3/10
A tedious overlong slog that while nice looking fails to establish any atmosphere, stakes, investment, or scares
18 August 2023
In 1938, the Ratch family consisting of husband and wife David (Wil Coban) and Gwen (Nell Hudson) and their daughter Jackie (Florrie Wilkinson) are on a voyage aboard the Queen Mary as third class passengers masquerading as first class passengers. Meanwhile in present day, The Queen Mary is now permanently docked as a tourist attraction and now sees the Caulder family consisting of Anne (Alice Eve) her son Lukas (Lenny Rush) and estranged husband Patrick (Joel Fry) who come to the ship intending to write about its allegedly supernatural history from a child's point of view only to find the hauntings might be all too real.

Haunting of the Queen Mary is a 2023 horror film from director Gary Shore and co-written by Shore with Tom Vaughan and Stephen Oliver co-writing. The film is a British co-production among several companies and producers and began development back in 2013, around the same time producer Brett Tomberlin was working on another tourist attraction based horror film, 2018's Winchester which was also scripted by Vaughan. The producers really seemed to be pushing for Haunting of the Queen Mary as they announced their intention to make this the first in a trilogy of films centered around the ship, but this is most likely a "one and done" deal as Haunting of the Queen Mary is one of the most tedious and unstructured ghost movies I can recall of recent memory.

I'll start off by saying I think the film does a good job photographing the Queen Mary and I did at first enjoy the shots down corridors that convey the labyrinthian nature of the ship. I also felt the production design for the segments in 1938 were quite impressive with most of the visually interesting elements taking place in that part of the movie. The movie itself however despite looking pretty nice has very little going on underneath and the writing that keeps bouncing back and forth between the past and the present prevents any establishment of mood or foreboding tone from taking hold. While it is possible to have a horror story that jumps around the timeline as Mike Flanagan's Oculus proved, there needs to be a connection between the two time lines so that it still forms into a cohesive whole. With Haunting of the Queen Mary's storylines, there's nothing that really ties the two timelines together (at least not until the very end) that it feels less like you're watching a movie and more like you're watching two thirds of two different movies that have been crudely put together. Most of the characterization is rather flat on the Caulder family with the rather strange decision of having their 8 year old son played by little person actor Lenny Rush who has appeared in well regarded material but with a mixture of clunky dialogue that feels like it's written for someone 6 years old at most it becomes very distracting. Alice Eve and Joel Fry are just stuck in bland roles and it would be hard for anyone to make those engaging. I will say that I did think the Ratch family was better by comparison as Florrie Wilkinson as the daughter Jackie gets some decent scenes, but again it's not really scary because there isn't as much time spent developing them as there should be. The movie putters along at a punishing runtime of just under two hours, and by the one hour mark I simply wanted the film to end.

I didn't expect much from Haunting of the Queen Mary given its connections to the movie Winchester which with the exception of Helen Mirren was just mediocre, but even by my lowest expectations the film still fell short of them. With paper thin characters, a sloppy unfocused screenplay, and an inability to get any fear or dread from its premise, Haunting of the Queen Mary is a failure as a horror film and there is no way we're getting that trilogy. Sorry producers.
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