I'll never forget how I was first introduced to this film that quite possibly might make Citizen Kane obsolete.
I was 17, and the drummer in an off-kilter, mod-core, hard rockin' band called the Moondoggie P. Orkfire Experiment. My man Jay-sone and I were in the Waldenbooks at Northgate Mall reading through Leonard Maltin's film guide. Well, right there with a turkey next to it was the title Stocks and Blondes. Yes, Stocks and Blondes. Oh the hours the film's writers must have slaved to come up with a delicious pun. But I digress.
Anyway, you can guess that with a name like that, Jay-sone and I rushed to the nearest Wherehouse to rent this neo-classic. But alas, it wasn't to be. They said they hadn't had a copy of that since 1987. Something about it not renting well, which I find impossible to believe. The movie geek clerk probably wanted to keep this title to himself. But about a year later the gods smiled upon us. We were walking through Bradley Video looking for some games to rent, when what did we see but a box with "Stocks and Blondes" emblazened on it. Not a day had passed where we had failed to reference the movie, this was our reward. We greedily grabbed the box and rushed quickly to the nearest VCR.
And the reward was sheer brilliance.
I wish I could give you some spoilers, but quite frankly that's impossible. Quite truthfully because the writer's were so ahead of their time the true aim of the plot may not be known for several generations to follow. I asked my friend, our guitarist Nate, if he remembered any details of this of the film, but he reminded me that he fell asleep a quarter of the way through it-- an impressive feat by the writer's given Nate's usual insomnia. Talk about your great public services. And then there's the acting. Sure, it's about on par with the dialouge delivered in your average porn movie. But think of it like this, there are thousands, nay millions, out there who love the acting in porn movies but hate all the hard-core sex. If you find yourself a member of this group, then rush to Bradley Video and rent this film now.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the haunting theme song though. The singer is so brilliant and punk he doesn't even hold the same pitch throughout certain notes. The result is a wonderfully inventive new form of vocals that sounds like a cross between a goat and a teenaged boy who's voice is changing. We tried to cover this song millions of times, but our singer Chadd just couldn't get the voice down.
Anyway, I could rave about Stocks and Blondes for another thousand words or so, but that would defeat the point of this post. There are three things in this world that are must sees before you die. The Mona Lisa. The Sistene Chapel. And Stocks and Blondes.
Rating: 100/10
I was 17, and the drummer in an off-kilter, mod-core, hard rockin' band called the Moondoggie P. Orkfire Experiment. My man Jay-sone and I were in the Waldenbooks at Northgate Mall reading through Leonard Maltin's film guide. Well, right there with a turkey next to it was the title Stocks and Blondes. Yes, Stocks and Blondes. Oh the hours the film's writers must have slaved to come up with a delicious pun. But I digress.
Anyway, you can guess that with a name like that, Jay-sone and I rushed to the nearest Wherehouse to rent this neo-classic. But alas, it wasn't to be. They said they hadn't had a copy of that since 1987. Something about it not renting well, which I find impossible to believe. The movie geek clerk probably wanted to keep this title to himself. But about a year later the gods smiled upon us. We were walking through Bradley Video looking for some games to rent, when what did we see but a box with "Stocks and Blondes" emblazened on it. Not a day had passed where we had failed to reference the movie, this was our reward. We greedily grabbed the box and rushed quickly to the nearest VCR.
And the reward was sheer brilliance.
I wish I could give you some spoilers, but quite frankly that's impossible. Quite truthfully because the writer's were so ahead of their time the true aim of the plot may not be known for several generations to follow. I asked my friend, our guitarist Nate, if he remembered any details of this of the film, but he reminded me that he fell asleep a quarter of the way through it-- an impressive feat by the writer's given Nate's usual insomnia. Talk about your great public services. And then there's the acting. Sure, it's about on par with the dialouge delivered in your average porn movie. But think of it like this, there are thousands, nay millions, out there who love the acting in porn movies but hate all the hard-core sex. If you find yourself a member of this group, then rush to Bradley Video and rent this film now.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the haunting theme song though. The singer is so brilliant and punk he doesn't even hold the same pitch throughout certain notes. The result is a wonderfully inventive new form of vocals that sounds like a cross between a goat and a teenaged boy who's voice is changing. We tried to cover this song millions of times, but our singer Chadd just couldn't get the voice down.
Anyway, I could rave about Stocks and Blondes for another thousand words or so, but that would defeat the point of this post. There are three things in this world that are must sees before you die. The Mona Lisa. The Sistene Chapel. And Stocks and Blondes.
Rating: 100/10