Woman Haters (1934)
Don Roberts: Club Doorman
Quotes
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[first lines]
Club Chairman : Gentlemen, please, the meeting is called to order, and we need quiet, not a riot, otherwise we can't proceed. Listen, you woman haters, we meet for the seventh time, to convince each member of the club that romance is a crime! If you have any questions or any suggestions that you'd like to make today, or if you have a notion to offer a motion, let's hear what you have to say. Come, speak up like a hero, your speech need not be rehearsed. Who's that? Oh, yes, it's Mr. Zero!
Mr. Zero : All right, I'll speak up first!
[applause]
Mr. Zero : I'll give you my opinion of the opposite sex: When a man marries a girl, he has to work while she relaxes. Some smart-aleck wrote a book, "The Woman Always Pays". Yeah, she pays for perfume, powder, paint, and every silly craze. But where does the money come from? From those dopey guys who fall! I say, down with every guy who sings "My life, my love, my all"!
Club Chairman : Gentleman, those in favor, say "Aye"!
Club members : Aye! Aye!
Club Chairman : All right, we'll pass that by!
Club Doorman : Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without.
Club Chairman : Without what?
Club Doorman : They want to join our club today.
Club Chairman : Okay, admit them, right away!
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Club Chairman : The thirtieth meeting of the Woman Haters' club is called.
Club Doorman : Mr. Chairman, there's a man outside.
Club Chairman : Tell him to come inside!
[an elderly Jim enters]
Club Chairman : Well, what do you want?
Jim : I want to join the Woman Haters' Club!
Jim : [sings] For you, for you, my life, my love, my all, Each evening when the twilight's falling, I'll come home to you, calling...
Tom , Jack : Yoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo,
Jim : I'll croon...
Jack : [sings] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo
Jim : A little song about the moon,
[Jim whistles, holding his cane, imitating a flute player]
Tom , Jack , Jim : And when I'm finished crooning, on my knees I'll fall,
Jack : My life,
Jim : My love,
Tom : My all!
