So this is something like a Frankie Avalon style 60s teen movie right up until the end. The most unwholesome they get is making out on the beach. Then they want to see the instructional video that was made for doctors by doctors. After a short disclaimer the scene cuts to a big vagina and we see the entire birthing process. I don't think I have ever been more shocked in my life. Also, there is no resolution and no teenage mother. Go figure.
8 Reviews
Yeah, It's Real
Michael_Elliott29 February 2008
Teenage Mother (1967)
** (out of 4)
Notorious exploitation film from the also notorious director Jerry Gross. The "set up" of the story deals with a young, troubled girl who's dating the school jock and wants to become pregnant. Also on hand is a new health teacher, a knockout chick from Sweden, who wants to show her class a baby being born so that they can learn what birth is all about. These two "stories" really don't have anything going for them and they're just here to lead up to the ending, which I'll talk about in a second. These stories are rather boring, although there are some very laughable moments including an incredibly stupid dance sequence and another scene where the troubled girl tries to seduce her virgin, prep boyfriend. The notorious aspect of this film comes at the end when (in graphic closeup) we get to see the video of the baby being born. After seeing this I now know it's best for me to stay out of the delivery room when that time comes
** (out of 4)
Notorious exploitation film from the also notorious director Jerry Gross. The "set up" of the story deals with a young, troubled girl who's dating the school jock and wants to become pregnant. Also on hand is a new health teacher, a knockout chick from Sweden, who wants to show her class a baby being born so that they can learn what birth is all about. These two "stories" really don't have anything going for them and they're just here to lead up to the ending, which I'll talk about in a second. These stories are rather boring, although there are some very laughable moments including an incredibly stupid dance sequence and another scene where the troubled girl tries to seduce her virgin, prep boyfriend. The notorious aspect of this film comes at the end when (in graphic closeup) we get to see the video of the baby being born. After seeing this I now know it's best for me to stay out of the delivery room when that time comes
A subtle romp
GOWBTW26 July 2018
Trying to learn about the birds and the bees Isn't always an easy thing to explain to their children. During the 60's, it was considered taboo. Well, things that are considered taboo could result in dire consequences. For a couple in high school, it was the case. When a new sex education teacher comes to the school, people would get a understanding of life. But with these parents living in the dark ages, that is where the ignorance begins. The teacher inspired a medical student in her class, but one of the other students is a bit of a ladies man. The young girl would go to great extremes by being promiscuous. After thinking that she is pregnant, she would lie and run away from friends and family. The teacher was put under fire after a near rape.
This movie is very subtle of its time, and it does have some educational purposes to it.
2 out of 5 stars
Possibly the Worst and yet somehow one of the Funniest movies ever
sideburnmikeguitar14 January 2007
I'm torn between rating this a 1 and a 10. The thing is, this movie is the finest example of something being so bad that it's utterly fantastic. Total 180...while still remaining terrible.
It was made in the mid-60s and looks like it. The dialog is horrible drivel that was clearly imagined by adults at the time who feared for their lives that their children might be holding hands or even more. This is an hilarious contrast with the cast that appears to be made up entirely of B Movie greatest hits type. The delivery of each line is inherently funny in how inhuman and out of place it all seems. Combine this with the message of "wholesome" conservative views--and I'm pretty socially conservative, but this is beyond ridiculous--that seems to tie in with the implication that attempted date rape is just a practical joke, chauvinism is endearing...I do'nt know what else to say. The plot is hilariously bad, the "romantic scenes" seemed so surreal that if a unicorn walked by it would've made more sense and generation gap is displayed as if the two parties are that of the Cold War. There's actually a scene where a father seems to just be giving up on his daughter, not because she's a slut or because she's going out go-go dancing to the worst surf music ever made, but because she's wearing boots of all things. I cannot stress enough how funny this film is due to the delivery of every poorly written line. Keanu Reeves is crying.
The seeming non sequitor of the sex ed teacher's discussion of her special video is intentionally shown in a way that makes it linger in your mind. You don't know how or when it's gonna come back to haunt you until the point of no return. You can't look back.
I saw this about 2 years ago, so I've forgotten about how awesomely bad it is for the most part, but i remember talking about it for weeks afterward. It's disturbingly comical and comically disturbing, though it was meant to be a serious film. If you think you can stomach how bad it is, the pay off will be worth it as you will undoubtedly site it as one of the funniest movies ever, and one of the worst. It's a two-fer.
It was made in the mid-60s and looks like it. The dialog is horrible drivel that was clearly imagined by adults at the time who feared for their lives that their children might be holding hands or even more. This is an hilarious contrast with the cast that appears to be made up entirely of B Movie greatest hits type. The delivery of each line is inherently funny in how inhuman and out of place it all seems. Combine this with the message of "wholesome" conservative views--and I'm pretty socially conservative, but this is beyond ridiculous--that seems to tie in with the implication that attempted date rape is just a practical joke, chauvinism is endearing...I do'nt know what else to say. The plot is hilariously bad, the "romantic scenes" seemed so surreal that if a unicorn walked by it would've made more sense and generation gap is displayed as if the two parties are that of the Cold War. There's actually a scene where a father seems to just be giving up on his daughter, not because she's a slut or because she's going out go-go dancing to the worst surf music ever made, but because she's wearing boots of all things. I cannot stress enough how funny this film is due to the delivery of every poorly written line. Keanu Reeves is crying.
The seeming non sequitor of the sex ed teacher's discussion of her special video is intentionally shown in a way that makes it linger in your mind. You don't know how or when it's gonna come back to haunt you until the point of no return. You can't look back.
I saw this about 2 years ago, so I've forgotten about how awesomely bad it is for the most part, but i remember talking about it for weeks afterward. It's disturbingly comical and comically disturbing, though it was meant to be a serious film. If you think you can stomach how bad it is, the pay off will be worth it as you will undoubtedly site it as one of the funniest movies ever, and one of the worst. It's a two-fer.
Maybe the most disturbing scene shown in a cinema. Probably.
DJbigTV26 April 2003
The film is about a young, pretty, European woman who is hired as a part time teacher in some suburban Mid West town. She is hired to teach sex education and is soon blamed for the local teenagers' sexual activity. Many references are made to a special film made by doctors for doctors. When the town meeting
finally decides to watch the film, a very abrubt change happens (partly due to a bad changeover by the projectionist). We cut to a 16mm film blown up to 35mm and projected on a medium size cinama screen of an actual birth. I've seen
birthing movies before (Mo' Better Blues) but Jesus Christo. Dios Mio.
Extreme Closeup. The film is very old so EVERYTHING is pink. The doctor
uses a speculum. The audience in the cinema is grossed out audibly. It is only the begining. But really nothing any bizarre film buff hasn't scene. Some of the people were even laughing at the people who were grossed out. "oh come on,
that's nothing" They were more right than they knew. A clamp is used on the baby's head. This is inside. A screw is actually turned to tighten the clamp. They are reffered to as "the blades" in the narration. Most of the narrartion goes unheard because at this point the audience is SCREAMING in horror. People
are jumping around and covering their faces. I look back and forth between the horrible screen and the most beautiful girl who is my date. It is our first date. She looks like she is going to cry.
The doctor pulls the baby out with the clamp but can only get the head out. The process is paused for awhile, the head only exposed. I feel like running out of the theater, but realize this film will never get shown again. My morbid curiosity is compelled as is the entire cinema. The doctor continues to try a few times but fails. As soon as the scissors appear, the cinema errupts into mayhem.
Everyone is screaming NO! No no. The rest of the film is blur. there is 5 minutes of epilogue narrative, but noone remembers how the story is wrapped up. The
sounds made by the audience are undescribable. Every girl left the cinema with the same thoughts and were expressing them. "I will never have a baby." A
truly powerful film. I do NOT recommend it. Unless you want to see that.
There are no motorcycles in this film. until the very very end just before the curtains meet.
finally decides to watch the film, a very abrubt change happens (partly due to a bad changeover by the projectionist). We cut to a 16mm film blown up to 35mm and projected on a medium size cinama screen of an actual birth. I've seen
birthing movies before (Mo' Better Blues) but Jesus Christo. Dios Mio.
Extreme Closeup. The film is very old so EVERYTHING is pink. The doctor
uses a speculum. The audience in the cinema is grossed out audibly. It is only the begining. But really nothing any bizarre film buff hasn't scene. Some of the people were even laughing at the people who were grossed out. "oh come on,
that's nothing" They were more right than they knew. A clamp is used on the baby's head. This is inside. A screw is actually turned to tighten the clamp. They are reffered to as "the blades" in the narration. Most of the narrartion goes unheard because at this point the audience is SCREAMING in horror. People
are jumping around and covering their faces. I look back and forth between the horrible screen and the most beautiful girl who is my date. It is our first date. She looks like she is going to cry.
The doctor pulls the baby out with the clamp but can only get the head out. The process is paused for awhile, the head only exposed. I feel like running out of the theater, but realize this film will never get shown again. My morbid curiosity is compelled as is the entire cinema. The doctor continues to try a few times but fails. As soon as the scissors appear, the cinema errupts into mayhem.
Everyone is screaming NO! No no. The rest of the film is blur. there is 5 minutes of epilogue narrative, but noone remembers how the story is wrapped up. The
sounds made by the audience are undescribable. Every girl left the cinema with the same thoughts and were expressing them. "I will never have a baby." A
truly powerful film. I do NOT recommend it. Unless you want to see that.
There are no motorcycles in this film. until the very very end just before the curtains meet.
Vintage 60's exploitation junk
Woodyanders3 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Insanely cute teenage hottie Arlene Taylor (an appealing portrayal by the adorable Arlene Sue Farber, who went on to play Tony Lo Bianco's girlfriend in "The French Connection") lies to her nice clean-cut boyfriend Tony Michaels (affable Howard Le May) that she's pregnant in order to get Tony to marry her. Meanwhile, cocky and antagonistic pot dealer bully Duke Markell (an uproariously histrionic performance by Frederick Ricco) plans to rape bold and progressive new Swedish sex education teacher Erika Petersen (fetching Julie Enge). Boy, does this choice chunk of drive-in detritus really soak up the whole get-down hip 60's youth scene: we've got kids smoking grass and making out in parked cars, a little rough'n'tumble fisticuffs, a swingin' groovy score by Steve Karmen, and a simply spectacular nightclub sequence complete with go-go dancer, a cool garage rock band called the Young Set, and kids doing the frug with joyful abandon (Farber in particular busts some sweet moves while wearing a dynamite clingy purple dress). Moreover, this flick possesses all the right wrong stuff to rate as a highly entertaining schlockfest: flat direction by legendary East Coast exploitation movie distributor Jerry Gross (who also co-wrote the lurid script and makes a cameo appearance as a truck driver), a plodding pace, thirtysomething-ish year old actors playing adolescents, rough, scratchy cinematography (the occasional fade-outs are extremely primitive), a clunkily sincere tone, and plenty of gut-busting lousy acting (Ricco cops the top thespic dishonors with his annoying hyena-like laugh and ridiculously hammy twitchy mannerisms). A very young and then unknown Fred Willard pops up as the amiable gym coach and New York sleaze flick perennial Alex Mann has a small part as a member of Duke's gang. Best of all, the picture concludes with a hideously explicit and revolting clip of a woman giving birth to a baby that's supposed to somehow be tasteful and acceptable because it's being shown for the sake of enlightenment. Now, that's what I call pure give 'em what they paid to see exploitation, baby!
TEENAGE MUTHA
BandSAboutMovies4 April 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The film that dares to explain what most parents can't...
SEE life begin!
SEE the actual birth of a baby!
There are some movies that I can't wait to watch. And then there are others that I keep from watching, waiting for the right moment so that they achieve maximum viewing velocity and impact.
For years I've thrilled to the trailer for Teenage Mother, with its barking voice basically shouting to no one in particular, "It happens 250,000 times a year. Where is your daughter tonight? This is the story of a girl who wasn't careful."
I can word for word perform this trailer for you - go ahead, ask me next time you see me in person - so I was concerned. How could the movie live up to a ballyhoo build that promises a girl who turns brother against brother, a wanton lass so scandalous that roadshow presentations of her story would come complete with split audiences for the boys and the girls, as well as a nurse to explain "the real facts of life" with a "brief lecture about how we use our bodies." The voiceover shrilly lays it all on the line, "every parent should bring our child. It explains things you can't" in color and Cinemascope.
Also known as The Hygiene Story, a lesser title if there ever was one, this was produced by Jerry Gross. Obviously, he learned and applied the square up reel instructional angle that the legendary Kroger Babb employed when he roadshow four-walled Mom and Dad across America for decades. While Gross only directed two other movies - Female Animal and Girl On a Chain Gang - he also produced everything from All the Kind Strangers to Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song and The Black Godfather.
More than that, Gross was the genius who bought a movie called Caribbean Adventure, retitled it I Eat Your Skin and like some mad genius, had the vision to pair it with a movie that is literally LSD on filmstock, I Drink Your Blood.
Gross brought both of the Mondo Cane films to American theaters, complete with actors hired to play natives that would dance through the aisles. He also had a hand in getting Fulci's Zombie, Fritz the Cat, Blood Beach, Johnny Got His Gun and The Boogeyman on screens. And he possessed the carny intelligence it took to rename Day of the Woman to the much more titillating - and money-making - nom de plume I Spit On Your Grave.
Nobody could title a movie like Jerry. He once said, "I guarantee that all these are selling titles. The public just cannot resist a film if the title drags them in. Stars don't matter. Titles do!"
Jerry pulls a fast one here, as our heroine Arlene (Arlene Farber, the at-the-time wife of Gross, who appears in the film as a seedy truck driver) never even gets knocked up. She's just lying to her boyfriend to get attention. So yeah - the movie Teenage Mother doesn't even have a teenage mother in it, but is really about Ms. Peterson, a teacher who has angered all the parents with her sex education class.
Beyond all that, Teenage Mother provides an odd place for several stars to get their first on-screen credit. Earl Hindman, Wilson from Home Improvement, is here, as are Lynne Lipton (the voice of Cheetara on Thundercats), Alex Mann (who appeared in movies by Joe Sarno, Barry Mahon, Doris Wishman and Michael Findlay) and most surprising, Fred Willard. In his brief moment on screen, he breaks up an attack on Ms. Peterson, an act that the future star of Fernwood 2 Night said caused boos in some of the rougher showings of this opus.
But back to the story. Our heroine being mock pregnant has the town in an uproar and the hygiene class is the culprit.
"Teaching that stuff in school is like talking about the Devil right in church," screams the matronly librarian - who should really speak in a hush, if you think about it - at one point. But for all the bluster of the trailer about how "this is a film about a girl who went all the way" and how this "may very well be the most important film that you will ever see," the sleaze mostly resides in that five-minute get butts in the seats masterpiece.
I say mostly because Teenage Mother ends with the actual birth of a child - forceps and all - with the same voice as the aforementioned trailer, which I like to believe is Gross. It's the most clinical and mechanical description of the miracle of birth you've ever seen, using words like Universal Joint, interior birth canal and minimal compression of the fetal head.
You have to love a movie whose climax is predicated on stock footage being shown, much less stock footage that Gross slipped some doctor fifty bucks for.
Never let anyone tell you that this world is bereft of magic. At one point, Jerry Gross walked the Earth and instead of using his genius for the kind of things that normal humans celebrate like inventing consumer products or running for political office, he blessed us all with mind-melting reels of cinema. He taught us so many things, foremost among them the knowledge that Satan is an acidhead and that Teenage Mother means nine months of trouble.
SEE life begin!
SEE the actual birth of a baby!
There are some movies that I can't wait to watch. And then there are others that I keep from watching, waiting for the right moment so that they achieve maximum viewing velocity and impact.
For years I've thrilled to the trailer for Teenage Mother, with its barking voice basically shouting to no one in particular, "It happens 250,000 times a year. Where is your daughter tonight? This is the story of a girl who wasn't careful."
I can word for word perform this trailer for you - go ahead, ask me next time you see me in person - so I was concerned. How could the movie live up to a ballyhoo build that promises a girl who turns brother against brother, a wanton lass so scandalous that roadshow presentations of her story would come complete with split audiences for the boys and the girls, as well as a nurse to explain "the real facts of life" with a "brief lecture about how we use our bodies." The voiceover shrilly lays it all on the line, "every parent should bring our child. It explains things you can't" in color and Cinemascope.
Also known as The Hygiene Story, a lesser title if there ever was one, this was produced by Jerry Gross. Obviously, he learned and applied the square up reel instructional angle that the legendary Kroger Babb employed when he roadshow four-walled Mom and Dad across America for decades. While Gross only directed two other movies - Female Animal and Girl On a Chain Gang - he also produced everything from All the Kind Strangers to Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song and The Black Godfather.
More than that, Gross was the genius who bought a movie called Caribbean Adventure, retitled it I Eat Your Skin and like some mad genius, had the vision to pair it with a movie that is literally LSD on filmstock, I Drink Your Blood.
Gross brought both of the Mondo Cane films to American theaters, complete with actors hired to play natives that would dance through the aisles. He also had a hand in getting Fulci's Zombie, Fritz the Cat, Blood Beach, Johnny Got His Gun and The Boogeyman on screens. And he possessed the carny intelligence it took to rename Day of the Woman to the much more titillating - and money-making - nom de plume I Spit On Your Grave.
Nobody could title a movie like Jerry. He once said, "I guarantee that all these are selling titles. The public just cannot resist a film if the title drags them in. Stars don't matter. Titles do!"
Jerry pulls a fast one here, as our heroine Arlene (Arlene Farber, the at-the-time wife of Gross, who appears in the film as a seedy truck driver) never even gets knocked up. She's just lying to her boyfriend to get attention. So yeah - the movie Teenage Mother doesn't even have a teenage mother in it, but is really about Ms. Peterson, a teacher who has angered all the parents with her sex education class.
Beyond all that, Teenage Mother provides an odd place for several stars to get their first on-screen credit. Earl Hindman, Wilson from Home Improvement, is here, as are Lynne Lipton (the voice of Cheetara on Thundercats), Alex Mann (who appeared in movies by Joe Sarno, Barry Mahon, Doris Wishman and Michael Findlay) and most surprising, Fred Willard. In his brief moment on screen, he breaks up an attack on Ms. Peterson, an act that the future star of Fernwood 2 Night said caused boos in some of the rougher showings of this opus.
But back to the story. Our heroine being mock pregnant has the town in an uproar and the hygiene class is the culprit.
"Teaching that stuff in school is like talking about the Devil right in church," screams the matronly librarian - who should really speak in a hush, if you think about it - at one point. But for all the bluster of the trailer about how "this is a film about a girl who went all the way" and how this "may very well be the most important film that you will ever see," the sleaze mostly resides in that five-minute get butts in the seats masterpiece.
I say mostly because Teenage Mother ends with the actual birth of a child - forceps and all - with the same voice as the aforementioned trailer, which I like to believe is Gross. It's the most clinical and mechanical description of the miracle of birth you've ever seen, using words like Universal Joint, interior birth canal and minimal compression of the fetal head.
You have to love a movie whose climax is predicated on stock footage being shown, much less stock footage that Gross slipped some doctor fifty bucks for.
Never let anyone tell you that this world is bereft of magic. At one point, Jerry Gross walked the Earth and instead of using his genius for the kind of things that normal humans celebrate like inventing consumer products or running for political office, he blessed us all with mind-melting reels of cinema. He taught us so many things, foremost among them the knowledge that Satan is an acidhead and that Teenage Mother means nine months of trouble.
Probably the best fun event ever made!
UNOhwen25 October 2019
It's amazing what someone with no budget can do; they filmed this gorgeous-looking film in CinemaScope... or so they say. I learned your CAN be a 'little pregnant'... even if the Suzie says otherwise.i learned that one can easily pick out 'bad' girls.. they wear zit creme all over their face AND lips, they've got MASSIVE (I mean Ronettes-big!) bouffants. The best teachers to teach sex are ALWAYS Scandinavian with what appears to be a 'mild' crystal meth habit. I leaned that being a ten year means going to schools without any teachers, and then found straight to the raceway... Just to hang out! When boys Getty bad, they gang rape 'bad ' girls - WHILST their girlfriends watch!!!!
Man, life in the mid 60's in the states was crazy! Now I know why is as messed up as it is!
BTW; Stanley Kubrick's 2001 skirt hold a candle - either in camera work, special effects... NOTHING to this slice of juvenilla! . I missed out -big time - by might
Man, life in the mid 60's in the states was crazy! Now I know why is as messed up as it is!
BTW; Stanley Kubrick's 2001 skirt hold a candle - either in camera work, special effects... NOTHING to this slice of juvenilla! . I missed out -big time - by might
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