Bullseye! (1990)

Michael Caine: Sidney Lipton, Doctor Hicklar

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Lipton knocks his door and the entire front of the house collapses around him; the hole where the door was saves him from certain death. He wanders away dazed. Willie pulls up in her car] 

  Willie : What's wrong?

  Lipton : I come from a broken home.

• Garald Bradley-Smith : Here, have a forkful of mine.

  [Gerald moves his fork towards Sidney's open mouth, put moves it back suddenly. Sidney looks annoyed] 

  Lipton : How bloody juvenile can you get?

  [Gerald smiles at him while eating, with eyes wide open] 

• Willie : Now we've all arrived, let's get down to business.

  Lipton : What business?

  Willie : Things are tough, Sidney. I'm broke, widowed, and being thrown out of my home. I need my real frieinds.

  Lipton : Then why is Gerald here?

  Willie : Because I want you two to do a job.

  Lipton : I'm not working with that double-crosser. He's put so many partners in jail they've named a wing after him,

  Garald Bradley-Smith : You're no master criminal yourself.

  Lipton : Yeah, well the closest thing you'll ever get to a brainstorm is a drizzle.

  [Smiles] 

• Lipton : Do you really think we look the same?

  Inspector Grosse : You sure do! I'll bankroll the preparations. All the research is in here.

  [Holds up folder] 

  Lipton : Hickler's got blue eyes, I haven't.

  Garald Bradley-Smith : My one's quite handsome.

  Lipton : You'll never look like him them.

  [Gerald looks offended] 

  Lipton : Here, my one's got a funny nose.

  Garald Bradley-Smith : You're the one with a funny nose.

• Alf : Sidney! Hey Sidney! Sidney, it's me Alf. We shared a prison cell.

  Lipton : [Pretending to be Hickler]  I think you made mistake, mister. My name is Hickler, Doctor Daniel Hickler.

  Alf : But I owe you twenty quid, Sid boy.

  Garald Bradley-Smith : I'll take that.

  [takes banknote] 

  Lipton : You don't know me.

  Alf : Geez, maybe you're right. Love the new nose Sid; the accent stinks.

  Lipton : [In normal voice]  I'm dead!

• Darrell Hyde : Don't worry, you're under twenty-four hour surveillance.

  Lipton : You had Hickler under twenty-four hour surveillance, you had under Bavistock twenty-four hour surveillance, you couldn't keep your dick under twenty-four hour surveillance.

• Darrell Hyde : Gotcha.

  Lipton : He went down there!

  [Pointing at Hickler] 

  Darrell Hyde : I'm not gonna fall for that old trick...

  Lipton : Oh, for Heaven's sake! I'll show you.

  [Sidney takes a dark out from his kilt, throws it up at the sky. A bird falls down, with the dart in it, in a flurry of feathers] 

  Lipton : Could Hickler do that?

  Nigel Holden : Why should he? He's a vegetarian.

• Willie : Sidney, guess who's here.

  Inspector Grosse : 'Allo Sid.

  Lipton : You!

  [Begins to choke him] 

  Willie : You remember Chief Inspector Grosse.

  Inspector Grosse : No hard feelings, ay Sid?

  Lipton : No hard feelings? You put me away for three years!

  Inspector Grosse : Had to Sid, someone ratted on you!

  Lipton : Ratted? Nobody knew about that heist, except me... And Gerald.

  [He releases Gerald, stands up, and comes to a cosmic relisation] 

  Lipton : Of course. It was Gerald.

• Sir John Bavistock : Good, we missed the dinner.

  Daniel Hicklar : Still time to impress the science groupies.

  Sir John Bavistock : Let's wash our hands.

• Lipton : Well come on guys; don't just stare. Do you want cheap energy or don't you?

  [Korean bidder hands him his bid] 

  Lipton : I know things are cheap out east, but forget it.

  [Iranian bidder hands him his bid] 

  Lipton : A very fair offer. And my I add, that the Islamic Republic of Iran has been grossly misrepresented in the Western media.

  Iranian Bidder : Just get on with the sale, a**hole.

  Lipton : Yip.

  [Points at Death's Head, who hands him his offer] 

  Lipton : Heh, you win handsome. Your government will bid in the final auction. You have your, er, none returnable deposit?

  [Inspects Death's Head's deposit] 

  Lipton : Yep, this looks pretty good. Anyone ever tell you that you look like Mel Gibson?

  [Death's Head shakes his head] 

  Lipton : I'm not surprised.

• Daniel Hicklar : Yay! Yay!

  [Sir John dashes off] 

  Camera Operator : Hey, where's he going?

  TV Interviewer : Sir John?

  Daniel Hicklar : It works, it works!

  Sir John Bavistock : Are you sure?

  Daniel Hicklar : You bet you a*s! Let's have some champagne.

  Sir John Bavistock : But you don't drink!

  Daniel Hicklar : [Throws champagne bottle at wall]  I give you, licence to print money.

  Sir John Bavistock : Oh hu hu huh. No one else knows?

  Daniel Hicklar : No one else knows. What do you reckon the secret to an endless supply of clean cheap energy is worth on the open market?

  Sir John Bavistock : Money, money!

  [Face lights up] 

• Lipton : Good evening, gentlemen. I use the term loosely.

• Lipton : We're thieves, not spies.

  Garald Bradley-Smith : Thank you Sidney.

  [Camera zooms out] 

  Garald Bradley-Smith : There goes our not guilty plea.

• Lipton : Dis is a major double-cross!

  [Said with indignant fury] 

• Lipton : We're in deadly danger!

  Garald Bradley-Smith : You're in deadly danger. Bavistock has not escaped.

  Lipton : You think you're so hard, don't you.

  Garald Bradley-Smith : I'll let Francesca be the judge of that.

• Sir John Bavistock : Quiet supper at the club?

  Daniel Hicklar : Yup.

• Lipton : Comfortable! Who cares if he's comfortable, he's a crook!