Review of FUBAR

FUBAR (2023– )
2/10
Extremely Poor Script
26 May 2023
This is one of the worst, if not the very worst, production I've ever seen Schwarzenegger in. I can't help but suspect that some of the reviews awarding more than 5 stars are fake. Yes, it's that bad. The script is absurdly clumsy and amateurish. The context and plot line are a collection of cliches stitched together in an uninspired way. The only surprises are circumstances that are so implausible and unconvincing that it surprises you that they made it into the final cut.

Worst of all, the dialog is utterly unconvincing and stilted.

Ostensibly, this is a romantic comedy grafted onto a spy story. Schwarzenegger can be surprisingly successful with comedic material, but handing him a bad script with fingers crossed is not a recipe for success. For a successful movie along these lines, I'd point to Red Notice, with Dwayne Johnson delivering a script of the quality that Schwarzenegger should have been given.

Also, rather out of character for Schwarzenegger, and, I think, unbecoming for him, his character is an emasculated old man with little apparent self-respect, as are most of the male leads. How can you expect an audience to engage with such characters in a romantic drama? Schwarzenegger's character is constantly berated by his bratty, air-headed daughter, disrespected by his superiors, and follows like a puppy dog a woman who started an affair and divorced him 15 years earlier. It's never convincingly explained why this man would want such a woman back, especially after 15 years, and why the woman would react with anything other than revulsion at him. Not only are these circumstances unlikely for any man, they are also totally out of character with his supposed career as a James Bond style spy given over-the-top, save-the-world kinds of assignments. It's incongruent, and just doesn't work theatrically.

Similarly, the daughter, despite a supposedly equally spectacular career, is portrayed as a thin-skinned, whining, brat, ready to start a self-important harangue at the drop of a hat. Also, there's a good bit of embarrassingly dated banter about gender roles that might have been relevant 4 or 5 decades ago, but whose cultural context would probably be lost on most younger viewers today. Her fiance is a boring, emasculated man for whom she professes love but without any apparent chemistry.

In short, none of the major characters are in any way interesting or appealing, and none of the dynamics of their interactions is interesting or appealing.

It puzzles me that a star with Schwarzenegger's standing would accept a role in something this bad.

Even if you are a Schwarzenegger fan, as I am, I am comfortable advising you to skip this cringe-worthy piece of cinematic trash.
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