The Parent Trap (1961)
Brian Keith: Mitch Evers
Photos
Quotes
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Mitch Evers : [entering the dining room to see an empty table] Hey, uh, what happened to dinner?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper' : Oh, dinner's being served on the patio tonight.
Mitch Evers : Oh, whose idea is that?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper' : It's none of my nevermind. I don't say a word.
Mitch Evers : [turning to leave; deadpan] I know, you never say a word to anyone.
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Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Oh darn!
Mitch Evers : What's the matter?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Well, I've got a wet dishcloth on and I put some knots in it. Open it for me!
Mitch Evers : Maggie, as long as everybody's apologizing, I think maybe I better do mine too. I mean about the other night, well, I didn't mean for it to sound like uh... I guess I'm not very good with the compliments what with growing up out here with the cows...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Oh now, don't give me that old "growing up with the cows routine"! You handed me that years ago!
Mitch Evers : I did not!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : You certainly did!
Mitch Evers : Well it worked didn't it? You liked it!
[Maggie does a not very good job of hiding a smile]
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Mitch Evers : Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : [trying to brush it off] Ah...
Mitch Evers : No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Mitch?
Mitch Evers : What?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : You've got stew all over you.
Mitch Evers : I don't care.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Go and wash it off.
[pause]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : What do you miss?
Mitch Evers : Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Why did you take so long to tell me?
Mitch Evers : I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : I know.
Mitch Evers : You don't want that, do you?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : No Mitch.
[they kiss]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
Mitch Evers : Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
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Vicky Robinson : [after two little bear cubs licks Vicky's foot with honey, she wakes up screaming] Oh! Oh! Get me out of here! Get me out of here! Let me out!
[screams]
Vicky Robinson : Let me out of here! Get them away from me! Get those wild animals out!
[screams]
Vicky Robinson : Get them away! Get them out! I hate them! Get them away from me, Get them away from me! I hate this... I hate this place! I hate this filthy stinking dirty place!
Hecky : [Then Vicky Robinson comes out of her tent tangled in stings] What are you yelling about Miss? It's just... Just litty-bitty old bear cubs, they wouldn't hurt a fly.
Vicky Robinson : You shut up and get me my boots!
[throws the coffee can at Hecky and misses]
Hecky : Yes, ma'am.
[Vicky vandalizes the camp and breaks the fishing rod and knocks down camping equipment]
Vicky Robinson : Ohh, I hate this place! This may be somebody's idea of fun! But, It's not mine! I hate the fish, I hate the lake! I hate the bees, I hate the filthy bugs! I can't stand it! I want to go back to Central Park East!
[Mitch runs up to Vicky]
Mitch Evers : What the heck are you doing with the food? What's the matter, what's happening?
Vicky Robinson : You big overgrown jerk, it's not worth it!
[She pushes Mitch and he falls over her tent. Sharon and Susan run up to Vicky]
Sharon McKendrick : Do you want your clothes, Vicky?
Vicky Robinson : Thanks a heap! You, you're twins! Do you share everything?
[Vicky takes the bag of clothes]
Sharon McKendrick : Everything.
Susan Evers : Everything.
Vicky Robinson : Well, you give your sister her half for this!
[slap Susan Evers in the face]
Mitch Evers : Hey, wait a minute, there's no cause for that. They didn't do anything to you!
Vicky Robinson : You never know what they did to me, you big goon! Get me out of this stinking fresh air!
[Vicky and Hecky hike down the hill back to the truck]
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Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Don't you take that tone with me Mitch. I lambed you once!
[she tries to make a childish fist but it gets wrapped under her robe sleeve, so she pulls the sleeve down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Now stand back.
Mitch Evers : Oh Maggie, come on...
[he tries to grab her arm from behind but she elbows him instead and instinctively punches him in the eye]
Mitch Evers : Ow!
[covers his eye]
Mitch Evers : Why do you have to get so physical? Can't even talk to you about anything, you're always pelting me with something.
[mopes over to the couch and lies down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Oh, stop being such a big baby. Let me take a look at it.
[tries to look at his eye but he childishly won't let her]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : You're acting worse than the twins.
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Mitch Evers : Would you mind putting on something decent?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : I'm dressed perfectly decent.
Mitch Evers : Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Like we what?
Mitch Evers : Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!
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Mitch Evers : Hey, Maggie, you look pretty good. What did you do to yourself?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : *Do* to myself?
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Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper' : You didn't know what a good thing you had when you had it.
Mitch Evers : Huh?
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Sharon McKendrick : [after Mitch tells her he's going to marry Vicky] Don't you see, Dad, it's all relative. Compared to her, you're an old man.
Mitch Evers : [practically shouting] I am not an old man!
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Mitch Evers : That's the last time I'm going to take a woman to the mountains; that's all I've got to say.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Oh, ah... Where is, um... um, what's her name?
Mitch Evers : Vicky?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : Yeah, yeah. Vicky.
Mitch Evers : Yeah, yeah... Well... she took off like a pelican and she's probably at Park Avenue and 57th Street by now, and good luck to her.
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Hecky : What's eatin' you?
Mitch Evers : [Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Margaret is arriving from Boston] You ever have a feelin' that something bad is about to happen, like a storm brewin'?
Hecky : [quizzically looking up at the sky] No.
Mitch Evers : Never mind; let's go.
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Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : [Looking at Mitch's black eye] Oh, Mitch, that eye, it just looks dreadful. Now really, you must put something on it.
Mitch Evers : Don't concern yourself.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick : What did you do... step on a rake?
Mitch Evers : No. Actually, a very well-bred, lady-like, Bostonian matron pinned it on me, if you want the Associated Press release on it.