Merry Matrimony (2015 TV Movie)
2/10
Nonsensical
22 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I don't expect much when it comes to Christmas movies; my standards are pretty low. They are just something to have in the background while I'm doing other things, like wrapping gifts.

Most typical Christmas movie fare rates a 5. Some of the better offerings garner a 6, and once in a while, you see the rare Christmas "Unicorn" movie that deserves a 7 (think Love Actually). But this one...this piece of garbage...wishes it could be a 5. Heck, even a 3 would be aiming high.

I knew I was in for a bumpy ride when Eddie visited Brie at her apartment, after not having seen her for years. He said that he hoped it was okay that he stopped by and he had gotten her address from a fellow co-worker. Interesting, since she was literally in the same apartment as when they were in college together. Why would he need the address? Serious memory issues? Also, typical lazy set dressing; her Christmas decor in her apartment didn't change at all. It was identical. Who doesn't change up their holiday decor for 7 years? Hallmark couldn't spare a couple hundred bucks on different garland and lights. Seriously?

Also, the failure of this couple to communicate or have any chemistry at all was astounding. Hallmark loves to play that lack-of-communication-leading-to-confusion angle, but this one was especially unbelievable. It just went too far and could've been resolved by asking one simple question.

At the end, he proposes to her about 12 seconds after clearing up the confusion. Really?? And she throws the keys to the mansion they were using for the photo shoot and says they may as well use it, since they've got the keys for a couple more days. Really, really?? You didn't want to have time for family and friends fly in? Maybe have time to get a marriage license, so that it's legal? Was she so paranoid that he'd leave again, she needed to get it done before he came to his senses? Why couldn't they go with the "one year later" option?

Utter tripe. Some HM movies are worth a rewatch every year, even if they are barely entertaining. This isn't one of them.
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