I'm a little distracted while watching this movie tonight as a friend from Illinois sent me a surprise goody box in the mail today and I find myself unable to concentrate on 'Action USA' as I want to know what's inside the surprise package instead.
That's either Johnny Cage, or James Marshall, driving that blue Corvette. Blue? A Corvette must be red as does a 60's Mustang.
Mills from 'Seven' is in my head screaming, "What's in the box?"
So, is this gonna be a Luke Skywalker 'Corvette Summer' rip-off?
Pick up the slack already, movie, or I'm opening my package!
What looked like a comedy to begin with, 'Action USA' quickly turns into any Andy Sidaris movie, then Freddie Mercury, and his stand over man, break into a house and assault Johnny Cage and the escort lady. Cage is taken hostage in the trunk of a car then express sent by air mail to an unknown location.
That's not Johnny Cage, it's Craig T Nelson.
He's combat-zone-dropped in the Hoover Dam and miraculously survives the 200ft drop somehow?
For some reason the sound keeps dropping out then coming loud.
And the movie will generate a headache by the time the end credits roll with all this fast-paced driving around motion.
There's not much of a plot. It's flimsy really. They just want an excuse, (Arnold's planted knowledge from 'Total Recall,') to hit the highway and make it a road movie with wild goose chases and 'Smokey and The Bandit' scenarios in finding out what Arnold knows.
Basically, a dude possesses the whereabouts of some valuable jewellery inside his head and everybody wants to capture him to beat a confession out of him to spill the beans.
Freddie Mercury, with a lousy aim, has a 100-round chamber in his six shooter that never needs reloading.
Johnny Cage is recaptured after a little 'Dukes of Hazzard'/'Mad Max' action then is surprisingly shot point-blank by Freddie Mercury, who's ultra aggressive in this movie.
The Andy Sidaris model escapes only to be captured by Reese, or Richard Grieco, although, he has Lawn Mower Man eyes.
No wait! It's Richard Marx. It's Richard Marx.
Marx mumbles something about Sarah Connor so it must be Reese and not, um, Richard Grieco?
A stain glassed shower scene blurs eye exposure to a sensual naked figure soaping up. Thanks a lot. (A movie for the seeing impaired.)
Making his grand entrance through a front window, with his usual Judy Collins flair, Freddie Mercury gets plugged full of bullets and dies hard in the tradition of a 'Hard to Kill' what-cha-ma-call-it movie?
Why are trained FBI agents on the run from a two-bit hitman?
Oh look, its Joey's dad from 'The Wanderers.' So, Joey didn't kill him after all like he thought.
I think it's about time we found out what's inside my package as this movie is so late 80's and not working in 2023.
'Action USA' goes nowhere, so I'm initiating what I call "Operation Box Reveal." (It's the equivalent of unboxing a package on YouTube.) Let's see, two packets of Sun Chips, French Onion, from Texas. Where this silly movie was made. (Sun Chips were my staple diet in Vancouver.)
What's-her-name? The Andy Sidaris model was just abducted again by a hired gun called Drago. No, not what you think. He's a free agent, best of the best, hitmen supposedly.
The Andy Sidaris escort keeps getting bounced around like a tennis ball as all this movie wants to do is go on the road to display stupid car chase scenes and dumb stunts and people falling from high distances.
My surprise package also contains a gold $1 coin with John Tyler on it. You guys didn't replace your $1 notes with coins, did you? I like the American dollar note as it has the "all seeing pyramid eye" on it. (If you Astral Travel you may have encountered it? Never mind.)
'Action USA' continues to chug along like a tug boat as I'm rifling through my package.
We're not missing out on much with this long, drawn-out, movie. There was no need for it to run for one-hour and thirty-six minutes.
The baddy from 'Tango & Cash,' Perret, has sent out some Russian tracker to retrieve the Andy Sidaris model, as she now possesses the 'Total Recall' knowledge that only Kuato can extract. How she obtained this knowledge - who knows? Only the dead guy at the start, Reese, knew of its whereabouts.
'Action USA' is a lame road movie that fails to drive a dagger through even the most anaemic vampire. It needs to sharpen its stake as it's been soaking too long in that chalk stuff you rub your pool cues in. Blunt as the receiving end of a piece of wood in woodwork.
In the fashion of most Andy Sidaris movies, everyone in 'Action USA' is after a bag of diamonds. (I must have been looking in my package as I missed the part when they finally found them. They look like something you get out of those twist machines you pop a quarter in.)
Last but not least I've been gifted chocolate mint Pur Gum from Toronto. Chocolate? Never had chocolate gum before.
A 'Convoy' barroom fight scene breaks out as nothing else happens in this movie.
This movie is like a provincial bush league production that was funded by a local lottery in the town of Plano.
A wooden house at the one hour and eight-minute mark explodes. How is that even possible? How does wood explode? Can someone explain that to me? Spit fire is one thing, with sappy redwood lashing out, but an exploding house? Wood is not a conductor.
Exploding gas tanks, cars flying through the air, none of these explosions do anything for me in 2023.
They even use that outdated car-up-the-ramp trick to turn the auto over on its side. (The me of the 80's would be in his glory watching all this action but the me of today sits here like a Cactus Pickle in need of hydration and cloud cover. I know, I know, there's no such thing as a Cactus Pickle. Well, hang on! Actually, you can pickle cactus! So, there you go...I really am a Cactus Pickle after all when watching movies today. That explains it all.)
Everything in this movie is as outdated as neon shirts from the 80's. None of this crap will fly in 2023! Do you even see anyone wearing a neon today? I rest my case.
'Action USA' must be the brainchild of some beauty school dropouts who didn't get past the 7th grade as it seems like an action movie for dullards who didn't graduate. The uneducated, and easily pleased, will take delight in this garbage.
Oh man, just when you think it's over, 'Action USA' ambles along some more with a fresh wave of baddies. I thought that was the ending up that tower with the guy sky diving out the window.
Just end already! We all know the good guys will win in the end even though they're outnumbered a hundred to one.
The MVP tonight is the little gold $1 coin.
I can't say much for this movie though - it was garbage. (As were a lot of other road movies from the 80's.) As expected, the three heroes of the movie overcome in the end and it defies any belief that they did so as they were outnumbered as previously stated.
This movie was a waste of time.
I could have been watching porn instead.
An exploding wooden house.
I better be careful next time lighting a BBQ as the wood may have other sinister, malicious, intentions.
That'd be a good plot for a movie - a killer BBQ.
An exploding wooden house.
That's either Johnny Cage, or James Marshall, driving that blue Corvette. Blue? A Corvette must be red as does a 60's Mustang.
Mills from 'Seven' is in my head screaming, "What's in the box?"
So, is this gonna be a Luke Skywalker 'Corvette Summer' rip-off?
Pick up the slack already, movie, or I'm opening my package!
What looked like a comedy to begin with, 'Action USA' quickly turns into any Andy Sidaris movie, then Freddie Mercury, and his stand over man, break into a house and assault Johnny Cage and the escort lady. Cage is taken hostage in the trunk of a car then express sent by air mail to an unknown location.
That's not Johnny Cage, it's Craig T Nelson.
He's combat-zone-dropped in the Hoover Dam and miraculously survives the 200ft drop somehow?
For some reason the sound keeps dropping out then coming loud.
And the movie will generate a headache by the time the end credits roll with all this fast-paced driving around motion.
There's not much of a plot. It's flimsy really. They just want an excuse, (Arnold's planted knowledge from 'Total Recall,') to hit the highway and make it a road movie with wild goose chases and 'Smokey and The Bandit' scenarios in finding out what Arnold knows.
Basically, a dude possesses the whereabouts of some valuable jewellery inside his head and everybody wants to capture him to beat a confession out of him to spill the beans.
Freddie Mercury, with a lousy aim, has a 100-round chamber in his six shooter that never needs reloading.
Johnny Cage is recaptured after a little 'Dukes of Hazzard'/'Mad Max' action then is surprisingly shot point-blank by Freddie Mercury, who's ultra aggressive in this movie.
The Andy Sidaris model escapes only to be captured by Reese, or Richard Grieco, although, he has Lawn Mower Man eyes.
No wait! It's Richard Marx. It's Richard Marx.
Marx mumbles something about Sarah Connor so it must be Reese and not, um, Richard Grieco?
A stain glassed shower scene blurs eye exposure to a sensual naked figure soaping up. Thanks a lot. (A movie for the seeing impaired.)
Making his grand entrance through a front window, with his usual Judy Collins flair, Freddie Mercury gets plugged full of bullets and dies hard in the tradition of a 'Hard to Kill' what-cha-ma-call-it movie?
Why are trained FBI agents on the run from a two-bit hitman?
Oh look, its Joey's dad from 'The Wanderers.' So, Joey didn't kill him after all like he thought.
I think it's about time we found out what's inside my package as this movie is so late 80's and not working in 2023.
'Action USA' goes nowhere, so I'm initiating what I call "Operation Box Reveal." (It's the equivalent of unboxing a package on YouTube.) Let's see, two packets of Sun Chips, French Onion, from Texas. Where this silly movie was made. (Sun Chips were my staple diet in Vancouver.)
What's-her-name? The Andy Sidaris model was just abducted again by a hired gun called Drago. No, not what you think. He's a free agent, best of the best, hitmen supposedly.
The Andy Sidaris escort keeps getting bounced around like a tennis ball as all this movie wants to do is go on the road to display stupid car chase scenes and dumb stunts and people falling from high distances.
My surprise package also contains a gold $1 coin with John Tyler on it. You guys didn't replace your $1 notes with coins, did you? I like the American dollar note as it has the "all seeing pyramid eye" on it. (If you Astral Travel you may have encountered it? Never mind.)
'Action USA' continues to chug along like a tug boat as I'm rifling through my package.
We're not missing out on much with this long, drawn-out, movie. There was no need for it to run for one-hour and thirty-six minutes.
The baddy from 'Tango & Cash,' Perret, has sent out some Russian tracker to retrieve the Andy Sidaris model, as she now possesses the 'Total Recall' knowledge that only Kuato can extract. How she obtained this knowledge - who knows? Only the dead guy at the start, Reese, knew of its whereabouts.
'Action USA' is a lame road movie that fails to drive a dagger through even the most anaemic vampire. It needs to sharpen its stake as it's been soaking too long in that chalk stuff you rub your pool cues in. Blunt as the receiving end of a piece of wood in woodwork.
In the fashion of most Andy Sidaris movies, everyone in 'Action USA' is after a bag of diamonds. (I must have been looking in my package as I missed the part when they finally found them. They look like something you get out of those twist machines you pop a quarter in.)
Last but not least I've been gifted chocolate mint Pur Gum from Toronto. Chocolate? Never had chocolate gum before.
A 'Convoy' barroom fight scene breaks out as nothing else happens in this movie.
This movie is like a provincial bush league production that was funded by a local lottery in the town of Plano.
A wooden house at the one hour and eight-minute mark explodes. How is that even possible? How does wood explode? Can someone explain that to me? Spit fire is one thing, with sappy redwood lashing out, but an exploding house? Wood is not a conductor.
Exploding gas tanks, cars flying through the air, none of these explosions do anything for me in 2023.
They even use that outdated car-up-the-ramp trick to turn the auto over on its side. (The me of the 80's would be in his glory watching all this action but the me of today sits here like a Cactus Pickle in need of hydration and cloud cover. I know, I know, there's no such thing as a Cactus Pickle. Well, hang on! Actually, you can pickle cactus! So, there you go...I really am a Cactus Pickle after all when watching movies today. That explains it all.)
Everything in this movie is as outdated as neon shirts from the 80's. None of this crap will fly in 2023! Do you even see anyone wearing a neon today? I rest my case.
'Action USA' must be the brainchild of some beauty school dropouts who didn't get past the 7th grade as it seems like an action movie for dullards who didn't graduate. The uneducated, and easily pleased, will take delight in this garbage.
Oh man, just when you think it's over, 'Action USA' ambles along some more with a fresh wave of baddies. I thought that was the ending up that tower with the guy sky diving out the window.
Just end already! We all know the good guys will win in the end even though they're outnumbered a hundred to one.
The MVP tonight is the little gold $1 coin.
I can't say much for this movie though - it was garbage. (As were a lot of other road movies from the 80's.) As expected, the three heroes of the movie overcome in the end and it defies any belief that they did so as they were outnumbered as previously stated.
This movie was a waste of time.
I could have been watching porn instead.
An exploding wooden house.
I better be careful next time lighting a BBQ as the wood may have other sinister, malicious, intentions.
That'd be a good plot for a movie - a killer BBQ.
An exploding wooden house.