4/10
Melting what you love
25 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The film centers around three kids - Timmy, Mick, and Jamie - who are huge nerds for a cartoon about dinosaurs who fight cavemen known as "The Rockies". Timmy's parents are scientists who happen to be experimenting with sending things through time and space, and who also happen to leave for a convention and leaving their young son all by himself. Timmy invites his friends to the lab to watch their show on the big screen, which results in them being sucked right into the cartoon... only now everything is live action. Now in dinosaur world, they learn that the show's villain, Mr. Big, is planning to cause a lava meltdown of Saur City in order to take over. The kids rush to Tar Town to find Rex and Tops, the nominal heroes of the cartoon, to get them to stop Mr. Big and the Rockies.

Like a lot of people, I remember seeing this film on the Disney Channel during the early 1990's. Like a lot of youths, I was huge into dinosaurs, and I also tended to like stories with action and adventure, so at the time, this was good mindless entertainment. I also had vivid memories of random scenes, like Mr. Big laughing at his reveal (which actually scared me a bit at the time), the fate of Rex's father, or Forry's tree house. Out of curiosity, and a sense of nostalgia, I found copies of it online, and watched it again. Holy cow, it didn't exactly hold up. What is wrong with this movie?

For one, this movie has plot holes a brontosaurus herd could storm through. The biggest of all is... why exactly is Mr. Big trying to melt down Saur City? He says it'll help him take over, but it's established early on that he and his Rockies are pretty much in charge of it. They extort the people and have them under the thumb. How is destroying the entire city going to make him in charge? (I can just see Mr. Big and his Rockies standing there amidst the smoldering ruins. "What now, boss?" / "Now we... uh... oh crud, I didn't think this far...") The people of Tar Town don't seem to care that Saur City may go up in flames, so they clearly wouldn't be in fear or worrying about Mr. Big's power. So... again, why exactly does he want to melt down Saur City? I was reminded of the villain from "The American Rabbit", who couldn't back up his evil motivation with anything other than, "Because we're bad! That's what we do!" Also, why is Mr. Big initially hiding his identity? Yes, the allosaurs used to rule and were kicked out, but again, he's pretty much in charge of Saur City, and they later establish that everyone knows that he's an allosaurus already, so... why hiding? Also, how did the control for the machine suddenly become like a remote control in the dinosaur world? Never fully explained, you just have to sort of accept it as fact a la deus ex machina.

Another problem are the dinosaur costumes. Some of them are impressive enough, but some are rather lacking. Many of them seem to have eyes that barely move, so that for characters like Rex, about the only emotional change you'll get with his face is blinking. It also seems that most of the costumes, save for Tops, weren't designed well for action scenes. When Rex fights, he mostly just kinda stands there and lets the Rockies come to him, after which he swings a punch when they're close enough. This results in a lot of the fight scenes being boring, since they're a lot of the same moves over and over again.

Perhaps most shocking was just how adult this film can be. Seriously, there are enough jokes and innuendos to make me never want to show my younger kids this. Forry checks out Missy's butt as she's walking away. (The camera even does a close up of it.) Missy makes a lot of clear sexual references, like, "That's not the kind of action I had in mind!" Mick gets shoved face first into dinosaur boobs. (I'm NOT making this up!) And I'm pretty sure Tops is touching Jamie's breasts when he catches her from falling. There's also a scene in the trailer with dialogue that's not in the original movie, where Jamie tells some prison guards that she's looking for some guys to "get off" with. (Again, NOT making this up!) Seriously, this movie is for kids? Okay, granted, it's technically rated PG, but the plot and delivery is so dumb that only a kid would love it, but the content reaches adult levels so often that you'd probably feel awkward showing this to your 8-year old. I know some family friends will throw little things in there for adults... but they can usually be good about making it subtle enough. This film, however, is not subtle.

If you remember this film from your childhood, then by all means give it a watch. Laugh at it, enjoy it, and relish it, because, at the end of the day, it CAN be an enjoyable bad movie. That's why I've given it at least four stars here, rather than, say, one or two. Just be ready TO laugh at it, because trust me, this movie gives you plenty to laugh at.
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