Doctor Dolittle (1998)

Garry Shandling: Male Pigeon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. John Dolittle : [John is acting as a marriage counsellor to a couple of pigeons]  ... It's not something you should be ashamed of. It happens to most men occasionally. You're probably under a lot of pressure.

  Female Pigeon : He's not under pressure. He's not atracted to me, because I'm just a pigeon. He's a self-hating pigeon... As him what he does all day... He sits in a tree by himself - because he's too good to eat with the rest of us, when the old people feed us in the park. And the way he stares at a robin's breasts, it's enough to make you sick.

  Male Pigeon : I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.

  Female Pigeon : [to her husband]  You're not a robin, or a dove, or a hawk. You're a pigeon, and I'm a pigeon...

  Male Pigeon : [to John]  She sits on the nest all day and gets crazy.

  Female Pigeon : ...With three eggs, and they're gonna be pigeons, too.

  [flies off] 

  Male Pigeon : [to John]  May I ask you something? If I turn THIS way, don't I look a LITTLE like a blue jay?

• Male Pigeon : The heart of a hawk! The heart of a hawk! The heart of a hawk!