Quiz Show (1994) Poster

(1994)

John Turturro: Herbie Stempel

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Ralph Fiennes, Robert Redford, Rob Morrow, John Turturro, and Richard N. Goodwin in Quiz Show (1994) Ralph Fiennes, Christopher McDonald, and John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) Ralph Fiennes, Christopher McDonald, and John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) David Paymer and John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) Rob Morrow, John Turturro, and Johann Carlo in Quiz Show (1994) John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) Ralph Fiennes, Christopher McDonald, and John Turturro in Quiz Show (1994) Rob Morrow, John Turturro, and Johann Carlo in Quiz Show (1994)

Quotes 

  • Herbie Stemple : You know why they call them Indians? Because Columbus thought he was in India. They're "Indians" because some white guy got lost.

  • [to a reporter outside the committee hearing] 

    Herbie Stemple : You know what the problem with you bums is? You never leave a guy alone unless you're leaving him alone.

  • Herbie Stemple : You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.

  • Herbie Stemple : Come and see Herbie Stempel get thrown to the Columbia lions! Watch Charles Van Doren eat his first kosher meal in his life.

  • Herbie Stemple : And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything.

  • Herbie Stemple : [referring to television]  That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it.

  • Toby Stempel : I know what you're gonna accomplish, I just don't know what he's gonna accomplish.

    Herbie Stemple : You want to know what? If I do nothing else I will convince them that Herbert Stemple knows what won the God-damned Academy Award for best God-damned picture of 1955; that's what I'm gonna accomplish.

  • Toby Stempel : My mother wants to know why you only went for eight on the movies.

    Herbie Stemple : Because my real expertise is pain-in-the-ass in-laws, all right?

  • Herbie Stemple : Charles Van Doren! He wouldn't know the answer to a door bell if you didn't give it to him!

  • Herbie Stemple : I love my wife, but it's like living with a plague of locusts.

  • Herbie Stemple : Don't do this to me, it's humiliating.

    Enright : For seventy grand, Herb, you can afford to be humiliated.

  • Herbie Stemple : [offering rugelach]  Come on, they're a Jewish delicacy. Before Toby eats it.

    Toby Stempel : I'm retaining water, for your information.

    Herbie Stemple : You and the Grand Coulee Dam.

  • Dan Enright : Well, it's the damndest thing, but you've plateaued.

    Herbie Stemple : Plateaued? What - wh-what kind of word is that?

    Dan Enright : What, plateaued?

    Herbie Stemple : Plateaued.

    Dan Enright : Plateaued? Uh, it's well, it's like, uh, you...

    Herbie Stemple : You mean, people don't like me anymore?

    Dan Enright : No, no, no. It's not you, per se. It's just...

    Herbie Stemple : Maybe I should get my teeth capped

    Dan Enright : No, it's the nature of the show. They've already seen you win, and they want something new.

    Herbie Stemple : So, what are you saying? Th - You think they want me to lose?

    Dan Enright : Well, don't you think that's natural?

    Herbie Stemple : Joe Louis was the champ for 12 years. Nobody ever wanted Joe Louis to lose.

  • [while leaving Dan Enright's office] 

    Herbie Stemple : I'll just tell everyone it's a fraud! That'll warm them up! The fix is in, this week on Twenty One!

  • Jack Barry : Herb Stemple, you lead at this point by 18 to 11. The category is movies, how many points do you wish to try for?

    Herbie Stemple : I'll try 3, three points.

    Jack Barry : Which would give you 21 points if you guess right and you will be the winner again.

    Jack Barry : [reads question]  Which motion picture won the Academy Award for 1955?

    Herbie Stemple : [feigning nervousness and thinking]  1955... Academy Award... Best Picture. Hmmm, you know... I don't remember.

  • [while watching a TV commercial concerning the upcoming episode of "Twenty One."] 

    Herbie Stemple : No, Herbert Stempel is not going to win $100,000! Herbert Stempel is going to take a dive!

  • [In his office, Dan Enright has just told Herb Stempel that he submitted a list of 45 names for a panel show on NBC. The network had rejected three of those 45 names and Herb was one of those three names that they had rejected] 

    Herbie Stemple : That big, uncircumcised putz is on the cover of Time Magazine and I can't even make the top 42 for a panel show.

  • Herbie Stemple : The point is, Van Doren got the answers.

    Dick Goodwin : He did not get the answers. If anything, he gave them answers!

    Herbie Stemple : I know he got the answers.

    Dick Goodwin : Ah, bullshit, Herb. How do you know he got the answers?

    Herbie Stemple : Because I got the answers!

  • Announcer : Geritol. America's #1 tonic. Geritol, the fast-acting, high-potentcy tonic, that helps you feel... stronger... fast... presents the exciting quiz program..."Twenty-One." Brought to you by NBC, The National Broadcasting Company, broadcasting nationally coast to coast, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St. Petersburg... via a vast network of affiliates crisscrossing the country. Coming up next, "Twenty-One," starring master of ceremonies Jack Barry!

    [music cues build dramatically] 

    Announcer : Two players racing to score 21 points... each in a soundproof television studio, not knowing the other one's score... with $500 riding on each point... as they both play..."Twenty-One!"

    [lively theme music plays] 

    Announcer : And here's your host... Jack Barry!

    [the audience applauds as Jack runs on to the stage and stands behind his podium] 

    Jack Barry : [looking at us]  Good evening. I'm Jack Barry. Due to a series of ties, Herbert Stempel, our 29-year-old ex-G.I. college student, must play at $3,000 a point, which means that in a few brief minutes, he can either win as much as $100,000 - the most money won on television to date - or lose everything he's won in the last eight weeks.

    [as Jack continues to speak, Herbert and his opponent wait to be introduced] 

    Stempel's opponent : You nervous?

    Herbie Stemple : [chuckles as he clean's his glasses]  It's only money.

    Jack Barry : Isolated in their soundproof studios, neither player is aware of the other's score. I've been assured by our friends at the encyclopedia... that they've concocted some real brain-breakers this week, so we'll find out in the next 30 minutes... if the unstumpable Herbert Stempel can be stumped. Could I have the questions, please?

    [a drumroll plays as the questions are handed to Jack by a stagehand] 

    Jack Barry : Thank you, gentlemen. Remember the questions on "Twenty-One" are secured each week in a Manhattan bank vault 'til just before show time. So right now, let's meet Herbert Stempel and his challenger as Geritol, America's #1 tonic, presents "Twenty-One."

    [a fanfare plays and the audience applauds as Herbert and his opponent make their entrances] 

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