The World's Greatest Lover (1977)

Carl Ballantine: Uncle Harry

Quotes 

• [Talking to the hotel manager, Tomaso Abalone] 

  Uncle Harry : I'd like a baloney.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Yes, sir. Right here.

  Uncle Harry : Where?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Here.

  Uncle Harry : So where's the baloney?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : I'm Abalone.

  Uncle Harry : You're a baloney?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : That's right.

  [Pointedly looks at the camera] 

  Uncle Harry : Once upon a time there were three bears.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Pardon me?

  Uncle Harry : What did you do?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : When?

  Uncle Harry : How do I know?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : How do you know what?

  Uncle Harry : By practising constantly.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Practising what?

  Uncle Harry : Whatever you want. I can't live your life for you.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : What is it we're talking about?

  Uncle Harry : Give me a hint.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Who are you, sir?

  Uncle Harry : I'm fine. Now where's a baloney?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : *I'm* Abalone!

• Uncle Harry : I thought you were the hotel manager.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : I am the hotel manager!

  Uncle Harry : You're the hotel manager *and* a baloney?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : That's right!

  Uncle Harry : Good. Would you please tell Mr. Rudy Valentine that Uncle Harry is downstairs waiting?

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : And you are, sir?

  Uncle Harry : No, I'm Uncle Harry.

  Tomaso Abalone, Hotel Manager : Ah, it's you!

  Uncle Harry : Gesundheit!

  [Turning towards his wife] 

  Uncle Harry : This guy could drive you nuts!