lost.

  Max : Don't listen to him, Thor. He's just tryin' to trick us, lead us off the short cut so we take twice as long on the regular trail.

  Thor : We're already taking twice as long!

  Max : Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of ya?

  Thor : What?

  Ape : Duh!

  Max : Let's go. If he tells us the short cut leads to the tree house, then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.

• Thor : I'm chafing, Max. I'm chafing big-time.

  Max : Didn't I tell you not to wear twenty pounds of black leather in the jungle? Didn't I tell you? Cotton, I said. Cotton breathes.

• [Max and Thor arrive at the tree house to capture a talking ape] 

  Thor : There's five stinking apes out there. Which one are we taking to Vegas?

  Max : The one who's playing chess!

• [reaching the end of a long trail] 

  Thor : Max, look! We're back at the tree house!

  Ape : Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me.

  Max : Oh, no!

  Narrator : "Oh, no" was right! Because even at that moment...

  Thor : [looking up]  Hey! Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now?

  Narrator : Because I don't like you.

  Thor : Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a...

  Narrator : I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

  [there is a thunderous bang, and both Thor and Max stagger, as though hit] 

  Narrator : Having some fun now, huh?

• Thor : [discovering George through his telescopic sight]  Hey, It's a dude.

  [to Max his sidekick] 

  Thor : I told you there weren't no white ape. You dragged me all the way up here to look at some guy in a leopard skin bikini. If I wanted to see that, I could've stayed in Miami.

• [as Thor aims his rifle at Shep, Ape roars and jumps out of the treehouse, landing the ground] 

  Ape : Run, Shep! Run for your life!

  Max : Did that monkey just speak?

  Thor : That monkey just spoke!

  Ursula Stanhope : I *knew* it!

  Lyle Van de Groot : He *talked*!

  Max : [to Thor]  Shoot it now.

  Ape : [turns and notices Max and Thor]  Hmm?

  Max : [lowers Thor's rifle]  With the tranquilizer gun, you idiot! The ape's worth a fortune!

  George : *No*!

  [runs towards Ape] 

  Lyle Van de Groot : [aims his handgun at George]  Stop or I'll shoot!

  [shoots George in slow motion] 

  Ape : No!

  Lyle Van de Groot : No!

  Ursula Stanhope : George!

  [fade to white] 

  Narrator : Whoo! OK, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.

• Thor : George of the Jungle must be halfway to 'Frisco by now.

  Narrator : But our plotting poachers were only half correct for at that very moment, our handsome hero was all the way to San Francisco.