Robin Williams: Batty Koda
Photos
Quotes
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Elder : Now, Crysta, aren't you a little old to believe in human tales?
Batty Koda : Human tails? Humans don't have tails. They have big, big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts. They walk around going, "Hi, Helen".
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Batty Koda : Gravity works.
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Batty Koda : [crashes into a tree] I'M BLIND, ON, NO!
[opens his eyes]
Batty Koda : I can see! It's a miracle! Another perfect landing! No worries! I'm okay! Thank you for caring. Just a few bruises.
[sees that no one is listening]
Batty Koda : Nobody cares about me.
Zak : I do you, bat-man.
Batty Koda : You sure?
Zak : I'm positive.
Batty Koda : Only fools are positive.
Zak : Are you sure?
Batty Koda : I'm positive...
[as Zak laughs]
Batty Koda : I fell for it! I should have known!
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Crysta : But how can you live without trees?
Zak : Easy.
Crysta : But trees give life. They make the clouds, the water, the air.
Zak : We have air.
Batty Koda : Yeah, if you don't mind getting all your minerals in one breath.
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Batty Koda : [singing] Yo, the name is Batty / The logic is erratic / Potato in a jacket / Toys in the attic / I rock and I ramble / My brain is scrambled / Rap like an animal, but I'm a mammal.
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[Zak is trying to convince Batty to turn back]
Batty Koda : What're you, crazy, that's lemming talk!
Zak : [hits Batty's antenna] Wrong channel!
Batty Koda : [in English accent] Hail, Caesar! Emperor of Rome!
Zak : [Batty floats offscreen] Wrong channel!
Batty Koda : [back onscreen; imitates John Wayne] Well all right, Gunny! We're goin' to war!
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Batty Koda : [singing] I been brain-fried, electrified, infected, and injectified / Vivisectified and fed pesticides / My face is all cut up / Cause my radar's all shut up / Nurse, I need a check-up from the neck up / I'm Batty!
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Batty Koda : Hello, I'm a nocturnal placental mammal of the order pterodidae, or ptero-didn't-I... In case you can't tell, I'm a bat!
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Crysta : But just think. Humans back in the forest!
Batty Koda : Yep. There goes the neighborhood.
Crysta : Be nice, Batty.
Batty Koda : First thing, all these trees go. Then come your highways, then come your shopping malls, and your parking lots, and your convenience stores, and then come...
[Zak shorts out Batty's antenna]
Batty Koda : Price check on prune juice, Bob. Price check on prune juice.
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[Crysta pulls Batty from tree he just flew into]
Batty Koda : Oh, sonic interference, what a nightmare... I thought I saw a human...
[sees Zak]
Batty Koda : AH! HUMAN!
[falls from tree]
Crysta : That's a human?
Batty Koda : Yes! Yes! Kill it! Restrain it! Medicate it! Something!
[takes deep breaths]
Batty Koda : Puff up! Puff up! They hate that!
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Crysta : Are you okay?
Zak : [screams to his horror] WHAT HAPPENED TO ME! I-I-I'M THREE INCHES TALL!
Crysta : Oh... I shrank you.
Zak : You what?
Crysta : Well, it was the most amazing thing. 'Course, it's not what the spell was really supposed to do, but Magi Lune will fix you.
Zak : You... you shrank me?
Crysta : Yeah!
Batty Koda : Catches on quick, doesn't he?
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Batty Koda : I have but one claw, but beware!
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Crysta : What are you doing?
Zak : Carving your name. See? C-R-Y-S...
Crysta : No, no, you mustn't do that! Here.
[puts Zak's hand on the carving in the tree]
Crysta : Can't you feel its pain?
Zak : [in disbelief] Its *pain*?
Crysta : Yes!
Batty Koda : Humans can't feel anything. They're numb from the brain down.
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Goanna : [about to eat Zak] Welcome to the food chain.
Crysta : Stop! He's a human!
Goanna : Uhh... what's a human?
Batty Koda : Delicious and nutritious! Tastes just like chicken!
Crysta : [Crysta glares at Batty, then flies over to the Goanna] He's my friend.
Goanna : Any friend of a fairy...
[spits out Zak]
Goanna : ... is a friend of mine.
Crysta : Thanks.
Goanna : You owe me a free dinner after this one.
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Batty Koda : Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!
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Batty Koda : [after saving Crysta and Zak from the leveler] "Don't go," I said. "Bad idea," I said. But would you listen? No. Don't listen to Batty. Well what do we have here? Shoes... animals don't wear shoes... A HUMAN!
Crysta : A TREE!
Batty Koda : WOAH!
[flies into tree...]
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[upon entering FernGully, Batty crashes into a tree]
Batty Koda : Red light!
[crashes into another tree]
Batty Koda : Red light again!
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[Crysta looks at cloud of black smoke coming from Mt. Warning and realizes Batty is not with her]
Crysta : Batty? Batty... Well come on!
Batty Koda : [looks around] My heart! Oh! My heart!
[falls back]
Batty Koda : ... I can't go on... heaven my little wings can't make it!
Crysta : Hmmm maybe you should wait here for me...
Batty Koda : A fabulous idea... only why don't you stay here with me?
Crysta : [kisses his nose] Don't worry I'll be right back
Batty Koda : Why do I not believe you?
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Crysta : Will you both just calm down?
Batty Koda , Zak : He tried to kill you!
Batty Koda , Zak : I did not! You did!
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Batty Koda : [Hexxus knocks over a headlamp that's about to fall on Batty] Oh, this is gonna hurt...
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Batty Koda : [follows Crysta] Yeah, this territory looks kinda familiar. Fabulous day in the canopy, isn't it. Well, where do you think you're going?
Crysta : Mount Warning.
[Batty goes stunned an knocks into a tree]
Batty Koda : I know where I am. I know where I am. HEY! You scared me there. For a minute, I thought you said you were going to Mount Warning.
Crysta : Well, I did.
Batty Koda : BUT THERE'RE HUMANS ON MOUNT WARNING!
Crysta : Exactly!
Batty Koda : Fractured fig, fairy bug, come on! Mount Warning is the last place a little fairy like you wants to go. Look at these! D'you think nature did this? D'you think I put this on to get better reception? NO! Humans did this. We should stay here. It's nice here.
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Batty Koda : Oh oh, oh oh, big ears! Elephant! No, no, no, anteater! Oh, orangutan! Ok, ok, let me guess again- a duck! A duck! Ooohhh, it's Darwin's grab bag!
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Batty Koda : You know, Zak, the truth doesn't always win friends, but it certainly influences people.
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Zak : What about you, Crysta? What is it that fairies do?
Crysta : Do?
Zak : Yeah, do you have jobs or something?
Crysta : What's a job?
Zak : Guess that answers that question. Look, what do you do all day?
Crysta : Help things grow.
Zak : Really? That sounds cool.
Crysta : No, usually it's warm.
Zak : No, cool means it's hot.
Crysta : What?
Zak : You know - bodacious, bad, tubular...
Batty Koda : Awesome use of the language, dude.
Zak : As in, you are one bodacious babe.
Crysta : And that's good... I mean, cool?
Zak : That's right! We're communicating.
Crysta : Tubular!
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Batty Koda : [mock Scottish accent] Aye aye Captain, I can't get enough speed, we've got no dilithium crystals!
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Zak : [remorsefully] I wish - I wish the human tales were true. They're not here to protect the forest; they're cutting down trees.
[the fairies gasp in shock]
Zak : They're destroying the forest! And I was helping them do it. Batty was right.
Batty Koda : [in surprise] I was?
Zak : They're coming this way. You can't stop them. You'll have to leave.
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[last lines]
Batty Koda : Hey, where are you going?
